Hiya, I've just found this app... (not quite sure how it works or will even help at all, I bloody hope it does cos I've tried so many ways to live with this-here goes) I have suffered hard with unwanted thoughts, counting, repeat, repeat etc for over 25 years now and the majority of that I self medicated with Alcohol until my health is at risk from the juice. Now I am sober and f**k me- my OCD is at an all time high and it's horrible as u know. I wondered if anyone can relate to where I am at. Lee

Hiya mate, if you're drinking daily and heavy first thing you must importantly do is safely either wean yourself off of the alcohol by slowly reducing or get the recommended medication off of your doctor to detox yourself properly (don't just suddenly stop). Then once sober, I find AA helps (surprising how many alcoholics/addicts understand and have OCD) Build a safe network of people who will support you, stay away from negative people even if you have to sack of some associates. Be around good people who understand. I will be hard but once sober you can really knuckle down to deal with your underlying issues. You will get there.

Nice one for the msg 'Jamarceline'... How's things with yourself nowadays?

@Lee1978 Pretty bad. I dont wanna drink all the time like before so I dont drink but this OCD is killing my soul my family thinks OCD is made up by modern people and I cant afford a therapist, I actually believe that even if I could afford a therapist he would be really bad with OCD cause the last one from insurance was lousy . When I drink 1- 2 beers i feel awesome my thoughts have normal speed but I can go tipsy all the time so I suffer:( . But sometimes I have better days or weeks . I think when I was drinking every weekend it was like a reset button to my brain so my OCD wasnt that bad back then .

@Jamarceline I cant go tipsy *

@Jamarceline Yea I hear you mate... I started drinking, raving, various mind altering substances and all that crap a good 18 years ago... Thought it was the answer, confidence to deal with that evil demon/demons in my head (biggest fears- my death or me causing people death by not completing a ritual properly- magic thinking I know), has ruled my life, jobs, relationships, everything and there's me drinking myself to death to escape my thoughts of death when in actual fact drinks 1 of the biggest killers (plus I knew it) absolutely stupid. We will get better... Slowly but surely and just try our best not to beat our selves up so much and give our selves a pat on the back now and again cos it ain't our fault how we turned out and our journey has not finished yet.

@Lee1978 I hope we will get better ?. How old are you? And what ocd themes do you have ?

@Jamarceline I'm 42 mate. My themes (I take it you mean what type of OCD I have) Well where do I start... The main thing is random horrific thoughts happening to anyone- wether close to me or a total stranger (and this is none stop all through the day even if I'm busy) I have to neutralise these dark thoughts with me thinking of something nice happening to them, winning the lottery of happyly getting married or whatever. BUT- I have to overcome the strength of these dark thoughts with my mad pointless ritual magic thinking a numerous amount of times to a safe number 3, 8, 11, 15, 21 etc and if I don't get it right- that 1 thought can wind up my whole day. And that's just 1 example... What about you?

@Lee1978 What are your dark thoughts ? I have spiral of thoughts something like ' what ifs ' like dramatic thinking like something bad is going to happen. if you know what I mean ? . I have schizofrenia OCD - intrusive thoughts tells me I'm developing serious mental illness called schizofrenia, I had ROCD - its questioning your relationship all the time , hierarchy and symmetry all the time . Sometimes its better sometimes is terrible . I'm 26 yo