LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

Hiya, I've just found this app... (not quite sure how it works or will even help at all, I bloody hope it does cos I've tried so many ways to live with this-here goes) I have suffered hard with unwanted thoughts, counting, repeat, repeat etc for over 25 years now and the majority of that I self medicated with Alcohol until my health is at risk from the juice. Now I am sober and f**k me- my OCD is at an all time high and it's horrible as u know. I wondered if anyone can relate to where I am at. Lee

BelieveInYou...

Date posted: 5y

Welcome ✨ Feel free to share and we'll help whenever we can. Good luck ✌?

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

Welcome ? it's nice to meet you Lee. I hope you find what you are looking for here

js94

Date posted: 5y

I suffer from HOCD, harm OCD, and drink alcohol heavily to self medicate and give the thoughts less power over me ... how do u stop

LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

Hiya mate, if you're drinking daily and heavy first thing you must importantly do is safely either wean yourself off of the alcohol by slowly reducing or get the recommended medication off of your doctor to detox yourself properly (don't just suddenly stop). Then once sober, I find AA helps (surprising how many alcoholics/addicts understand and have OCD) Build a safe network of people who will support you, stay away from negative people even if you have to sack of some associates. Be around good people who understand. I will be hard but once sober you can really knuckle down to deal with your underlying issues. You will get there.

LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

Sorry my spelling mistakes... My mind runs faster than my typing so I miss words now and again- peace.

Jamarceline

Date posted: 5y

Yeah. I used to party a lot and drink once or twice a week and since 1-2 years I drink literally 10 percent of what I was drinking last 10 years and my OCD is the worst ever

LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

Nice one for the msg 'Jamarceline'... How's things with yourself nowadays?

Jamarceline

Date posted: 5y

@Lee1978 Pretty bad. I dont wanna drink all the time like before so I dont drink but this OCD is killing my soul my family thinks OCD is made up by modern people and I cant afford a therapist, I actually believe that even if I could afford a therapist he would be really bad with OCD cause the last one from insurance was lousy . When I drink 1- 2 beers i feel awesome my thoughts have normal speed but I can go tipsy all the time so I suffer:( . But sometimes I have better days or weeks . I think when I was drinking every weekend it was like a reset button to my brain so my OCD wasnt that bad back then .

Jamarceline

Date posted: 5y

@Jamarceline I cant go tipsy *

LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

@Jamarceline Yea I hear you mate... I started drinking, raving, various mind altering substances and all that crap a good 18 years ago... Thought it was the answer, confidence to deal with that evil demon/demons in my head (biggest fears- my death or me causing people death by not completing a ritual properly- magic thinking I know), has ruled my life, jobs, relationships, everything and there's me drinking myself to death to escape my thoughts of death when in actual fact drinks 1 of the biggest killers (plus I knew it) absolutely stupid. We will get better... Slowly but surely and just try our best not to beat our selves up so much and give our selves a pat on the back now and again cos it ain't our fault how we turned out and our journey has not finished yet.

Jamarceline

Date posted: 5y

@Lee1978 I hope we will get better ?. How old are you? And what ocd themes do you have ?

LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

@Jamarceline I'm 42 mate. My themes (I take it you mean what type of OCD I have) Well where do I start... The main thing is random horrific thoughts happening to anyone- wether close to me or a total stranger (and this is none stop all through the day even if I'm busy) I have to neutralise these dark thoughts with me thinking of something nice happening to them, winning the lottery of happyly getting married or whatever. BUT- I have to overcome the strength of these dark thoughts with my mad pointless ritual magic thinking a numerous amount of times to a safe number 3, 8, 11, 15, 21 etc and if I don't get it right- that 1 thought can wind up my whole day. And that's just 1 example... What about you?

Jamarceline

Date posted: 5y

@Lee1978 What are your dark thoughts ? I have spiral of thoughts something like ' what ifs ' like dramatic thinking like something bad is going to happen. if you know what I mean ? . I have schizofrenia OCD - intrusive thoughts tells me I'm developing serious mental illness called schizofrenia, I had ROCD - its questioning your relationship all the time , hierarchy and symmetry all the time . Sometimes its better sometimes is terrible . I'm 26 yo

js94

Date posted: 5y

Thanks leelondon, i have the medicine from my doctor just cant seem to start it, im still drinking tho. How long did u drink for ?

LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

I was dependent for just under 20 years, it's still early days in my attempt to stop this time round, failed staying on wagon a numerous amount of times, just gotta keep trying. So one told me once... "My mind is like a dangerous neighborhood- you don't wanna go in there on your own!!!" So instead of taking Alcohol in there with me I'm trying to get the right tools and information like off of here to take in there with me instead. I hope I made sense there lol.

js94

Date posted: 5y

Ive been dependent for 9 years i really want to stop im 25 y.o , yes it made sense. What kind of OCD do u have

LeeLondon

Date posted: 5y

Me- Uninvited dark intrusive thoughts unnecessarily invade my about bad things happening to people including myself, counting, symmetry, touching objects- causing the obvious ritual madness from a 3 second thing to waisting 3 hours getting something right, just for another bloody thought to pop in my mind after just a 3 min breather from the chaos... Horrid as I'm sure you know. Bro- even tho it must seem impossible and you can't see out of your bubble- just take it from an older my friend(I'm only 42 but if I could go back to when I was mid twenties, boy I would listen to myself what I know now) your still in your prime, still got half a decade to explore and find yourself before the real 'no fuckin about' adult shit kicks in- even then it's still not to late- I still haven't grown up- I like to call it-"I'm young at heart". Anyway my point is- you've got the whole world ahead of you, we all have, plus I've got ya age- so look forward to to conquering your demons cos no matter how long it takes you will get there and learn for it (this shit we got... I like to think of it as one day will become a blessing in disguise).

js94

Date posted: 5y

Leelondon thank you for the advice and inspiration it means a lot. U make me want to stop drinking

Srberry

Date posted: 24w

Hello all!

Hello all, I just found out about this app! I’m pretty sure I have OCD, but also not sure. I’d line to discover more about to and hear what other experiences are.

L0ng16aelak

Date posted: 22w

Unsure if I even have OCD

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.

Emeee

Date posted: 19w

Just starting here

Im new here so im not exactly sure what im supposed to be doing but my therapist recommended that I start using this platform. I have had OCD my whole life as does my mom and her parents, but I never had a formal diagnosis until about 5 years ago. Recently my OCD has been absolutely taking over my life and it is just so mentally exhausting. I know there’s nothing “wrong” with me but I really wish that I just didn’t have OCD. I really just want to be able to exist without all of these obsessions. I’ve seen a few posts from people just talking about experiences so if anyone has any tips on how best to use the platform that would be great! On a funnier note - I’m pretty open about my OCD and I mention it to a coworker and there response was “Do you really have that or is that just something you say”. And my response was oh yeah no I really have it and it really impacts every minute of everyday in my life and they were just like 😶

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