Does anyone else have a fear of being “exposed”? For example you may have said something less then nice you feel bad about (but isn’t as horrible as you’re making it) and are afraid that it could be used against you and then everyone will hate you? Especially if I’m no longer close with the person it freaks me out more. It’s a fear I’m dealing with right now, and I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this or has any advice?

Yeah I've always had this about various things, my mind always goes there. People I've told my secrets or mistakes to might spread them, people could spend their time huddled together bitching about me, everyone could volunteer their worst opinions and experiences of me etc. I try to remind myself that opinions can't hurt me and that even though it causes a lot of feelings of vulnerability, I don't need to have always been a perfect person, nor do I need to be one now or become one. I can survive being judged and even misunderstood. If I've been mean or rude or lied and it later bites my butt, that's life I suppose, I can survive that too. Remember that thing Katie posted about how we overestimate threat and underestimate our coping ability. Just like you can recognise that you're making what you said into something more horrible, you're also thinking of the worst case scenario on a scale of possibilities, and not considering that you could cope with it. If you're surrounded by the kind of people who are going to make the worst interpretations, judge you as a person based on those and then shun you and want others to shun you, then I assure you that those aren't the sort of people who you need to be liked by. Real friends accept that friends aren't perfect. We all might make ourselves look bad sometimes and everybody makes mistakes and gets carried away or complains about others on a bad day or absentmindedly, and nobody can claim they would've done any better in your situation and have never done the same thing. Vulnerability can be turned into a real strength when you own your flaws and other people are drawn to that because it's a mark of compassion for yourself and others and genuine strength through flexibility, not through ego. I know you're terrified right now. But whatever may or may not swing your way, you'd be able to handle it. Yes there could be awkward or embarassing moments but we all have and all need those in life in order to learn and grow. Your fantasy of being pelted with rocks in the proverbial town square is an idea in your mind. Even if all possible things go wrong, you wouldn't have to accept that as the final picture of what this is, you have plenty of power to make it into something which serves both you and others.

Yes, I’ve experienced this. Once you realize that everybody is dealing with their own lives and as long as you’re not mean, it’s fine. Try testing this on close friends or family and see how it makes you feel, this will be great exposure therapy. Does your obsession change anything? Probably not.