I’m not trying to be mean or anything just genuinely curious for those who have HOCD and are afraid they might be bisexual...couldn’t you just continue to live as a straight person I’m not sure where the fear comes from...being worried you might be gay makes sense because that would actually change your life but being bisexual doesn’t do anything. Sorry if I’m coming off as insensitive but can someone explain this

For me it’s a fear that I’ll never feel confident in my sexuality like I used to and will have to deliberate and be unsure for the rest of my life. It’s this irrational need to know that I’m 100% straight because the thought of fancying girls just makes me feel uncomfortable. At one point I tried accepting ‘ok maybe I’m bisexual’, but it just didn’t sit right with me which fuelled more and more rumination and obsession. OCD is the doubting disease and it just makes you want to search for certainty in your identity. It’s strange cause I used to have no fear of being gay or bi or anything but I was just confident I was straight, that’s what I wish I could go back to.

Yep the fear is very tough because in some cases you are alreadybinna relationship. In my case I'm married & that's difficult because you live in a world of "am I just lying to myself all these years" "what am I going to do?". Then follows the guilt, like you are hiding this secret. The denial? Is it real? Is it not? That's the trouble for those in relationships & are living this theme of OCD.

Just saying normally with ocd thoughts I can understand why the thought might be scary but not that one.

I can imagine that being bisexual does do something. I think this has some merit as bisexual men are known to have a very challenging time with mental health problems more so than gay or straight people. It is the fear of being not gay or straight but both can be hard to define for people. Additionally, the stigma that is what it feels it.

I struggled with this theme for a second. Basically, I was afraid that I was lying to myself by saying I was straight. I felt like I was denying some part of me. Additionally, I was afraid that claiming that I was bisexual would somehow undermined the community because I wasn’t sure. I felt I didn’t deserve to call myself bisexual. I also didn’t want to tell people only to figure out later that I was wrong and seem like someone going through a phase. I basically felt like I was lying to myself with any label I would claim. Nothing felt like the whole truth and it was confusing. It all felt like lies. There is a bit more to it than that, but that’s the idea of what I went through. I ended up just saying I was “heteroflexible.” It feels like the truth enough for me not to ask “what if I’m wrong” but others may not feel that way. You also have to think about how religious OCD could play a part for someone with this theme, or someone who’s family wouldn’t be open to bisexuality. Not my case, but could be someone’s

Sorry if there are typos

Yep.and another part of it is I used to have gay work colleagues & school pals & never ever thought anything about it. But now that's what some one just mentioned its losing all your confidence of the person you once were!