Certainty just does not exist, it's a fantasy feeling. Needing certainty answers to your obsessions is just an OCD's wish. Don't give in to it. Embrace the unknown. Focus on the what-is, leave the what-if for what it is.

Soph

Date posted: 5y

It’s hard because your OCD makes you lose all sense of what-is , things you never would have doubted before; it’s hard to gain that clarity back

Brent Belgium

Date posted: 5y

That's right indeed. Jon Hershfield and Jonathan Grayson talk about the 'acceptance of uncertainty' in their books. The thing is that certainty does not exist. There's only such thing as a confident feeling. As I am having breakfast right now, I might say that the ceiling will not collapse on my head. But am I certain? No, the chances are very low, but I can not be absolute certain. The problem with OCD sufferers is that the learned compulsive behaviour depletes confidence. People with OCD don't take low chances for an answer, they want the 100% certainty. That's an impossible goal so the hunt for certainty is a painful one. Radical acceptance of the doubt that comes with OCD is essential. It's accepting that chances are low, but not zero. This is a scary statement indeed but it's a way of exposing yourself to the idea of a world where we can't really be certain of anything. In OCD recovery we have to make the choices that confident people make. I found the books 'overcoming harm ocd' from Jon Hershfield and 'freedom from obsessive-compulsive disorder' from Jonathan Grayson very powerful. They are not reassuring in any way but introduce you to a life where you're willing to accept the uncertainty of life. Accepting uncertainty doesn't mean that it's assuming the worst and then dwelling on it (Hershfield). This means that during recovery we learn to make confident choices. If you were a hit-and-run sufferer, a confident choice would be not looking in your rearview mirror to check if there's someone lying on the street.

St.Clair

Date posted: 5y

Thanks so much and the reference to books!

199903

Date posted: 5y

This is exactly what I was going to say! Brilliant concepts.

Heello

Date posted: 5y

Found this interesting, could you talk more about this?

St.Clair

Date posted: 5y

Definitely would like to hear more about certainty. Certainty of thoughts? Certainty of outcomes?

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

Of both. Since we don’t know everything 100% we have a problem with that because our OCD wants to have certainty on everything

St.Clair

Date posted: 5y

@takingmylifeback Trying to wrap my head around it.....

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

@St.Clair Like for example you have a thought about a past action and you are not sure of it and it is causing you distress so you have to think back on past actions to make sure you did not do anything wrong (this is also a form of compulsion) and you can’t get clarity on the actions but you need to know 100% what happened because you want to feel better about this thought but by going over the past you just start asking more “what if” questions. In this case you won’t ever know 100% what happened unless you go back in time which is not possible so you have to live with the uncertainty of not knowing. Another example can be that maybe right now you are scared you’re going to do something but your mind says “what if in the future I do it” so you distress about this thought with more “what If’s”. If you keep trying to predict the future for certainty you will fail because you don’t know what is going to happen in the future. OCD feeds into this because it wants full certainty of the outcomes and since you can’t have it it just keeps the cycle going with even more distress which is why you just have to accept that you will not know everything and that it is okay

St.Clair

Date posted: 5y

@takingmylifeback Thank you. Nice enlightenment. Balancing my head between future past and present is definitely an issue. Had never considered the anxiety of the past through the lens of uncertainty.

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

That was so long, sorry ^^

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