Anyone have any tips or advice about bad guilt/anxiety/worry after a potentially very bad car accident? That would have semi been your fault. I was driving back to my university from my house which is about a 3 hour drive. I’ve noticed in the past that when I make this drive, I start accelerating on the open roads without even noticing. I’ll reach 70,80,90 even 100mph without realizing and then eventually look down and start decreasing my speed again. I stay in the left lane (so it’s deemed a little more appropriate to go fast), but in this situation, two cars were stopping to pull over to the side and a truck that was behind them got into my lane, and pretty much stopped. I braked as hard as I could, and literally saw myself almost slamming into the back of his truck, until I swerved onto the shoulder to pass him. Barely missing. I went into fight or flight mode and pretty much stayed calm the entire time- luckily. Another car that was behind me caught up to me and I could see him trying to get my attention, but I felt like he was going to cuss me out so I avoided eye contact. I knew I was going way too fast. I’m trying to just use this as a learning moment to be more aware of my speed on open roads like this, but I just feel really really sick about what could have happened. Sigh:/

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

Seems like you have felt a strong urge to confess in detail and try to get reassurance that you didn't do the wrong thing/make a huge mistake/that it wasn't your fault/that it was okay/that it's not as shameful as it feels. Usually when something bad or scary happens or we make a mistake, we are able to feel those emotions for a while and then move on. I wonder whether instead of really letting yourself actually feel those feelings fully until they're gone, you're finding them so uncomfortable or deciding that they're evidence for a negative belief about yourself, that you're using compulsions like rumination, woulda-shoulda-coulda and confessing/asking for comfort to try to escape the feelings via getting momentary reassurance. The best way to stop this issue from bugging you all the time and giving you the same feelings over and over and making you feel like something needs to be solved or confessed, is to let yourself feel the feelings without doing any of the compulsions. Even if you intellectually know that the emotions are unreasonable or you find them annoying. You need to feel them all without getting into your head and debating the issue.

leham

Date posted: 5y

I think you’re totally right. It’s such an intense feeling, ‘uncomfortable’ feels like a euphemism, but it’s all the same- I’m seeking to be reassured from it. It’s actually so interesting that you mention I might be using this for ‘evidence for a negative belief’ about myself- which is so true too!! That’s why I’ll convince myself that I’m going in on myself, too hard, and the ‘average’, less self-loathing person, would be able to forgive themselves faster. Even if that is true, that doesn’t necessarily mean I need to stop feeling what I’m feeling, but maybe simply stop using it to confirm any negative self images (which doesn’t help anyone). So basically I just have to ride out how terrible it makes me feel until it doesn’t anymore. Sounds familiar haha. Thank you for your reply☺️❤️

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