Not to be negative, but today was a really, really rough day. I couldn’t fall asleep till 4 am because of obsessive thoughts last night, and woke up with bad things on my mind. Laid on the couch from 11-5, had a mental breakdown for which I probably would’ve been hospitalized if the coronavirus didn’t scare my parents. I feel like I’ve had so much stress from OCD that my brain just gave up on me today, and I feel like I can’t find my personality or sense of self. I truly feel like something inside me died today, and I’m worried I won’t ever be the same. Does anyone have any experience with this feeling, or have the slightest idea what I should do?

froggy123

Date posted: 5y

I’m really sorry and I’ve been there. I’ve been at that point. I felt like that yesterday, maybe not as bad but I’ve been that low. It’s awful. It’s the worst feeling you can ever feel. That’s why the good means so much to me now. What ever thing no matter how small that makes you happy, whether it be a TV show, a food, family, or even a moment. That feeling of happiness no matter if its gone in a half a second. Cling to it. Remember it. That’s you. You are not your pain. There is so so much more to who you are than the pain. I have days I lay on my couch crying because of this horrific illness. Take care of yourself. It’s all in the little things that bring us joy my friend <3

mwilson35

Date posted: 5y

Appreciate the support everyone. The severe ocd is a problem, but what I’m more worried about is the depersonalization/derealization type symptoms, I feel like a completely different person lately and I miss feeling like my old self. I’m extremely worried and concerned, has anyone felt this loss of identity?

froggy123

Date posted: 5y

Panic and derealization come hand in hand. I would recommend finding out what makes the feeling better and what makes it worse. Sometimes it’s just a feeling that is jsut there all day, but some things make it worse. Trying to identify those things can really help. Definitely take it one day at a time. And if you can’t do that take it one minute at a time. This will pass

ccg

Date posted: 5y

Yes. I’ve been anxious all day everyday for the past couple of days. I think with everything going on it’s making it harder for me personally. I feel my mind spiraling out of control and it sucks because for a while I was feeling fine and then it started very frequently. I think it will get better I just hope it’s soon rather than later.

exvegan

Date posted: 5y

I’m with you. OCD can really mess with your sense of self (identity). You might try value mapping, there are some worksheets on google, to reconnect with who you are and challenge the OCD. Try out some ACT journaling and conversation right now. Maybe record yourself repeating your main fear in a really silly voice - Mickey Mouse, the Grinch, etc. - and listen back until it sounds kind of obnoxious!

ccg

Date posted: 5y

I’m on the same boat as you. I can’t sleep. I wake up all throughout the night anxious and I’m just in constant fear/ anxiety because of my ocd. It’s horrible but I know that this is just temporary and I think it will get better. I’m currently trying to figure out a way for me too. You’re not alone.

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