So I'm kind of confused about something. Am I supposed to let my brain go off on its horrifying tangents and loops or am I supposed to find something to do and go on about my day? I stopped a few days ago and sat and thought and thought and thought until I had a panic attack that led me into an episode where I lost touch with reality and I'm not exaggerating. This was the worst I've experienced yet and didnt know it could get that bad. I feel like it's dangerous to let that happen again. This episode drained me so much that I wasn't able to function at work the next day and got sent home early against my own wishes. It almost happened again today, but I changed what I was doing and I was able to prevent it from turning into an avalanche.

*I am not a therapist! I have really bad OCD myself and have been in recovery of sorts for a couple years now and I write from taking from my own experiences* From what i know of OCD now, you kind of are supposed to embrace doing both simultaneously. Letting your mind go off on its tangents while being mindful it’s happening, but grounding yourself back in reality by doing another constructive activity. This is just one idea! Not at all the only answer — there are many for every invidual. What I mentioned above is a verrrry “long story short” way to explain the book Brain Lock. This book has changed my life and it’s made a huge difference in my own life with recovering from OCD. It is wonderful and I highly recommond it - it has a lot of information that goes over the question you posted about and many many other topics of OCD. There are also so many other amazing and informative and credible books about treatment and OCD that have also made a huge impact in my life (Everyday Mindfulness for OCD - one of my favs) Of course they do not take the place of seeing or consulting an actual therapist if that’s what somebody needs first, I just wanted to share! They are extraordinary. You can do this! Sending so much light your way ☀️ ??

At my worst point as a teenager I had an episode like that where I just embraced what it said like "this is my reality now" because I was worn down from the pain and panic of ruminating. It was traumatising and I made bad compulsive decisions in that headspace, I agree with you that it's bad to let it get to that point. I'd suggest therapy for what just happened actually, mine launched me into full blown PTSD. Well done on not going down that hole again today. It sounds blasé but my best suggestion for right now other than therapist-guided ERP (as it sounds quite severe) is a concept for pure O called a worry period. You literally give yourself a worry period, let's say half an hour each evening at a specific time, where you're allowed to worry. The rest of the time, you promise yourself that you'll worry, analyse and work on solving the problem and preventing the bad thing later, but not at this moment. It's saying to yourself that there will be an opportunity to worry, you're not going to forget about the fear or neglect what you feel you need to do. You'll do everything your brain says you need to do. But not right now. Right now, you're doing something else. Personally by the time my worry period comes around, my anxiety is almost always low enough that I no longer feel unsafe about the prospect of not doing my habit of ruminating. Delay delay delay. It works astonishingly well. Not only does it reclaim your time and prevent it from getting so deep and dark, it actually actively treats your OCD by teaching your brain that you can survive without acting on the anxiety which feels so urgent- it's response prevention. For me, it reduces the intensity of urges to do mental compulsions and even gradually decreases the frequency, severity and rapid pace of the intrusive thoughts. With the emotional space this method brings, you can end up in a much better position to be willing to do active ERP, to look at the fears more objectively and even decide that they really aren't as urgent, probable, disastrous or realistic as they felt.