- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m really sorry and I’ve been there. I’ve been at that point. I felt like that yesterday, maybe not as bad but I’ve been that low. It’s awful. It’s the worst feeling you can ever feel. That’s why the good means so much to me now. What ever thing no matter how small that makes you happy, whether it be a TV show, a food, family, or even a moment. That feeling of happiness no matter if its gone in a half a second. Cling to it. Remember it. That’s you. You are not your pain. There is so so much more to who you are than the pain. I have days I lay on my couch crying because of this horrific illness. Take care of yourself. It’s all in the little things that bring us joy my friend <3
- Date posted
- 5y
Appreciate the support everyone. The severe ocd is a problem, but what I’m more worried about is the depersonalization/derealization type symptoms, I feel like a completely different person lately and I miss feeling like my old self. I’m extremely worried and concerned, has anyone felt this loss of identity?
- Date posted
- 5y
Panic and derealization come hand in hand. I would recommend finding out what makes the feeling better and what makes it worse. Sometimes it’s just a feeling that is jsut there all day, but some things make it worse. Trying to identify those things can really help. Definitely take it one day at a time. And if you can’t do that take it one minute at a time. This will pass
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes. I’ve been anxious all day everyday for the past couple of days. I think with everything going on it’s making it harder for me personally. I feel my mind spiraling out of control and it sucks because for a while I was feeling fine and then it started very frequently. I think it will get better I just hope it’s soon rather than later.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m with you. OCD can really mess with your sense of self (identity). You might try value mapping, there are some worksheets on google, to reconnect with who you are and challenge the OCD. Try out some ACT journaling and conversation right now. Maybe record yourself repeating your main fear in a really silly voice - Mickey Mouse, the Grinch, etc. - and listen back until it sounds kind of obnoxious!
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m on the same boat as you. I can’t sleep. I wake up all throughout the night anxious and I’m just in constant fear/ anxiety because of my ocd. It’s horrible but I know that this is just temporary and I think it will get better. I’m currently trying to figure out a way for me too. You’re not alone.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
- Date posted
- 11w
(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.
- Date posted
- 10w
I had a really stressful couple of weeks and it's all hitting me right now. I cannot for the life of me shut off my brain my thoughts for a little and it feels like drowning. It's 1 a.m. here and I'm feeling completely hopeless like this feeling is going to last forever. I'm feeling like I can't use the tools I've been given my my psychologist and my meds feel like they've stopped working. I feel like by the end of the end I'm going to lose my mind. I usually am able to find some silver lining but today has been so bad. Everything triggers me and I have really bad intrusive thoughts about dying and finding some peace but I know that's not what I want. It's just so difficult navigating life when your brain works against you. I'm so tired and defeated and I feel like I have no one to turn to, but even that is some form of reassurance and it makes me spiral that I decide actively against it. I just feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm going "insane" from the distress. All my failed friendships and relationships have come back to haunt me and I feel like I can't get out of the house. All my sort comings are layed out in front of me and I feel like I am the worst person in the world and nothing will fix that. I have some real bad thoughts about my friends and family. And I know alla of this is classic symptoms of OCD but even though I know I can't rationalize and come to peace with them. I'm so envious of people being able to lead a normal life without this burden and in my mind it's just highlights all my shortcomings. I've had moments like this before but the last really nasty one was four years ago when I was yet undiagnosed and I really felt insane back then. I was hoping that when this happened to me again I'd be more capable of handling it but I don't think I am. I'm constantly on a battle against my mind and some times I win and sometimes I lose. I'm sorry for the rant I just feel extremely hopeless right now.
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