J1ll
- Date posted
- 5y
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I've always had this about various things, my mind always goes there. People I've told my secrets or mistakes to might spread them, people could spend their time huddled together bitching about me, everyone could volunteer their worst opinions and experiences of me etc. I try to remind myself that opinions can't hurt me and that even though it causes a lot of feelings of vulnerability, I don't need to have always been a perfect person, nor do I need to be one now or become one. I can survive being judged and even misunderstood. If I've been mean or rude or lied and it later bites my butt, that's life I suppose, I can survive that too. Remember that thing Katie posted about how we overestimate threat and underestimate our coping ability. Just like you can recognise that you're making what you said into something more horrible, you're also thinking of the worst case scenario on a scale of possibilities, and not considering that you could cope with it. If you're surrounded by the kind of people who are going to make the worst interpretations, judge you as a person based on those and then shun you and want others to shun you, then I assure you that those aren't the sort of people who you need to be liked by. Real friends accept that friends aren't perfect. We all might make ourselves look bad sometimes and everybody makes mistakes and gets carried away or complains about others on a bad day or absentmindedly, and nobody can claim they would've done any better in your situation and have never done the same thing. Vulnerability can be turned into a real strength when you own your flaws and other people are drawn to that because it's a mark of compassion for yourself and others and genuine strength through flexibility, not through ego. I know you're terrified right now. But whatever may or may not swing your way, you'd be able to handle it. Yes there could be awkward or embarassing moments but we all have and all need those in life in order to learn and grow. Your fantasy of being pelted with rocks in the proverbial town square is an idea in your mind. Even if all possible things go wrong, you wouldn't have to accept that as the final picture of what this is, you have plenty of power to make it into something which serves both you and others.
J1llJ1ll
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you!!!
nicehazardsnicehazards
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes, I’ve experienced this. Once you realize that everybody is dealing with their own lives and as long as you’re not mean, it’s fine. Try testing this on close friends or family and see how it makes you feel, this will be great exposure therapy. Does your obsession change anything? Probably not.
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andrea_sam730
- Date posted
- 11w
I can’t I feel like I’m stuck
I did post about this the other day, but I’m just genuinely worried like this happened many years ago and I can’t really remember exactly what I said, but I have a feeling like I said something really mean and I think I lashed out on a person like a stranger cause I don’t know I was probably going through something and I’m afraid that like it was so bad it caused them to hurt themselves and now I keep thinking like what if the police are secretly looking for me because the harm caused, even though I have no evidence of any of this, but even this Happened like a deca ago, it still haunts me like I really hope that the person is OK and I constantly like keep reviewing like their conversation over and over again like in my mind like I genuinely feel like a bad person maybe even a criminal 😃
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 8w
Real Event OCD
Currently feeling extremely shameful for something I did in the past. Any advice? I've had periods of coming to terms with it and understanding that it was just a mistake, as no one got hurt, but now it's resurfacing again.
anonymous76
- Date posted
- 4w
terrified about my past confessions
TLDR; i'm terrified that my past confessions/need for reassurance to the wrong people will get back at me one day from them not knowing it was undiagnosed OCD/not understanding. back when i was 17/18 i began struggling severely with POCD. at the time, i wasn't diagnosed and had not much idea what OCD was, so naturally i just thought i was a terrible person. i needed reassurance from everyone - even coworkers, friends, anyone, some who barely knew me. i'd tell people about the thoughts i was struggling with and when i look back it upsets me because i know deep down they thought it was weird. i don't know why i felt the need to tell these people about my POCD. i even remember one of my supervisors looking at me with this horrified look on her face. the job i worked at back then, i sometimes had to do parties for children so naturally i refused because of my theme, i was (still am if i'm honest) scared of children. i ended up not being kept permanently at my job (i was seasonal) due to me not doing the parties. i ended up going back to that job a year (ish) later after being diagnosed. i made it clear i had OCD and wore lots of pin badges about it and made it my mission to spread awareness of what OCD really is. i was on meds (still am). some people had left naturally, so i know there's some people out there who never actually found out i had OCD and i am terrified they think of me as this dangerous, weird p*do because of my intrusive thoughts whenever they hear my name/think of that job. i'm terrified that my old coworkers talk about me and describe me as a bad person. i had someone come into my new job a few months back, and being in customer service, we were having a friendly chat and she mentioned she just started working at my old job. i said i used to work there, she then asked me if i was *my full name* and i said yes, she said she'd heard about how bad my manager was back then. she tried to follow me on instagram and i blocked her. i'm terrified on how she knows about me, what does she know? what was she told? it haunts me to this day. what if she thinks i'm a bad person, because my old colleagues have told her stories of my POCD? why was i even mentioned? but yeah - long story short i'm just mortified that i was so open about POCD and that there's people out there who know about it that probably shouldn't, some who i know didn't like me very much anyway, and that it might come back to me later in life and i'd lose everything, and just overall the thought of someone thinking of me as a bad person. anyone else relate?
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