TW: Highly disturbed/possible abuse. . . . . . . . . . I was looking at someones followers on instagram, I assumed they had fake followers. I clicked on one of the accounts following them and on there someone posted a picture/video (I couldn't really tell because it wasn't clear and I didnt want to enlarge it) of a baby being dropped and I could see some blood. It really disturbed me. I reported the account and instagram blocked it, so I assume it will be looked into now. This is really horrible for my OCD, I always makesure I'm browsing safely and dont come into contact with anything horrible/violent (it's one of my biggest fears). Its the worst thing in the world to see something happen to a vulnerable person. I cant stop ruminating over the whole thing now :(

I was having a really good day before this, but now I feel stuck in bed. I've asked multiple people to comfort/Reassurance. I have reported it but it doesn't feel like I've done enough. My mum says I cant change the whole world. I have moral scrupulosity and I just feel like a bad person for ever coming across it even though it was completely and totally out of my control. I just feel really distressed and disturbed. I'll try to stop asking for comfort, it just feels so uncomfortable :( the image keeps popping back up in my head. Why would a sick person even post something like that?

@MJocd I don't know. We aren't going to get an answer

@NOCD Advocate - Katie You're right :( for some reason OCD is twisting this whole thing into something bigger. That this incident says something about me as a person, and that I'll never ever forget this disturbing image and have to live with it forever in my head and that is really scary :(

@MJocd What actions can you use to show your brain that you're capable of moving on from it?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I'm not sure. Right now I'm still really upset. I can try to stop seeking reassurance from friends/cousins. They dont seem to bothered by it but I'm absolutely distraught:(.

@MJocd Stopping seeking reassurance is a great plan. What entirely different topic can you discuss instead?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Okay, you're right. I should discuss something else. Maybe the coronavirus?

@MJocd How about something less stressful. Do you have a TV show you're into? Talking about Grey's anatomy with my roommate used to be my go to topic to remind myself that I could be ok even with upsetting thoughts. Because it was totally "normal". We watched the show together on Netflix, so we talked about it a lot. She didn't even have to know why I brought it up

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Okay thankyou. I just cant seem to get it out of my mind, it's been many hours now. It's just so upsetting to me. I've done all I can do and realistically should move on now but I just cant :( I'm so distressed and upset. Nobody seems to understand why. UK going into lockdown is stressing me out even more :(

@MJocd It's a very stressful time.