Hello, this is not ocd related but more about anxiety and feeling. I have trouble dealing with memories and nostalgia. Like about someone I will probably never see again, an apartment I will never visit again, times and memories which are gone forever. This kind of hurt my stomach, I feel anxious and sad when I get triggered. Does someone feel this way too ?

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

A lot of people with OCD struggle with this (I know I do!) and I think it’s why we also see issues of hoarding with OCD (it’s hard to let go of the past.) It’s okay to miss things and people and places. The problem starts when we begin ruminating about that to the point that we’re generating more pain for ourselves than if we’d just let that initial pang of nostalgia exist and then leave on its own. When you catch yourself in thought about these things, practice a little mindfulness: notice when you’re falling into rumination. Notice when you’re obsessing. And rather than continuing that route, show gratitude for that time/person/thing, and just let the feeling be there without continuing to ruminate on things like what was lost or your inability to return to it or fearing you’ll never recapture something etc. These ruminations are our brains way of trying to control something that’s out of our control: time passes. And that’s okay. Accept that idea and accept that sometimes it’s painful. And then refocus on the present moment.

bebrave❤️

Date posted: 5y

thanks a lot ??I have tears reading your text! I feel you get it. This is just so hard to let it go and accept the « never » part I would like to understand how people without ocd are dealing with nostalgia and past, I don’t know if you understand what I mean. Like if I feel extremely sad about a memorie with someone and keep ruminating it, how does this other person perceive the event? Maybe my overthinking completely modified my memories, and accord to much importance to past whereas this person don’t even care about it. And I can think about it for month and this person won’t even think about it a minute

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

@bebrave❤️ We all perceive moments from our own point of view, which means what we’re going through at the time, how we internalize it, and how it plays into our own personal narrative in the long term all shape how we feel about that moment. If a moment was important to you, then it’s important. The other person doesn’t have to feel the exact same way about the exact same moment. And if you are important to one another, I bet they have memories of you that they cherish that you don’t think of as important too! We find importance and meaning in our relationships with one another in the same moments and in different ones. And all of those moments are special.

Endinsight

Date posted: 5y

Yes I feel this sense of sadness too, and sensitivity to loss. Memory loss is part of my OCD. But I have to understand it's part of life. Easier said than done perhaps, but true.

bebrave❤️

Date posted: 5y

Yes this is so true ! Thanks you both for your helpful answer??

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