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- 5y
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- 5y
The fact that you have to call the feelings “false” leads me to believe there is a lot of compulsive analysis going on because this suggests an antithesis “real” feeling exists. You are compulsively analyzing the feeling and trying to filter it through a lens of “does this mean I’m gay or straight” or whatever orientation and analyzing. The more you try to be analyze and be certain, the more your brain thinks you’re not confident in your orientation and will keep sending these anxious feelings because you’re making them feel important. It’s better to let whatever feelings come up, come up and resist the mental analysis of “what does it mean that I had that feeling?” and trying to categorize it as “gay” “straight” or “bisexual” or whatever. It’s just data, and your interpretation of that data is a story you’re making up.
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- 5y
∆∆∆∆well said
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- 5y
I also have false feelings. I used to hate the thoughts that I had (I have rocd/hocd) and now I find myself having a somewhat good feeling from the imaginary scenarios I make up in my head, but then it makes me feel guilt and sadness I ruminate on for hours at a time because I love my boyfriend more than anything (we have been together for 4 years) and I have always been attracted to him, and now I’m having trouble with that because of these thoughts and feelings.
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What makes the feeling "false"?
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I don't even know my thing is that in the moment it genuinely feels like I enjoy so i try to ignore it for as long as possible and then end up doing a compulsion and finding out I don't like it or don't want to. But in the moment it feels so convincing it leads me to a compulsion. Don't even know if false feelings truly exist or im just looking for an excuse for my fear to be false when it is really well and maybe deep down I know it but don't want to admit it. At my wit's end at this point.
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@Lina Really true not really well*
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I think if you're feeling it, it's real
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Feelings change. That's expected
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie So you're saying that my feelings are true and my fear is true?
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@Lina Feelings being true doesn't mean the fear is true.
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie You had a feeling. ALL feelings are allowed. There are no unacceptable feelings
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie I guess I'm confused by what that means. Feelings of liking it doesn't mean I like it?
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@Lina What is wrong with liking something?
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie I'm saying liking it, whatever "it" is, is not a bad thing like your fear says it is
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie You liked it? Cool, that's ok. You didn't like it? Also fine. Your feelings flip-flop? Totally normal
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I didn’t know I was making it up, but I have read several people talking about false feelings. That’s why I thought it was a thing that people had experienced.
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I don't think it's a matter of making it up. You believed what you read. That's fine. It's just unfortunate that you read something that added to confusion instead of clarifying anything
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie People who have experienced ocd firsthand and from what I've seen on Instagram they describe false feelings and even say they happen. Even ocd recovery talks about it on his account.
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I’m just saying your interpretation of what ever is going on is playing into OCD territory. A lot of ppl use the term “false feelings” kind of like “pure o” as a way to identify and bond through symptoms but both terms are kinda misnomers, and wouldn’t be wise to use when you’re dealing with ocd. Anything you try to declare with a definitive statement, OCD will spin it and find evidence for the contrary. “Well that was a ‘false feeling’ but what if this one was ‘real’?” And so on. Or you try to celebrate not having any “false feelings” only for you to spike and spiral back down the rabbit hole Bc you’re telling your brain to always be on alert for “false feelings” vs “real feelings”. You beat ocd by not going into this battle of analysis for certainty and simply accept you had a feeling. This alerts the brain to dial back the intensity and importance of these “feelings”.
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@Lina I know they do. I think the need to label feelings or thoughts as "false" or "real" is a symptom of the disorder, not an accurate reflection of reality
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie Oh ok, thank you guys for clearing that up.
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@Lina The truth of the matter is if you knew 100% the feelings were “false”, why do you keep endlessly ruminating and analyzing them? You wouldn’t have HOCD/POCD or whatever theme generates these “feelings” you’d just ignore them, but for whatever reason you’ve decided to give them importance and told you’re brain they’re a threat to your identity. Bottom line, calling the feelings “false” is an inherent rejection of accepting uncertainty Bc you’re trying to be “certain” they’re false so you can protect your identity and tell yourself “I’m definitely straight” or “not a pedo”. This is nothing more than a compulsive mental ritual.
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- 5y
What do you do then with these thoughts? Just like ignore them, say they're just random thoughts and move on? To not ruminate on them obsessively etc?
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- 5y
This article should be helpful to you or anyone else who reads this thread and struggles with how to respond to the thoughts: https://www.ocdbaltimore.com/how-to-respond-to-unwanted-thoughts/
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
do u get a fear that after the intrusive feelings (false attraction) that you will Get romantic feelings after this all ends? because i do. especially bc i was hyperfixated on the guy in the past
- Date posted
- 22w
False attraction has been killing me ive had it for months with the same person. I have a boyfriend so having false attraction makes me feel so guilty. And lately theyve felt so real and ive been so anxious. What if I do like him bla bla. Ive only ever saw him as a brother and we have a good connection and he is one of my good friends but even sometimes when im having a conversation I feel like im cheating. Sometimes I get excited like oh yay he is gonna be here and then I get scared that it’s romantical because I get excited when he is around because he is a funny. Im so scared thats its real attraction because I love my boyfriend I would never do such a thing. And lately my minds done stuff like oh grab his attention stuff like that and it feels like I have done those actions but I dont want to. Sometimes when he is like idk sitting near Im like oh is he looking and my minds like oh do something to empress him bla bla. Recently he was going thought stuff and my boyfriend was there and I was I can give him a hug because I think he needs it but after I thought of it as bad because he is a guy and I had this false attraction what if I did it because I like him bla bla. I am freaking out idk why my mind makes me do compulsions that I have acted on like oh go talk to him and I do its weird urges that I do not want to do. I am scared that it will come true
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- 17w
why do i feel like im starting to like the false attraction? i don’t want to liek it and it normal makes me feel disgusting but sometimes i feel like i like it. please help
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