Sucks when ocd and trauma leaks into your dreams. I had a bunch of weird nightmares and such the last day. And I’ve mainly slept all day and most of the night (it’s 1 am now I just woke up again) different nightmares about my dog that passed away, his cancer, and then one nightmare dealt with my fear of sharp objects in the body and holes in the body.. and then one dealt with my sexual intrusive thoughts and family which made me feel gross. I’m always having nightmares and have been more than not for years. Dunno why I’m not used to them by now. And I’m still anxious because of guilt so I’m just kinda like lying here wanting to isolate myself from everyone and trying not to. I’ve been feeling guilt for 3 days now like... I said last year I almost said I was 17 to do a reading program (I just wanted to do a reading program I miss childhood a lot) and my friend said something but later apologized but it set me off. Funny thing is I didn’t think about it at all until the other day. Not once has it been on my brain until the other day. Now I’m obsessing about it like crazy. I don’t get it. Ughhh i don’t mean harm and didn’t mean harm. Most of last year I was obsessed with my health and my fear of dying and then my best friend leaving me. So not once did that cross my mind at ALL. I completely forgot about it and now it won’t leave me alone.