Can someone please help me and tell me what this means. I’ve been in my relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. This year I experienced hocd and started to work on recovery and I’m getting better and thoughts hardly come. I don’t know what is happening but I feel some odd feeling, I am so in love with my boyfriend and I wanna stay with him forever but I am scared what if I stop loving him and loose feelings? Sometimes Our conversations aren’t as exiting as before but that’s normal in a relationship however it’s causing me anxiety as I think what if I don’t love him. Or I’ll ruin the relationship? It’s all my fault. He dosent know I have ocd. My problems are Scared of loosing feelings Not feeling motivated or as exited to text him I love him I know I do but I don’t know why I feel like this

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

Oh can you give me some advice on how to deal with HOCD i also have a boyfriend and have been with him for over a year but these thoughts are so debilitating. As for the ROCD I completely understand because I have the thoughts as well and what helped me incredibly was “awaken into love” YouTube videos. I recommend them so so much and it goes over everything. Basically you are going to fall in and out of love with your partner. You can’t base love off of feelings because feelings come and go. It is a commitment and a choice you make to love your boyfriend and be with him!!

xomiamillsxo

Date posted: 5y

Does everyone experience falling in and out of love? Is that normal that really scares me I just wanna be in love every single day and not feel this pain! I got hocd in October it’s been 6 months and I have recovered 90% I watched Ali greymond videos on YouTube they’re not about hocd however they help u with techniques how to deal with them. When I got a thought I accepted it at first it was really hard but I forced myself to believe it and said “yeh that’s true ok I am gay” it scared me at first but I got used to it. Secondly I watched all Ali greymond videos she helped me a lot. I didn’t tell my boyfriend about this I can’t tell anyone. So it’s been hard and now I’m getting setbacks and the theme has changed to rocd and I’m new to it and I’m scared whether I really am falling out of love or if it’s rocd

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

Okay I am going to try that thank you!! And yes it’s normal to fall in and out of love it’s more of the choice and the commitment that matter more than anything. Definitely watch those videos they helped me soooo much and she also has a course online which has helped me even more it’s so crazy it’s only like $35 a month and it’s a community with people that have ROCD and HOCD

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

It’s unrealistic to only feel love and never pain every single day. You have to stop expecting things to be perfect or trying to control/prevent your feelings. Feelings ebb and flow. Let them happen. What you feel today you may not feel tomorrow. When a fear pops up say “maybe I won’t always feel in love. Or maybe I will. I don’t know and can’t know for sure. And I don’t need to.” And just let the feelings happen and pass naturally. When a feeling scares you, remember “feelings are not facts.” You choose the life you want to live. You do not have to be a slave to your emotions. But you should allow them to exist and accept that they are happening without trying to push them away, control them, or diminish them with compulsions.

xomiamillsxo

Date posted: 5y

I haven’t told my mam about hocd or rocd I just can’t tell anyone I need therapy I know I do I’m just scared. I’m so exhausted I’m from the uk and we’re on lockdown still so won’t be seeing a therapist anytime soon. Also I’ve just argued with my boyfriend I told him that our conversation aren’t as exiting as before and that I’m blaming him for it when really it’s me, and I told him that I don’t feel close to him. I’ve just hurt him I feel so bad but he can’t know I have rocd I’m so embarrassed. I love him a lot Idk why I feel confused

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

You don’t need to tell your mom about your specific themes. You don’t need to say anything about HOCD or ROCD or your individual thoughts and fears. Just explain that you’ve been struggling for awhile, done some research, and you’d like to speak with an OCD specialist to either confirm or rule out OCD. And to get treatment that works specifically for your issues. You can always tell her you’d rather not go into details about anything right now and ask for her to respect your privacy, while promising that you’ll share more when you’re ready.

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

Also: you may want to stop sharing your ocd fears with your boyfriend right now. I know that’s difficult, but without getting treatment and understanding how to communicate these things effectively, you’re only hurting him.

xomiamillsxo

Date posted: 5y

I know you right, thank you I jus don’t want to hurt my boyfriend i was unsure at the time if it was rocd or not as I genuinely thought I’m loosing feelings but I find myself still saying to him “I love you” and I get mood swings and phases were I think omg I miss him and then when we’re texting I get a thought like “ this isn’t how it used to be, he isn’t interested, your not as excited as before to message” it’s so annoying

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

I feel like if you’re ready to tell him about this maybe you should. Whatever you think it’s best because maybe he feels like it’s his fault when in reality it’s not and it’s not your fault either it’s something you’re dealing with that you can overcome. Maybe he will give you the support you need too

xomiamillsxo

Date posted: 5y

I’ve suffered from hocd too and now I’m getting thoughts like ur gunna loose feelings for ur boyfriend and start liking the same sex omg I can’t deal with this anymore ? it’s scaring me

takingmylife...

Date posted: 5y

Just tackle it like you did before. You got this and you’re not alone

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