Ok I am OFFICIALLY hopeless! I have bpd on top of ocd but my ocd is worse and I told the ocd specialist this and she said she doesn’t think she can help me! That cbt wouldn’t work for me! I told her about what the psychologist I hope to said that I need to focus on my ocd and erp. I am so done. I’ll never be ok.

I need someone who takes my insurance and there’s only like 3 who would in my area. I’ve heard of professionals getting scared away by people diagnosed with bpd and it makes me feel like crap and I’m wondering if that scared her away.

3 ocd specialists I mean. I have a therapist rn but she’s just a talk therapist. She keeps reassuring me but I need an ocd specialist.

I will ask her about that- thank you. I replied to her at first that the psychologist wanted me to JUST do erp/cbt skills rn bc she thinks that’s more important atm and that she has her own dbt program I could take. So I’m gonna wait to see what the therapist I emailed said. I’m just worried that she was scared by my bpd.

@Mars May I push back a bit on how you're interpreting this?

@Mars Also nice work advocating for yourself by suggesting a compromise

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Yes that’s fine. I could be misinterpreting it of course. I just fear simply because I have heard so many stories of professionals not even wanting to deal with bpd patients and I guess that worried me.

@NOCD Advocate - Katie And thank you. It’s hard advocating for myself still but I’m trying to be more upfront about things I feel I need.

@Mars It's possible that she's scared. Some therapists are. However, there are other possibilities too. Many therapists with high levels of expertise have gotten that expertise by working with a narrow population of clients. Her saying that she doesn't know if she can help is likely just that- she doesn't feel confident that she has the training needed to provide comprehensive high quality care. It doesn't mean you're a hopeless case. It means that the therapist knows there is an effective treatment that you'd benefit from, but that she isn't qualified to provide it. It's no different than a cardiologist saying "the symptoms you're describing sound like stomach problems. You need to see a gastroenterologist."

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Though it's definitely frustrating if you're getting bounced back and forth

@NOCD Advocate - Katie That last part made things feel a lot more sense. I probably did overreact I just felt so much like a hopeless case and I always feel like a monster so I got scared... thank you for giving me a different perspective of it. When she replies if she still can’t give me proper help I’ll ask her for some other resources I can go to definitely. I just want to get better and ocd is so scary. Most that’s helped me lately is watching twin peaks, playing animal crossing, and using CBD oil.

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Yes it is... the psychologist I spoke to even had trouble finding people for me. So it’s just very frustrating.

@Mars That might be a sign that it's time to explore the possibility of a higher level of care

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I guess so. I’m not suicidal or anything so the psychologist said I don’t need to be inpatient or anything atm. Just constantly antsy from ocd which puts me in a crisis. I’ll be talking to the psychologist again next week as a follow up so I’ll talk to her again and ask what else we can do.

@Mars Ok :) you and your providers know you best.

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Yes, tho I appreciate any advice or support I can get as well. Which I do appreciate your help and everyone’s help who’s given me support. It’s just very hard sometimes and ocd is very tiring.