Guys I am concerned about something which doesn't have to do with OCD, but I could use a clever opinion, just like yours. I have a boyfriend. I love him. We are in love, I think. We've talked about getting married. I really think and want hime to be the one. Imagine how much the guy means to me. Last night we discussed the possibility of going abroad to study, because one of our friends is doing so. We are not young, we are about to reach our thirties. We both want to study abroad too. And although we haven't started going after it, it did make me wonder what would happen to us if I started working towards that goal. Should we break up if one of us decides to try to study abroad? What if we don't work as a couple in the long run and we refrain each other from achieving what we want in life? I al sad and anxious even though none of us is searching that possibility just now. Any tips?

Sounds related to OCD to me! You’re anxious because of uncertainty and seeking certainty about every possibility. Your head is filled with “what if’s” and ruminating as a response/compulsion. It’s important to consider how your lives would be different here vs abroad, but you don’t need to seek out every devastating repercussion that might happen (ie breaking up, not achieving what you want it life.) If you both go abroad, maybe you’ll break up. If you both stay, maybe you’ll break up. If you both, go maybe you’ll achieve what you want in life. If you both stay, maybe you’ll achieve what you want in life. None of your worries are definite conclusions of these paths. Also, what about studying abroad together in the same place? Many people make it through temporary long distance in a relationship. But that’s totally dependent on the people and the relationship. Are you typically independent people now? Are you able to easily maintain separate interests and friends? Do you feel fine and stable when apart? Or do you do everything together? Do even short periods apart make you both anxious or put a strain on the relationship? Independent relationships/people are more likely to do well, codependent people are less likely. But that’s just a probability not a rule. When your brain starts catastrophizing (rather than just planning), acknowledge that maybe that’s a possibility, but maybe not. And take the pressure off of this one decision as an end-all-be-all of staying together/breaking up, achieving what you want/ failing at life. That’s so black and white and extreme. Focus less on the catastrophes and more on what going abroad could mean/do for YOU. If it’s something you really want, do it. The relationship will last through it or it won’t. If going abroad doesn’t matter that much to you and you’d rather spend the time focusing on your relationship and life together, do that. It still may or may not last. Good luck!

Woah. Thank you so much. That is exactly what I needed. A balanced opinion. It has really helped me to gain a more centered perspective on the subject. And you're right, I tend to respond in that way to everything. Thank you for helping me out, really