- Username
- ocdhere
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey girl I'm 22 but have had it since highschool although it went away a bit after I moved out of my mom's and came back so much worse after an abusive ex. Not sure what subtypes I have since I don't know the subtypes. All I know for sure is that I have contamination. I have a lot of other symptoms that I'm sure belong to subtypes i just don't know them yet! Also in college fourth year! Congrats on honors!
Thank you!!! What kind of compulsions do you struggle with and how do you love past them?
@Kate I don't really know the lingo or what subtypes exactly but I have problem with counting, double tripple checking, things being in the right position, superstitions, intrusive thoughts although rare for me but do happen, and things in my relationship although I'm not sure yet if that's OCD or because of my ex but hopefully I can talk to the counselor about it Monday!
@Kate Oh and pretty positive I'm a hoarder
Hey Kate! I’m a college student as well and would love to talk with you if you have any questions about managing school with ocd. I’ve struggled with scrupulosity and other forms of pure o, but am work on it, just like you!
I would love to talk more about scrupulously with you!!!
@ocdhere Definitely! Feel free to message me :)
@Hope8 Wait I’m dumb, I don’t think there is a DM function on here.... but id be happy to exchange numbers or group me or something
One of the areas that my perfectionism OCD affected me when I was around your age was constantly obsessing about getting good grades in school and college to the point I often re-read book assignments by re-reading individual sentences and paragraphs over and over and over again for fear that I might have missed something very important. I did the same when writing term papers by re-writing over and over again. During exams, a test might normally take me and most people maybe an hour, I would use the full 2 hours going over every question to make sure that I did not misread a question and answer incorrectly and also to ensure that I did not select an unintended answer. I did the same at work. It's a very emotionally exhaustive way to live. The underlying fear was that I would fail a class, people would think that I was stupid, my family would be disappointed, and I would end up not graduating, never get a good job, and either be living at home or on some form of public assistance all of which would be very humiliating to me personally. That's just a general overview. The same mindset has affected me in other ways. But, I have had some of the more standard compulsions such as tapping or blinking a certain number of times to prevent something bad happening, avoiding "bad" numbers, apologizing to God if I heard someone else utter blasphemous words or phrases, etc. There have been so many over the years that I do not remember all of the different manifestations. What has helped me immensely is ERP, mindfulness, and having more self-compassion. You will learn those things as well in therapy.
I have been struggling a lot with class, during my senior year of math, I couldn’t write notes without having to repeat writing it and then I’d fall behind so I had to have my friends send me photos of the notes
@Kate Is this just in math or does it happen in other classes, too?
@Fear Strikes Out Any classes with note taking
Kate, welcome to the group! You must be excited about beginning your college career in the fall. Will you be attending a larger university or a smaller one? I must say that your educational aspirations run a pretty wide range (nothing wrong with that, of course) from kindergarten teacher to dermatology. The type of OCD that I have experienced over the years is perfectionism or just right, symmetrical, good and bad numbers, and compulsive tics when I was very young around 7-8 years old. There have been other manifestations, but those are the primary ones. I am excited for you that you will be receiving treatment at a young age so that you can live life as it should be, to the very fullest!
I would love to talk and know more about your ocd!! I have scrupulously and have had pure o and some other types but have had a range of them through the years!
How long has this been happening?
Started when I had religious thoughts, if I had a bad thought, I’d have to do it over again
ERP will help a lot. Are you using an OCD specialist when it is safer to do so?
Hi everyone! It’s been a while! For anyone that doesn’t know me, I’m Daisy :) I’ve been a part of this forum since it first opened and boy has it come far! I’m 18 and live in Australia ?? I’m currently 8 weeks into an inpatient hospital stay due to the severity of my OCD. So believe me when I say, I’m very, very familiar with OCD and how truly horrendous it can be to live with. I just wanted to let others know that I’m here to listen if they need someone to vent to. Sometimes it’s hard to open up as an obsessive-compulsive because our thoughts are so terrifyingly intrusive. Our friends and family, although supportive, can be unfamiliar with the mechanisms of these horrific thoughts and how to approach them. Feel free to ask me anything! I’ve taken dozens of medications, seen many specialist and engaged in multiple different therapies. If anyone’s interested in life as an inpatient, I’m more than happy to answer some questions ? Hope you’re all wonderful ? d a i s y
Hello new friends! My name is Graham and I just got diagnosed with OCD in December. I’m 21 years old and a music student at a prestigious conservatory in New York City. This is my OCD story. I have had OCD like symptoms since a very young age, for example, at age 3 I thought I would die if I left the house without a bottle of water, and refused to do so for almost 7 years, and I had countless sensory issues with food and clothing. However, around age 12, the thoughts began to become increasingly horrible. Violent intrusive images, urges to yell obscenities at people, overall intense fear of hurting other people emotionally or physically occupied my brain for hours a day. Additionally, I began to have intense contamination fears - obsessive hand washing, (although not nearly as bad as many people’s) having to carry hand sanitizer everywhere I went, and even worse, as I began to grow body hair, that was as “unclean” as it could get to me. I *had* to rid my body of it. These thoughts then began to plague my performances as well - I would obsessively worry about a certain thing, and it would ruin the whole experience for me, no matter how well I pulled through. As I also was trying to come to terms with my sexuality, (I’m gay) my brain produced tons of sexual intrusive images of both men and women, leaving me lost and confused as to what I actually was. I did not dare search what my thoughts meant. I thought for sure doing so would lead me to be put on a FBI watch list, inform me I was clinically insane, or something along those lines. One day in late October, I was on my commute home from school. This commute is an hour each way on crowded public transportation - between contamination and harm OCD, you can imagine how this experience goes for me every day. For 30 minutes, my brain thought of everything horrible I could do to the person next to me. Strangle them, stab them, rape them, call them racial slurs, rip their hair out. It was so overwhelming that by the time they walked off the train I thought I was going to faint from the panic I felt. I decided enough was enough and googled what I was feeling, which lead me to discover this subset of pure O OCD, which I knew nothing about. A friend of mine was diagnosed when we were 15, and I assumed it just meant obsessive without compulsive, and didn’t look into it whatsoever. I began to see a counselor at my school, and he sent me to the psychiatrist through the school who diagnosed me with OCD. Almost immediately after my diagnosis, my grandfather fell ill. I couldn’t bear to tell my parents while we were dealing with that. He ended up passing away a little less than a month later. This has been so beyond hard on my entire family. It’s been a little over a month now, and as more things have gone wrong for my mom - her company being hacked, getting in a car wreck (she’s totally fine other than whiplash) - I haven’t been able to bring myself to discuss with them. I feel as though I will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. But I know I need to tell them. Hopefully it will happen as soon as possible...but it’s plaguing my mind a lot. If anyone can offer words of advice on what to do, I would appreciate it greatly. Thanks for reading. That’s my story. I hope to meet more wonderful humans who understand what I go through - have a wonderful day all! :)
Hello! I am new to this app even though I have struggled with OCD almost all my life. I am a college student, almost twenty years old plagued with intrusive thoughts mostly dealing with sexuality and real events. I am happy that I will get to know people who also has OCD and will not make me feel alone. As a starter, how old are ya’ll and how was your experience with this distressful mental illness? I hope all of ya’ll are having a peaceful day 😊
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