I woke up to a dream about people calling me crazy and that I needed to be locked up because they were scared of me for being dangerous. It really hurts even though it was just a dream. Unfortunately a lot of people associate sufferers of mental illnesses as crazy, dangerous people.

Thank you. I’ve been doing meditation and breathing exercises. I have had many different therapies in the past, ERP included but I regressed. So I know the work it takes to get through this and I just don’t have the strength to do so. It attacks and latches onto things that are important to you and it sucks. Even when I sleep it won’t release its grips. Which is why I don’t have much strength and energy to begin with because on s good night I’ll still wake up three times to do my rituals. Having the thought of trying the ERP alone makes my heart heavy.

I talk to people now and then but then I get tired. Both from having to explain and to feel like a burden with my issues and honestly that’s all I can talk about besides animal cruelty. I’m stuck in bed so I don’t have much social life.

I wish you the best. There’s always a way. ?

If you can say “I’m crazy”, then you’re not crazy. Crazy people can’t say that. Really crazy people think they are ok. IMHO.

People have said that to me when I said I’m crazy. I look crazy when I do my rituals. My OCD makes me crazy. I get crazy thoughts but what is crazy. Like doing things that are “off” and being okay with it? Then I’m crazy for doing my rituals. ?

Don’t label yourself. Love yourself instead and accept your condition. Maybe you have “crazy” thoughts. But the same engine that triggers those thoughts is surely triggering nice things on you. It’s not about you being crazy or not. It’s about you being you and trying to be the best version of yourself, getting better every day, with upside downs too. ?

I’m in a stall. Can’t go forward with anything. Everything is scary and I’m ruining this one person’s life. He’s all that I have and the only person to love and care for me unconditionally. I know what I need to do to fix it but I can’t.

What do you need to do to fix it?

I need to get out of bed and face my fears. But when you know what awaits you when you do the ERP is a fear of its own. So by the time I get the courage to get out of bed, I’m already exhausted. I can’t even shower without feeling nausea and panic attack coming over me.

Yeah, ERP is hard. But don’t give up. Give you some time. Don’t play hard to yourself. Try some meditation for some time. Write your feelings down. Make a list of what you want to accomplish (besides beating OCD). Slow down. One little step at a time.

You’ll find the strength. Be patient.

I’m getting old. I don’t have time to be patient. ?

So start today! Baby steps. You made some progress in the past so you definitely will have it now, again. Just go easy on you. ?

I was reading something and a thought popped up. I ignored it for a minute and now I can’t remember what that thought was. What if it was something important or an idea or something I needed to do. I don’t even know if it’s actually because I can’t remember things or my OCD. One of my fears is forgetting things. I feel so Discouraged.

Well, that happens a lot to everybody. And it’s very common to struggle with the idea that “hey, it was important!”. And most of the times, at least myself, if I can remember the idea, I realize it is nonsense or trivial. Do you get in touch with other people? Because I found that the more alone I am, the more obsessive (and self destructive) thoughts I have. When I talk to people I listen a lot of fears or ideas or thoughts from them that make me feel what we really are: normal. It’s just that maybe we struggle a little more with the ideas that come to our minds. Make an effort and try to feel more normal. Try to think that what happens to you is not abnormal; it’s just that you FEEL those things more intensely. Not because your ideas are crazy but because you experience them as such and from that moment those ideas become bigger and bigger. Well, not the ideas but your feeling about them.