I'm obsessed about having a personality disorder. It really feels like something is wrong with me because I have an urge to talk about my emotional distress (which has been building up for two years) to people I like. At first I thought this urge was normal because OCD is very hard to life with, but I talked to my therapist and the urge did not go away. Could this be a sign that I want attention and this being a personality disorder? Please give me some answers. I don't know anymore what to do.

vanitas

Date posted: 5y

i thought i was the only one that did this omfg??? i always have the constant urge to talk to people about how i’m feeling which makes me feel like an absolute attention seeker and i hate it. and i’m obsessed about other mental health disorders too, mainly schizophrenia, but recently it’s been about personality disorders

IhateOCD99

Date posted: 5y

I'm relieved I'm not the only one! I also had an obsession about schizophrenia, but it slowly went away. A couple of months later I started to obsess over having a personality disorder. I also don't want to be an attention seeker. I hate it. But something inside me gives me a weird 'warm feeling' of actually doing it. I really hope this has nothing to do with a personality disorder because having OCD and social anxiety is already way to hard for me?

vanitas

Date posted: 5y

same oml!! it’s like getting a kick out of the attention even though you really don’t want to feel it. i first started obsessing over having a personality disorder a few months ago when i found out that someone i knew had one. and for me that ties in with the attention thing because then my ocd starting to try and convince me that i had it and tried to make me start acting like i had one if that makes sense?? and that legit made me feel so narcissistic and attention seeking because i know that having a personality disorder + ocd/anxiety would be the absolute worst. but my brain kept saying stuff like “you have a personality disorder, and everyone needs to know about it” when i fully know that i don’t have one

IhateOCD99

Date posted: 5y

@cole Yes for me it's the exact same. I'm also scared of a narcistic personality disorder. Mainly the part of being manipulative. I always question myself if the attention I seek is manipulative. But I don't want to be manipulative. I just want someone who I can tell and trust about my ocd. Do you also have low self esteem? I certainly do and I'm also very insecure about my love life because I never got a serious girlfriend in my life. I always was very awkward when talking to girls. Maybe this is something that stams frkm having low self esteem? What do you think?

vanitas

Date posted: 5y

@mb99 i definitely have low self esteem but it can come to me in loads of different ways. i’m really insecure with the way i look, but im also super awkward when it comes to talking with new people and i just hate the way that i turn really inward and my voice goes like “squeaky” etc etc. i do think that the fear is rly amped up by having low self esteem because usually i’ll think that maybe i have a hard time talking with people because i have a disorder other than ocd

IhateOCD99

Date posted: 5y

@cole You could have social anxiety like I have. The fear has luckily became less. But I think that's because two years ago my ocd started and is still destroying my whole life. I guess I have to less time to worry about social situations lol. I've looked into every personality disorder And it seems that every one of them I can relate a little bit. Like, I have the urge to get attention, sometimes I am very irritated and a lot of other stuff. But these could also be caused by having so much anxiety for a very long time. I asked my therapist about it and I'll probably get an answer in the upcoming days so I'll let you know

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