Hi Friends!My name is Raja Shanmugam.I am from India.I am suffering from OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) mixed type severe OCD with tricholottomania(Hair Pulling Disorder since 2012.Now my age is 24.I am suffering since I am 15.I suffered in silence with this also I have completed my graduation(Computer Science Engineering) passed in First Class with CGPA 8.0.After that I went to Job in IT there my OCD becomes very severe and I had panic attack daily. In workplace my obsession is to scold the HR Manager with bad words in whatsapp.I got anxious about this fake thought 24/7.The sleep was decreased.The compulsion i performed to overcome is I will be reading the managers three times each when i get that obsession of scolding the manager.The hair pulling disorder also increased.At the time my first month salary credited in my account then suddenly came the obsession that I am sending the money through paytm random strangers and I am emptying my bank account.The compulsion i performed during works I will count the payments apps like paytm,phonepe by looking into my phone during workhours each time when i get the obsession.Then finally i thought of finding the solution to this stupid disorder making the sufferer to suffer in silence.Its really a fucking disorder only the sufferer we knows its pain in daily life 24/7 fighting with our own mind.Then i resigned my job in IT.I paid rs:300 in practo consultation for psychiatrist and explained my problem in detail to him it was a online consultation because i think all of you know about the stupid stigma amoung people regarding mental illness.People will easily portrait and make fun by calling "Psycho", " Crazy" etc.Then the online doctor told me to visit the local psychiatrist doctor who is specialized in MD psychiatrist.Then after 10 years of suffering with this devil without knowing itself. First time i explained to my parents they were shocked and begin to cry loud and my mother fainted at that place since i am the only son for them they could not tolerate that I am suffering from Mental Illness. Then we visited the local psychiatrist in my district very kind doctor he appreaciated me saying that without knowing disorder itself he had completed his graduation in first class and he gifted me his favourite Parker Pen. Then he prescribed me the SSRI(Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) Flunil 60 mg after this i didnot sleep for 10 days i was admitted in his hospital he injected me lorazepam and clonazepam etc still nothing improved in my sleep. On the 11th day i woke up from my bed in hospital i pushed my parents and rushed to the doctor to take the private jet and go to the bangalore I am a car why i am here. The staff nurse and attenders were laughing at me i started to should loud and i started to talk nonsense irrelavant sentence to doctor. Then the doctor to my parents that my mind cannot tolerate SSRI and your son has a Mania Switch which is a condition of Bipolar Affective Disorder then doctor tied my hand and injected 10 mg lorazepan liquid form in the deltoid area arm. The doctor told my parents to take me to the NIMHANS Hospital Bangalore Asia's best Neuropsychiatric hospital. I was taken in my car with hands tied . Then NIMHANs started medication (Antipsychotics and Mood Stabilizer) For Bipolar Affective disorder i was in Mania for ten days after that my sleep improved my OCD is still at the same i stayed at NIMHANS for 55 days they gave Cognitive Behavioural therapy for hair pulling Tricholottomania and ERP(Exposure Response Therapy) for OCD. They prescribed also SSRI but in my case its been switched to Bipolar disorder so i have to take both. Then we shifted from our own house to city outerside villa since i am getting frequent panic attacks. We did not even inform to our relatives anybody due to that stupid stigma around the society and I have no friends also all my friends in my college days separated me after seeing the little little compulsions and hair pulling behavious. I am a single person in my family fighting with this mind fucking disorder 24/7.Friends my kind advice is Be Strong dont consider others they dont what we are suffering . Take medication regularly dont miss. Do yoga by simply closing eyes for half an hour. You all are my Friends. Stay Strong Stay Happy. If you want to connect with me in whatsapps means my whatsapp number:+91-8608657313.Thank You friends.