I’m new to this app and just wanted to share my story. As a young girl I definitely had compulsions. My mom always told me she would take me to a psychiatrist (I would cry when people sat on my bed). Anyways, as I got older I definitely grew out of a lot of things. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD but I have GAD. I know I definitely have OCD because I have done a lot of research. Recently I have really, really been struggling with HOCD. I’ve never experienced this before, and that’s why it’s making it more scary. I’m a young adult woman and have been in a very serious relationship with a male for many years. I love him so much. I am also very athletic and not very girly. I always loved the fact that I was a guys gal, but lately it has made me super insecure. A lot of people at school assume I’m bisexual because I’m super pro LGBTQ rights and idk? Idk why I give off that “vibe”. It never bothered me, I always thought it was funny, and I have no issue with being gay, but I’m definitely not?! During this quarantine my guy friends have said I have way way more guy friends than girl friends, someone asked my teammate if I was bisexual, and I have never had an orgasm from my boyfriend. It started really getting in my head and I keep being like “am I gay and that’s why I don’t orgasm”. This seems so pathetic and writing this actually helps and makes me realize there is no way I like women. But anyways THE THOUGHTS DO NOT STOP. I keep worrying that I do not know myself, and maybe I don’t love my bf, and maybe other people see something I don’t. Anyways, how can I help myself? I am noticing I’m reassuring and checking and starting compulsions

Thoughts are not facts. I don’t think you having more guy friends than girl friends make you gay. I feel like that is just stereotype. Like the stereotype where a gay male would have more girl friends than guys. No no no. When it comes to this type of OCD, you gotta stop thinking about the stereotypes of people in the LBGT community. You have more guy friends doesn’t mean anything other than you probably get along well with guys. The orgasm part, idk. But that also doesn’t mean you have a different sexuality ??‍♀️ Idk I don’t suffer from this type of OCD, so I’m sorry if I said anything offensive. But I hope I helped:)

Hey there, I also suffer with hocd and stereotypes are the worst. Thing is hocd is going to try to latch onto any thing any event whatsoever and call it proof. OCD is ego dystonic which means it was against who you are as a person, it goes against your beliefs. so it becomes a battle between OCD finding evidence to prove that you are gay and you trying to find evidence that you are cuz you know that you're not so that the OCD will shut up. Ultimately it's about learning to live without having to proove anything. OCD makes it so that we value other people's opinions and let them get in her heads we're really worried about the perception that others have of us, that's why other people's opinions about your sexuality worry so much. About orgasms, the female orgasm is very complicated and it requires the right amount of stimulation and time. Woman is different so you and your boyfriend are just going to have to work that it and you'll eventually get there, it takes a while and it's not an easy road to navigate because we are all different but there's nothing wrong with you for not being like the girls on TV because it's entirely fake. The best thing you can do is to look for a therapist do diagnose you & start erp, I'm currently giving you reassurance which is not ideal for us because it's proof. But a little bit of reassurance in the beginning is great to kick start a relationship with a therapist. Honestly I wish I would have gone sooner before I would have come up with so many obsessions and compulsions so I congratulate you and being so proactive. Sending all the best energy, you are so strong and you are worth fighting for. I wish you the best!

I has the same thoughts as you. I supported LGBT but never really cared about it a lot. I was also uncomfortable from the moment I started supporting them for some reason. I never liked gay shippings though I supported them and I was afraid I'll become gay since I watched lesbian porn. I've always internally had hocd and just realized in august. I also fear I won't get an orgasm from a guy and it's dreadful ?

Hi, I'm a lesbian with no guy friends. Only girl friends. I'm pretty girly, too. Now, I think stereotypes suck for everyone, and I hate the ones set for the lgbt community, but I actually suggest that you go more into these unwanted thoughts. Accept that maybe you are gay. Acceptance is the key. Dont push away the thoughts, think of them, observe them, but dont ruminate.