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- 5y
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Welcome ✨ Feel free to share and we'll help whenever we can. Good luck ✌?
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Welcome ? it's nice to meet you Lee. I hope you find what you are looking for here
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I suffer from HOCD, harm OCD, and drink alcohol heavily to self medicate and give the thoughts less power over me ... how do u stop
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Hiya mate, if you're drinking daily and heavy first thing you must importantly do is safely either wean yourself off of the alcohol by slowly reducing or get the recommended medication off of your doctor to detox yourself properly (don't just suddenly stop). Then once sober, I find AA helps (surprising how many alcoholics/addicts understand and have OCD) Build a safe network of people who will support you, stay away from negative people even if you have to sack of some associates. Be around good people who understand. I will be hard but once sober you can really knuckle down to deal with your underlying issues. You will get there.
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Sorry my spelling mistakes... My mind runs faster than my typing so I miss words now and again- peace.
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Yeah. I used to party a lot and drink once or twice a week and since 1-2 years I drink literally 10 percent of what I was drinking last 10 years and my OCD is the worst ever
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Nice one for the msg 'Jamarceline'... How's things with yourself nowadays?
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@Lee1978 Pretty bad. I dont wanna drink all the time like before so I dont drink but this OCD is killing my soul my family thinks OCD is made up by modern people and I cant afford a therapist, I actually believe that even if I could afford a therapist he would be really bad with OCD cause the last one from insurance was lousy . When I drink 1- 2 beers i feel awesome my thoughts have normal speed but I can go tipsy all the time so I suffer:( . But sometimes I have better days or weeks . I think when I was drinking every weekend it was like a reset button to my brain so my OCD wasnt that bad back then .
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@Jamarceline I cant go tipsy *
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@Jamarceline Yea I hear you mate... I started drinking, raving, various mind altering substances and all that crap a good 18 years ago... Thought it was the answer, confidence to deal with that evil demon/demons in my head (biggest fears- my death or me causing people death by not completing a ritual properly- magic thinking I know), has ruled my life, jobs, relationships, everything and there's me drinking myself to death to escape my thoughts of death when in actual fact drinks 1 of the biggest killers (plus I knew it) absolutely stupid. We will get better... Slowly but surely and just try our best not to beat our selves up so much and give our selves a pat on the back now and again cos it ain't our fault how we turned out and our journey has not finished yet.
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@Lee1978 I hope we will get better ?. How old are you? And what ocd themes do you have ?
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@Jamarceline I'm 42 mate. My themes (I take it you mean what type of OCD I have) Well where do I start... The main thing is random horrific thoughts happening to anyone- wether close to me or a total stranger (and this is none stop all through the day even if I'm busy) I have to neutralise these dark thoughts with me thinking of something nice happening to them, winning the lottery of happyly getting married or whatever. BUT- I have to overcome the strength of these dark thoughts with my mad pointless ritual magic thinking a numerous amount of times to a safe number 3, 8, 11, 15, 21 etc and if I don't get it right- that 1 thought can wind up my whole day. And that's just 1 example... What about you?
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@Lee1978 What are your dark thoughts ? I have spiral of thoughts something like ' what ifs ' like dramatic thinking like something bad is going to happen. if you know what I mean ? . I have schizofrenia OCD - intrusive thoughts tells me I'm developing serious mental illness called schizofrenia, I had ROCD - its questioning your relationship all the time , hierarchy and symmetry all the time . Sometimes its better sometimes is terrible . I'm 26 yo
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Thanks leelondon, i have the medicine from my doctor just cant seem to start it, im still drinking tho. How long did u drink for ?
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I was dependent for just under 20 years, it's still early days in my attempt to stop this time round, failed staying on wagon a numerous amount of times, just gotta keep trying. So one told me once... "My mind is like a dangerous neighborhood- you don't wanna go in there on your own!!!" So instead of taking Alcohol in there with me I'm trying to get the right tools and information like off of here to take in there with me instead. I hope I made sense there lol.
