Does anyone do this when seeking reassurance or confessing? That is my main means of relief from OCD, and only with my partner...which I'm trying to break free from but its SO HARD. Anyways, its as though when I need to confess something I have to plead guilty to the worst possible case scenario even though it may not be true 'just in case' it could be true. For example, now I'm stuck on if a sexually intrusive thought was thought of on purpose versus was from ocd. My partner's reaction once to thoughts of this topic was...you were fantasizing?!? And of course my reaction was NO it's not like that! But now that I'm stuck on whether a thought was from me or ocd of course my brain jumps to...Was that fantasizing? Should you tell her? It was fantasizing. You should tell her. That's cheating. She's gonna leave. Your a liar. Etc etc. So now of course I want to tell her what I think I did (but did I actually?) but I am also hesitant that it's a compulsion. Again, am I digging my own grave here? The guilt is so rough.

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

I've done exactly that, confessing to what OCD says, with interpretations as the worst case scenario even when I know it's not true. It tends to be partly a need to confess because confession feels good even if it's inaccurate, and partly using it as an opportunity to test the thoughts/worst interpretations by seeing whether they feel true when I say them. I feel like a liar if I don't give the worst possible scenario. The guilt is really awful. But I really urge you not to act on those compulsions because it really can cause problems. Since I did that, I've had to deal with the fallout of having actually said untrue unfair stuff about myself, which if anything feels even more scary than the original OCD. It's for sure a compulsion. Have you tried doing ERP about it?

marie22

Date posted: 5y

Yes I completely agree. It's so hard! And gets to a point where you don't know what is real versus what is ocd so it feels safer to confess. The what ifs and oh I remember this though are tortuous. I actually just started ERP last month, we really only started assignments last week. So far I've held out 11 days without confessing and that is a while...I do find the anxiety going down or maybe just not as impactful, but then there are moments where it just hits you all over again. But at the same time, it never ends in that there is always something to confess...so part of me also knows I just need to stop. Thank you so much for your post. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I just gotta stay strong.

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

Confession is definitely a compulsion. If you’re struggling with whether or not something is a compulsion, ask yourself: is the need to confess urgent and out of nowhere? Our compulsions tend to provide immediate relief for intrusive thoughts. If it feels impossible to resist confessing: it’s a compulsion. If you can reasonably wait to confess (give it a week!) and after waiting it feels necessary but not urgent, you may have something more real to own up to.

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

While you’re sitting through the waiting period, you should also be able to stop obsessing. You should be able to live your life and think about others things. If the entire time all you’re thinking about is your “lie” and “need to confess,” it’s a compulsion.

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