It's not a feeling of being unsure. It's a feeling of being sure and being horrified about it. I don't think I have OCD.

I'm just scared that I'm not attracted to men anymore and it feels so true. I hate it. It feels real until I am attracted to a man and then I'm like oh ok it's not true and then literally right after it feels true again. Like without a doubt true even though it obviously isn't. Or is it? I dont know! I could be making my attraction to boys up! I know I'm bisexual or atleast attracted to women. I don't like it, but it's not really what my OCD is about although it definitely aggravates it. See I dont have any sexual interest in women, I dont want to be with a woman, but I'm physically attracted to them I think more so than men sometimes. This is so confusing!

I really wish I was just straight, or if it's all OCD then I wish I was free from that too. Idk. It always makes me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing no matter what.

@hateocd123 My brain does this weird thing where it feels like I'm ignoring my attraction to men because it wants to prove the OCD right. Like I could see a hot guy and really like him and my brain will go ah that doesn't count though.

@hateocd123 But you literally just said it yourself you don't have sexual interest or want to be with a women. You can admire a women's beauty but not want to be with them. The problem is ocd wants to scare us. Because you care about your sexuality it attacks it cuz it knows it bothers you. Because you give it so much attention the ocd gets worse and worse.

@Lina That's insightful of you Lina!

@Lina Yes, that's a conscious decision though. I dont want to be with a woman because it would be a difficult life with drama that I don't want to be involved with, I'm definitely sexually attracted to women.

@hateocd123 "it would be a difficult life with drama that I don't want to be involved in" Is this referring to worry about your family's response?

@hateocd123 Like you know without a doubt you are? Or you're just sick of ocd saying you are and you're giving in to its demands?

@Scoggy My brother is gay. No, I'm not worried about my family's response nor anyone else's.

@Lina Idk anymore. I didn't think I was before this.

@Scoggy My family knows everything anyway. I've told them all of my concerns.

@hateocd123 Oh! I'm wondering where the idea that being gay is a difficult life with drama you don't want to be involved in comes from? You think that... Lesbians are dramatic?

@Scoggy No, it's not that. I have no problem with lesbians. The drama I'm referring to is essentially what I'm already dealing with. Why would I want to add more people into the mix? That would be using them to try to confirm an obsession. I don't like hookups. I don't like the emotional drama that comes with fooling around with ANYONE. I dont appreciate you being so accusatory as if you're trying to get to the bottom of me saying something wrong or something. I'm in a relationship that I like being in. I'm trying to figure out how to cope with everything like everyone else on here. Please leave me alone.

@hateocd123 What? I'm not being accusatory, I'm trying to understand. You said "I dont want to be with a woman because it would be a difficult life with drama that I don't want to be involved with". I got no indication whatsoever from the context in the conversation that you were referring to the idea of "using them to try to confirm an obsession", whatever that means. You said you're definitely sexually attracted to them but that you wouldn't want to be with one. You could have simply said that you don't want to be with anyone because you think it brings emotional drama, rather than specifically women? I'm also not sure how that statement meshes with you saying you're in a relationship- relationships are emotionally dramatic, but you're in one?

@hateocd123 Ohh wait I see, when you were saying you don't want to be with a woman you were talking about the idea of up and leaving your relationship and just having sexual hookups with women for the sake of your OCD lol. I don't think that's what Lina was referring to, and you didn't say at all that that's what you meant. You can make the conscious decision not to do that, and not to get into a relationship with a woman either, even if you're attracted to them. Your life is yours to choose in.