My "hocd" doesn't feel like hocd anymore. It feels more real, everyday I feel like I'm in denial or just not accepting. I'm numb to my thought and have no emotions to anything but I'm still worried. Have no aesthetic, sexual and romantic attraction. My imagination and thinking is distorted to the point I can't remember what it felt like to fantasize. I can now only remember my past where I loved guys so much. I feel like I have turned gay. All the things that I feel can't be just OCD. I feel like I'm pretending to have OCD and hide my true self :(:(

Im s little glad I'm not the only one feeling this way, I feel so numb it's almost like I've turned gay out of nowhere. I'll be starting therapy tomorrow. I hope it goes well :(

Also please stay strong. We will hopefully get better

@sanzida? Been going through this for a year and some months but I had Health ocd And it stopped and a week later I got Hocd I just need a break now every bad thought makes me nervous I don’t even know why this is happening to us I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy I’ve tried suicide and all of those now I’m just to numb to do anything

@Mod22 I'm so sorry. Please try staying strong. At this point in the case, everything makes me anxious, straight or gay. I get intrusive thoughts but I'm numb to them. But Im worried. Mostly I'm worried about the gay thoughts but as days are passing on I feel like I like my gay thoughts :(

Ikr, please try staying strong. We will be okay hopefully.

@sanzida? I feel like I’m losing the battle:( I’m scared this will stay with me forever

@cc97 Same but we have to stay strong ?. Youll be okay. I know me saying that feels like a lie but try to stay strong girl. We got this. If you want some company or just wanna talk I'm here ?

@sanzida? Do u get triggered when u find a girl pretty? Before my HOCD started it didn’t bother me at all finding a girl pretty I knew It wasn’t anything more then that but now it triggers me and makes me panic

@cc97 I do get triggered. These days I've found myself getting triggered from guys because I don't have attraction for them like I had before this and it gets me a little upset ?

@sanzida? I relate to that too:(

@cc97 I actually feel gay at this point and I feel like I'm hiding my true self :(. I'm having a therapy session today, hopefully I'll do good at explaining my feeling to my therapist ?

@sanzida? I feel the same way it is so scary

@cc97 Ikr ?. My therapy didn't go as planned and I feel terrible. I also feel very gay :(

@sanzida? This is horrible :( I feel so anxious today

@cc97 Me too