An online acquaintance reached out to me saying they think they’re experiencing intrusive thoughts - I did my best to help and provide resources in our country. However they said a few things that imply the thoughts may not be ego-dystonic (thoughts of just doing it, etc.). I’m just wondering what my role is here. I want to help them, but I’m not sure what they’re experiencing sounds much like intrusive thoughts. But if it is, I don’t want to trigger them and make them worse by validating that their fears are true! I understand this is a bit confusing, but if anyone could shed some light on the right move here I’d really appreciate it!

What are their thoughts about? :(

Thoughts of "just doing it" and other things like that can definitely come if the initial thoughts have been coming for a long time of have been extremely intense. I frequently wish my OCD worries would just become true already so I won't have to carry them anymore, and I get thoughts of making them happen. Just because it can be in that format doesn't mean they want them. Plus with stuff like harm OCD it can be directives and accusations instead of just a what if and fear that you might do it. When I had harm OCD as a child, I'd get the what if followed by accusations that I want to do it, and occasionally urges to do it and the feeling that I should and images of doing it. Also can be part of compulsions of imagining doing it. If they told you they don't want the thoughts and are pretty sure they don't want to do it, it's just the obsession/testing/questioning which is giving them suspicion that they do want to do it etc, then they're ego dystonic. The worst thing you can do when someone opens up to you that they're having thoughts they don't want and are worried about them is to interpret that they do want the thoughts. As sanzida says, maybe people can give better advice if you're more specific but I really can't imagine someone who has thoughts they enjoy (otherwise known as fantasies) and yet being disturbed by them and wanting them to go away. There can be e.g. social reasons why someone who fantasises about the same sex might find them distressing and not want them but they still recognise that they enjoy them. When intrusive thoughts are non distressing, that's OCPD and that's where you get neat freaks who enjoy being neat freaks and aren't upset that they have the thoughts. The person who reached out to you clearly feels like the thoughts and ideas aren't in alignment with who they are and they don't like it when they have them or want them. Probably your role is to direct them to support networks like NOCD and not become their personal counselor.