NSFW WARNING!!! Hey this isn't a reassurance thing, more of a general curiousity thing. People with sexual taboo OCDs - We've all been there where we're masturbating and all of a sudden a gross image pops up (maybe of a relative you're scared of being attracted to, a pet, someone of the same/ opposite sex or the worst of them all - a child). Gross shit I know but we keep it real here because we have to live with this shit. My question is - when the gross thought or image or whatever pops up, what do y'all do? I usually hit the brakes HARDDD and stop dead in my tracks like "ok listen i dont wanna see this gross shit ok? Can I have this please?" and I kind of readjust and then I keep going at it. It doesn't trigger me nearly as much cuz I'm post therapy and it's more of a "not this shit again" type thing than a "OH GOD MY LIFE IS OVER" type thing like it used to be. I don't wanna keep going at it because a. that's gross and fucked up, b. I don't want it to turn into a "checking if i can get aroused" type of compulsion because that's just horrifying and c. THAT'S GROSS AND FUCKED UP! Is pausing and readjusting a compulsion? Should I just keep going at it with gross intrusive images fresh in my cranium? That shit's scary, I dunno if I can. I'd love to hear y'alls thoughts!

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

Well, I used to either quit or check. And yeah when the thoughts are still there, continuing to masturbate can leave you questioning whether you were masturbating to the thoughts or judging yourself about the fact that the thoughts weren't enough to make you stop. Therefore you were ok with them etc etc. Kenzzz is probably right about what you SHOULD do, which is to go back to the original thoughts and continue doing what you were doing, just like non OCD people who get instrusive thoughts during sex (yes it happens to everybody). The issue with us anxious bunnies is the then freaking out about what the fact that we continued MEANS about our relationship to the thoughts. The reality is that it doesn't mean anything, we look for a meaning because we have made the thoughts meaningful in the first place by being so opposed to them. The answer is to go back to the initial thoughts, finish the job, and then refuse to ruminate about what it means, no matter how anxious or guilty it makes you feel. For me, staying with those feelings of anxiety and guilt in my physical body without doing any thinking about the issue or checking or going over my memory to reassure myself that I wasn't turned on by the thoughts etc, helped a LOT. No compulsions at all, just let the feelings happen until they've gone away (they will go away!!), and then continue to act like a normal non OCD person and not investigate the thoughts or dwell on the topic. Refuse all urges to think about it. Tell them "maybe later". Cope through any anxiety and guilt and unsteadiness it causes. Refuse to follow any thoughts or doubts or memories or new angles it throws at you. This is the only way I'm aware of to treat OCD, and it worked for my sexual taboo OCD, which is 99.9% gone now. I only say not 100% gone because I still get intrusive thoughts and reminders of the theme occasionally, I just refuse to dwell on them. I sure as hell don't need to know, I'm going to continue to live my life and not act on any taboo thoughts and that's that. I've lost all faith in the idea that there can be a "type of person" and that I need to make sure I'm not one of them. It's just not realistic.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I'm thankful for all the advice but I already kinda know all of this (I'm post-therapy, nice to meet you). I just wanted to ask whether taking a step back was compulsion-ish or if it was the right thing to do because I come to a screetching halt and I dont really wanna continue if shit starts to pop up cuz I'd freak out and my symptoms would get worse. I don't dwell on it neither do I have anxiety after, it's more of a me being curious if i'm the only one who pauses for a sec and readjusts when it happens to him. I know how to handle all of the shit OCD throws at me, I was just unsure if I was handling this correctly.

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

@Vimli Yeah it was just general advice for whoever reads :) glad to hear you've made progress too, it's good to have people on the app who have, I think it helps a lot. Hmm, I would guess if it simply turns you off totally then you shouldn't force yourself to carry on. But if you're (or anyone is) changing your behaviour out of fear of the intrusive thoughts it would cause to just continue, i.e. you stop masturbating to avoid the thoughts, that's compulsive. I think you're allowed a moment to regroup after being hit with some god awful imagery tbh though lol. Sounds like you stop a moment, shudder, go back to the nice thoughts and finish off. Seems pretty much perfect to me. You're not pushing away the thoughts or dwelling afterwards, you're treating them as unimportant, random brain glitches, which is what they are. Pausing and adjusting is definitely what non OCD people do in this situation and it's exactly what I do too, so idk it sounds good to me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@Scoggy Thanks! I appreciate it.

kenzzz

Date posted: 5y

i’m not who you meant to ask, as my ocd isn’t anything to do with sex or sexuality, but whenever something weird pops into my head during that kind of activity (like the examples you provided above) i just kind of go “uh ok lol” and go back to whatever i was thinking about before w/o stopping whatever i’m doing. idk that stopping and readjusting is a compulsion bc i don’t know enough about these ocd themes but i hope my answer offered at least a little help :)

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond