I think I’ve washed my hands around 13 times today, and it’s not even that many compared to what I usually end up doing :(

Possibly tmi but one thing i’ve been really struggling with lately is using the bathroom and I mean #2. It seems like one of the worst germs to me. First of all I wipe and wipe and wipe more than I assume a person without contamination ocd does but I feel like I must know that its completely clean. Also, I then feel that when I shower and wash down there that my hands are contaminated and I need to wash them multiple times and I spend way too much time doing so. I know this is abnormal but I have trouble understanding how someone without contamination ocd would deal with this situation. I wish I could watch the process of how I should wipe and then how to wash that area in the shower. If anyone else has struggled with this, what did you do to improve? I feel like I don’t know what a “normal” routine would be that is considered clean enough.

for the past 12 days i’ve really been struggling with feeling contaminated, over washing my hands yet they never feel clean, washing them so hard that i start to sweat and my arms give out. i feel like parts of my body are contaminated from being outside. instead of showering and washing my face like a normal person im avoiding myself because im afraid. im afraid that my hands will get contaminated and i wont stop washing my hands. (i know it doesn’t make sense but im experiencing a lot of stress that’s causing my bladder muscles to tighten and i can’t hold in my pee, i need my hands to be clean to even lower my pants) if i get stuck in a handwashing cycle ill pee myself and i never feel brave enough to start. this week has been very hard for me, struggling to eat, sleep, and bathe. i feel i have to move very carefully just to navigate life in a way that won’t stress me out. the fear of touching these areas and my brain constantly convincing me i did had been very hard on me. i know the answer is obvious but i don’t know how to build up the confidence to do these things. i’ve been in a very stressed out and suicidal state for the past month i really dont want to trigger any negative feelings but this isn’t any better. what can i do to just… i guess not be afraid and go for it?

I wash my hands More thank 10 times, I go to the bed and now, after 15 minutes, I want washing again ;( I feel I can touch everything way to my room: the door handle, the trash of kitchen, anything and my parent get mad about that and she gonna angry if I wash again now...I feel sick