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Ive been dependent for 9 years i really want to stop im 25 y.o , yes it made sense. What kind of OCD do u have
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Me- Uninvited dark intrusive thoughts unnecessarily invade my about bad things happening to people including myself, counting, symmetry, touching objects- causing the obvious ritual madness from a 3 second thing to waisting 3 hours getting something right, just for another bloody thought to pop in my mind after just a 3 min breather from the chaos... Horrid as I'm sure you know. Bro- even tho it must seem impossible and you can't see out of your bubble- just take it from an older my friend(I'm only 42 but if I could go back to when I was mid twenties, boy I would listen to myself what I know now) your still in your prime, still got half a decade to explore and find yourself before the real 'no fuckin about' adult shit kicks in- even then it's still not to late- I still haven't grown up- I like to call it-"I'm young at heart". Anyway my point is- you've got the whole world ahead of you, we all have, plus I've got ya age- so look forward to to conquering your demons cos no matter how long it takes you will get there and learn for it (this shit we got... I like to think of it as one day will become a blessing in disguise).
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Leelondon thank you for the advice and inspiration it means a lot. U make me want to stop drinking
Related posts
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- 25w
I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!
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- 24w
Hiii! This is my first post. I found NOCD through a tiktok ad that spoke to me. It was titled signs you didnt know were OCD or something like that, and one of the slides was “checking my pulse throughout the day to make sure i was okay”. This is something ive done for i dont even know how long. atleast 10 years, im 24 now. Ive always known Ive had OCD. Light Sanitation OCD runs in my family. But over the years ive started to realize i had way more than the “family trait”. Checking my pulse 40+ times a day is something i refer to as my “OCD tick”. Its to the point where people who dont know about my “tick” often ask if i am okay when they see me do it. Maybe this post is me putting it on paper for the first time so i myself can analyze but some other stuff i struggle with are: Often having thoughts of if i dont do A, B will happen. An example that is common for me is “if i dont refold this shirt me and my boyfriend will get into an argument” or if im out to dinner with a friend, “if i dont pick up this cup and place it back down, i will get into a car accident on the way home”. This is one i struggle with almost everyday, especially when im around people (work or outings). This compulsion happens multiple times a day. Now in my life i try to practice exposure therapy, even getting annoyed i feel the compulsion and think to myself “oh my god this is so stupid no!” but if i dont follow through i feel guilty. often when i get my next compulsion shortly after i tell myself “okay doing this will make up for not doing the previous one”. I definitely dont have a number based OCD, but i would have to pick up and put down the cup until it feels “right” or “correct”- same with checking my pulse. I have to check my pulse until the feeling is “just right”. With sanitation as i said before, i have a very clean and sanitary family, although mine is more severe than their feelings. I avoid touching certain surfaces after i have washed my hands, such as the front door knob, or living room tv remote, etc. If i need to touch or use these things, i have to immediately wash my hands again. Even if someone comes home and asks me to go and lock the front door ill often respond with “i cant i just washed my hands, if i lock the door ill have to rewash my hands”. thankfully my family is very understanding. I often feel like certain things are contaminated. For example when i come home i sanitize my phone immediately as it is contaminated from being outside of my house. I often have a feeling of something having to feel “just right”. If i go out to dinner i have to be the first to pick what seat or side of the booth im sitting on before the rest of my family sits down or i will feel anxious the whole dinner. Sometimes when im typing i have to back space and retype the same word over and over until i feel i typed it “just right”- even if i didnt make a typo. sometimes when i am driving and space out i often think “oh my god did i just hit someone” when there is no evidence that i have. it worries me. I think oh my god i mightve done a hit and run. But tell myself it can not be possible, theres no police chasing me, no honking, or anything. It is scary. this one is very rare. once in a blue moon i get a false memory. A main one ive felt since i was a kid is if someone or some object touches any part of my body, for example my left arm, i have to have them or atleast my self touch my right arm in the exact same way or i feel uneasy. this isnt with every single touch, but mainly when i feel triggered- although i never know what triggers a moment where i need the symmetry. I guess ive always known, i am very honest with my family, friends, and boyfriend about it. But i didnt start to realize how neurodivergent i was until asking some friends “you never randomly feel *insert compulsion*?” and they say never in their life have they felt like that. Im very self aware and have come to an acceptance with all these things, although it is debilitating. Periodically i think, wow it must be nice to not live life with these feelings but oh well. To be honest, downloading this app is the first step ive ever taken to find out more about OCD. Ive always kind of just been like “yeah i definitely have OCD but okay” more or less.
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- 19w
Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.
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