- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
For me it’s a fear that I’ll never feel confident in my sexuality like I used to and will have to deliberate and be unsure for the rest of my life. It’s this irrational need to know that I’m 100% straight because the thought of fancying girls just makes me feel uncomfortable. At one point I tried accepting ‘ok maybe I’m bisexual’, but it just didn’t sit right with me which fuelled more and more rumination and obsession. OCD is the doubting disease and it just makes you want to search for certainty in your identity. It’s strange cause I used to have no fear of being gay or bi or anything but I was just confident I was straight, that’s what I wish I could go back to.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep the fear is very tough because in some cases you are alreadybinna relationship. In my case I'm married & that's difficult because you live in a world of "am I just lying to myself all these years" "what am I going to do?". Then follows the guilt, like you are hiding this secret. The denial? Is it real? Is it not? That's the trouble for those in relationships & are living this theme of OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
Just saying normally with ocd thoughts I can understand why the thought might be scary but not that one.
- Date posted
- 5y
I can imagine that being bisexual does do something. I think this has some merit as bisexual men are known to have a very challenging time with mental health problems more so than gay or straight people. It is the fear of being not gay or straight but both can be hard to define for people. Additionally, the stigma that is what it feels it.
- Date posted
- 5y
I struggled with this theme for a second. Basically, I was afraid that I was lying to myself by saying I was straight. I felt like I was denying some part of me. Additionally, I was afraid that claiming that I was bisexual would somehow undermined the community because I wasn’t sure. I felt I didn’t deserve to call myself bisexual. I also didn’t want to tell people only to figure out later that I was wrong and seem like someone going through a phase. I basically felt like I was lying to myself with any label I would claim. Nothing felt like the whole truth and it was confusing. It all felt like lies. There is a bit more to it than that, but that’s the idea of what I went through. I ended up just saying I was “heteroflexible.” It feels like the truth enough for me not to ask “what if I’m wrong” but others may not feel that way. You also have to think about how religious OCD could play a part for someone with this theme, or someone who’s family wouldn’t be open to bisexuality. Not my case, but could be someone’s
- Date posted
- 5y
Sorry if there are typos
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep.and another part of it is I used to have gay work colleagues & school pals & never ever thought anything about it. But now that's what some one just mentioned its losing all your confidence of the person you once were!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 16w
Think logically. Literally. Take me as an example. I have hocd and my obsession is “what if I’m gay”. I’ve liked girls my whole life, I can still get aroused by them and I can’t get the same instinctive reaction from a guy. So I can’t be gay. Sometimes ocd will go to something else once you prove it wrong. Maybe like. “What if I’m bi” again I can only get aroused by girls. Sometimes when I’m not thinking about it I can even get aroused when sitting next to a girl or when I’m sitting next to one or even when I’m touching one in a non sexual way. Something that never happens or has happened with a guy in my life. Don’t start panicking. Just “realise” who you are and who you’ve been.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5w
If you truly aren''t homophobic you wouldn't be afraid of being gay unless in very specific cases of bisexual cycling, what is the difference?
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