I’m extremely depressed and exhausted and my anxiety is getting worse. Please don’t judge me. It’s extremely embarrassing but I applied for ssi (I was told I don’t qualify for ssdi), I’ve been contacting the state for assistance but each time they tell me I have to wait for the homebound unit to contact me. The person I’m staying with can no longer support me, my parents have both died, all my relatives are in a different country and my sister literally told me she doesn’t care. I don’t know what to do. There’s no way I can move for various reasons, I’ve moved a lot in the past and made my mental illnesses worse, let alone get out of bed. I can’t even get therapy because I don’t have insurance and even if I did they won’t pay for more sessions. I’ve had some freelance work but some didn’t pay me. I feel so cornered, desperate, ashamed, embarrassed. Can anyone point me to the right direction?

I’m really sorry that you’re dealing with this. Are there nonprofit organizations that you can go to for help? It’s super dependent on where you’re at, but there are a number of social service organizations who can help Guide you to resources that you need. I’m thinking a social worker or someone else might be able to give better advice.

I would recommend the self-help book “Stop Obsessing” by Edna Foa, since you can’t afford therapy right now. It’s so insanely expensive. I haven’t been going either.

Thank you @KatieKat. I have bought a lot of self help books in the past and learned a lot from each book so I’m excited to give this one a try as well.

I hate living like this.

I’ve been researching a lot. I contacted a lot of people. A lot require evaluations which is understandable. But they all keep pointing me else where until I’m told they can’t help me.

@LaPink thank you. I’ve read about believing in the higher up. I remember when I had to put my first cat I’ve had and lived more than my family, I was angry with God. Why would He take something away from me? She was a special family to me. If God is real then why are there suffering in this world? Animal abuse, illnesses, etc but I understand the concept of free will but I can’t help to direct my anger towards Him. Not all the time though. I’ve also thought about God only gives you what you can handle. But really? How do I let go? How do I allow God to heal me, if he is? Why do I have to go through this? Why are my thoughts so distorted? If General assistance is the same as state assistance then I’ve been contacting them. Unfortunately because I can’t go anywhere I have to wait for the homebound unit and in the past two weeks I’ve called about four times just to be told I have to wait 2-3 days. But I contacted suicide help line and they gave me some resources to look into. I’m just so overwhelmed with anxiety of my bills, losing a place to stay, having to move and not being near my ex.

I sometimes think he wants me out because he found someone and wants to be with her.

The book is on Amazon.