- Username
- AmyGirl
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I am afraid of my husband now, too. He's the only person I have to vent to and now I have no one. The police warned me as they put me in their car that I can't say things like I said about wishing I wasn't alive or they have the right to take me away. Many of us get severely depressed and feel life is hopeless, but there is a difference between that and being suicidal. Only you all will know what I mean. The irony of the situation is my OCD is super centered around health and the fear of dying. My husband is half of the reason my OCD is so bad despite many efforts with therapy. It's such a vicious cycle. It's nice to know other people get it. The entire drive the cops tried to tell me what I need to do. They are half my age and no nothing about mental illness. They said it's not all your mental illness that put you here, you have choices. People without mental disorders or experience treating them should not talk as if they understand us. What they put me through today was not understanding and help, it was humiliation and torture.
That’s some fucking bullshit. I don’t care what anyone says, the U.S. is not all it’s cracked up to be. That is disgusting and my heart breaks for you that you had to go through that!!!
I pray you can find some type of support. I hope you get the help you need. Be strong through this!
What the hell. Choices ? Since when is having a mental health disorder a choice. How dare they lecture you. You didn’t call them for help. That’s not help. They should of called you an ambulance only. At least the paramedics would of recognized this as a health crisis. Your not a criminal.
Also could you imagine saying our ocd thoughts out loud??? As if that has any substance either. And it’s because of the choices we made !! Lol what a crock of shit. Amy have a good laugh. Could you imagine we would all be locked up with you.
Oh my goodness. I’m sorry you went through that. That’s really extreme. This is my story. I don’t want you to feel you’re alone. I had my ex call the cops on me after some texts about wanting to die. I had my apartment door locked and the police said they would break the door down if I didn’t open. So I opened. I said I’m going to talk to one officer. We talked for a few but I guess I answered wrong so they forced me into the wheel chair. I wanted to take my earrings off because it was my deceased mother’s and didn’t want to lose. As I took them off I dropped one and the woman trying to put me in the wheelchair said I did it on purpose. I started cursing at her. Also when I leave my apartment I have to check everything including my clothes to make sure nothing was on it. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t even wear my underwear (I was in a skirt-this was right after I took a shower) and not to mention no coat despite being December. Oh and talk about embarrassment. When they tried to put me on the chair my skirt came up and I was exposed. I tried to cover as fast as I could. I was scarred. People at the hospital were terrible. They didn’t care about my ocd fears and treated my belongings like it was nothing. They gave me a hard time when I was doing my compulsion of checking where I was. They don’t care. These people should not be in mental health services. We’re already ashamed and exhausted from our fears from OCD and other illnesses and to add onto it. It traumatized me. The police even had the nerve to tell me he understands me. I don’t have anyone to vent to as well since my ex was the only person I was able to talk to. We get treated like trash, like a crazy person who’s inferior to those without these illnesses. Mental health is not a choice, much like cancer. But with lung cancer you can try to prevent by not smoking. It’s really unfair. I felt I wasn’t treated like a human. They take away privileges and give up power. And here we are murderers get better treatment than us.
I'm so sorry CCL :( Similar thing. They went through all my stuff and I had a single dollar bill saved from my grandmother who passed, tucked in a pocket. They mixed it up with everything else and now I don't know which one it is. It meant something to me :(
It's so silly, I know, but after this experience I feel "crazy." And it's all turned into obsessive thoughts. I know my husband was trying to help, but it was horrible and now I feel worse than when I started. I explained to him nothing good comes out of these things because they don't even let you see a therapist and they leave you alone with your thoughts. It's the opposite of what we would need. Mental healthcare has such a long way to go, it's heartbreaking.
You need to tell them the truth. That their dad tried to get you help because he thought you were more sick than you were and that sometimes the good guys (police) aren’t good. This is NOT your fault. Shame on them! Absolutely disgusting people
What Ariel_dancer said, stay strong. I know with mental health things it’s hard to accept that things aren’t somehow your fault, so instead try and trust a friend. I don’t know you but I know this was total mistreatment and I would try to bring this to court. Don’t do it if it would bring you more stress and don’t think about it now. Just try and relax ?
I hate when people are so careless with sentimental items. I know how special that dollar is to you. My heart aches just reading what you wrote. I’m big on sentimental items. Hopefully you didn’t have too many dollar bills that you could put away? So you’ll know at least one of those bills was from your grandmother. It really is heartbreaking. A wallet that was given to me by my grandmother before she passed away was stolen. That’s why I have huge attachment to things and afraid of losing things (one of my biggest fear). Lots of hugs to you.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Don’t say it’s silly. It’s not. These things really can be traumatizing especially when piled up on already existing fears. You’re feeling of “crazy” is valid. You’re so right about leaving you alone, not caring about your comfort, just tossed into a “battlefield”. Psychiatrists don’t really care about listening to us. They want to solve all the problems with meds. One of the three times I was hospitalized, my roommate was very understanding and supportive. The second time, there was a patient who had OCD so it made things a bit easier. There was an intern therapist but to me it didn’t matter because he’s still “learning”. What if says isn’t right or an experienced therapist would recommend something else. Do you have a therapist now? I hope you guys can work on your feelings. I hope it doesn’t get worse to a point you’re paralyzed by it. ❤️
Read all of the comments since I last commented and am so appalled! To have them tell you they know how you feel?!? I can’t believe this!
Not sure how to tell my 3 and 6 yo I wasn't bad. Heartbreaking.
*know
I need some serious help and I don't start treatment until the 20th and my therapist is on vacation. My thoights have gotten so much worse, to the point that I think they warrant me getting reported. I don't wanna harm/kill anyone but my thoughts make it seem like Im a psychopath who does have a plan. I had to call the suicide hotline to make sure I didn't do anything. Id rather be locked up than to harm anyone. But just thinking of me failing at being a good mom to my son is what crushes me. Ive had panic attack after panic attack and Ive cried so much I just can't cry anymore. Im numb and disgusted with myself. I wish this was all just a nightmare
I work in the ER and was through all of Covid…. I have gotten sick several times in the last couple months and each time I’m given antibiotics and I go absolutely crazy.. uncontrollable anxiety, tremors, high heart rate, bad thoughts. It literally takes me weeks to get back to normal. I’m currently going through an episode.. I’m absolutely terrified tonight.. I’m obsessively checking my pulse ox and heart rate to the point where I’m scared to go to sleep because I’m terrified I’m going to die… I just would like someone to let me know I’m not alone.. each time this happens it gets scarier and scarier.. I have OCD, severe health anxiety, GAD… and trauma that I feel is turning into PTSD.. I feel so alone at this current moment..
I went to the hospital Sunday night because I had a racing/pounding heart.. it woke me up from a dead sleep. I thought I was having a heart attack. My partner put their hand over my chest and could feel how fast it was pounding and they got up from a dead sleep to take me to the hospital. I was so confused when they tests came back normal. I think I just had another episode. I got this intense fear that I was going to act out or harm myself. I then felt derealization and an intense anxiety. I almost called 911 on myself. I’ve had small episodes like this before but these last 2 have been super intense. Anyone else experience this?
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