tw: eating disorders, trichotillomania, fatphobia my best friend triggers me easily like it's more about my eating disorder than about ocd but she's so beautiful and y'all know she's trying to make jokes about herself but they are very triggering like 2 days ago we were watching a movie and there was a girl who was fat and my friend said "ugh I'm so glad I could take control over my eating habits so I don't look like her" and I'm like WTFFFFF it hurts so much cause I see myself having a big body and her words hurt me so much also she makes jokes about calories food and exercising and it triggers me so much and stressing makes me pull ouout my hear idk she's just a little selfish when it comes to her?? she usually pushes other people down for their voice or their drawing/singing skills and I hate it but she doesn't say it to themselves, just shares with me and I don't support her in this case I'm just like "hmmm okay" I love her and she supports me but I can't ask her to stop cause she wants to talk with me about things which bother her and it's okay I'm just too sensitive??? idk

Well yeah she sounds like she's incredibly full of herself, talks shit about others behind their backs and thinks she is superior. You have ever right to set boundaries on behaviour you're ok with being around, and you have to be willing to enforce it. You can say "I don't like being around you when you insult other people behind their backs, it makes me uncomfortable, I think it's immoral and I don't want to be complicit". You can also say "please don't make fun of fat people around me, I have an eating disorder". If she calls you too sensitive and won't stop doing it around you, don't be around her. That's a toxic friend. Being around people who behave like that can badly damage your self esteem and make you feel guilty. Tell her you want to be her friend but you have boundaries of what you're ok with listening to. If she agrees to stop saying it, but then she keeps saying it anyway and makes excuses for herself or claims you're being too sensitive and it's just a joke etc, walk away from her. You teach people how to treat you in life. If all the time you spend with this person is full of her behaving this way and you don't know what you'd even talk about/what her personality would be like if she stopped doing this, then that's an early warning sign that she's a toxic personality. You don't have to hate her in order to set boundaries. You don't have to talk bad about her to your other friends. It's not mean to set boundaries.