I have some massive feeling in me that the life i have isn't enough, i need to be doing more but dont know what more even is. I feel like im just floating through life and i will do until im dead without doing anything amazing. Its like my perspective of my life is sooooo mediocre and i need to be saving the world and until i am my brains just reminding me how boring my life is.

Honestly, most people feel like this to some degree most of the time. Especially with such a connected world it always feels like everybody else is on the ball, making something of their lives, getting recognition, doing great things etc. Well they're the lucky and, quite frankly, healthy ones. We all have potential to do great things, but I would rather build a life I am happy with than a life which satisfies what I think I should be, and if that leads to good things then so be it. I don't need to do anything amazing. And this is coming from someone who was constantly told as a child that because I was so academically advanced, I'd obviously do amazing things. I'm done trying to satisfy what people expected of me, they always find something to criticise or to remind you that you should be doing or doing better at. In my experience, meaning is found best in serving others- not their expectations, but their lives. You can't and won't save the world, but maybe you can make your craving for meaning more achievable by shrinking it a little and going from there. Try condensing it. What's important to you? You can volunteer, or train in a field which will allow you to feel part of something important or to help others. What wisdom do you have to share? Could you overcome some of your fears and write a book or create a blog or YouTube channel where you can share? Do you have a community (friends, religious or local etc) which you can support and be supported by? Fantasies of saving the world or being very important can be indications that we aren't feeling loved and valued in our lives- try to remember that those few very important people can't extract real satisfaction and safety and joy from their popularity. Those things always come from the near and dear, from connection and feeling understood and seen and loved, as well as from making a difference. Do you think Trump is happy? Very wise old men have said for a long time that there is beauty and nobility and in living an 'ordinary' life of doing the best you can. It you can make a positive difference to someone's life, you feel fulfilled and it makes an impact. It also gets you to live outside your head and take your obsessions less seriously. It doesn't have to be the whole world, your life can be rich and important to many people by the impact you have on them. Bit by bit try to build a life worth living, and I'm sure that included in there will be ways of serving others. Personally I do my best work in all aspects, and feel most fulfilled, when I'm doing it for that reason. I paint my best paintings when I'm doing them for others rather than to keep or to sell. I give my best advice when I'm looking to hear, support and guide others rather than to feel good about myself. My life is probably just as boring as yours. The virus honestly didn't make a huge difference to my life as I rarely go out, etc. I have my struggles, and sometimes I get into a funk of wasting my time because I'm avoiding the anxieties which come with moving forward and acting and taking risks. But I don't expect that to be my life forever. I have an idea of what I want my life to be and I'm working towards it by being flexible. In the meantime, I try to do more good than harm on a daily basis. That's all. I don't always succeed. But when I do, I go to sleep feeling like I've done a little bit more than just exist.