An online acquaintance reached out to me saying they think they’re experiencing intrusive thoughts - I did my best to help and provide resources in our country. However they said a few things that imply the thoughts may not be ego-dystonic (thoughts of just doing it, etc.). I’m just wondering what my role is here. I want to help them, but I’m not sure what they’re experiencing sounds much like intrusive thoughts. But if it is, I don’t want to trigger them and make them worse by validating that their fears are true! I understand this is a bit confusing, but if anyone could shed some light on the right move here I’d really appreciate it!

I’ve been gone for about a month, mostly because I kept seeing messages on here that felt super anxiety-inducing and not understanding of OCD at all. Honestly, it got to the point where I started getting nervous to even open the app. Lately, I’ve been stuck in this OCD loop that I think might be moral scrupulosity or something like that. I’ve been dealing with this thing where I feel like I have to “challenge” stuff mentally or verbally, like if I don’t say something out loud, it feels super uncomfortable. And the thoughts are about heavy stuff, like assault or deportation or just really morally loaded topics. My brain starts picking everything apart. It’s like I have to look at things fairly, and then I get trapped in all these little technicalities. For example, if someone gets assaulted, my brain fixates on stuff like “what was she wearing”even though I know how harmful that line of thinking is. That is exactly the kind of thing my mind zooms in on. It happens with a bunch of topics too, not just that. I feel like I have to give the benefit of the doubt to the aggressor or see “both sides,” and then I end up doubting the victim. And the worst part is, it feels like I truly believe these devil’s advocate thoughts. It feels so real. It’s like I become convinced that the victim might be lying or that there’s some justification for the harm, and I don’t like it. This even happens with my boyfriend and especially his family. I’ll catch my brain flipping narratives or making me question people I trust. this has been a “habit”for as long as I can remember but now it’s happening so much more. I cannot stop doubting. It feels like I’m siding with people who I should have no doubts to be against. I don’t know what to do or what kind of ERP would work for this. I don’t know how to change this. It’s been apart of me so long, it simply feels like me.

Hey guys, just responded to a post about someone having their ROCD struggles and thought I might share in other groups as well in case it helps. While not everyone has ROCD, maybe some of my message can help others with this battle if it’s not something you guys already know. Maybe some of you guys can add your own thoughts as well. I’d encourage you guys to read my message even if you don’t share the Christian faith as I do. I encourage you guys further to read the Bible yourselves (what does it even say, anyway?). I’m only just a newbie to it, too, but it has helped a lot. The context: This is a response to someone who’s having guilt about their thoughts, partly because it goes against their faith. Anyway, here it goes: I can empathize and relate, especially when faith starts being thrown into the intrusive thought loop. My suggestion is to live your life according to your faith and your values, not your thoughts or feelings. Previously you might have used your thoughts and feelings to guide you as a compass, but try making God and His teachings your compass instead. Read the Bible, heck read it with your partner- that might help with feeling connected with him. Live your life according to your morals, not the world as “the heart is deceitful” (Jeremiah, 17:9) and the world has a way of demonizing certain relationship struggles (“you should be attracted to your partner”, “you shouldn’t question your relationship”, “you should have the same interests as your partner”, “you shouldn’t feel abc because it means xyz”). Make yourself a list for all the things you like about your partner, continually add/review them, and you will relearn to feel the feeling of appreciating them. What qualities about your relationship/partner have you enjoyed/make you stay? Love and loving relationships are built, not found. Notice how the reasons why you “don’t love” or “shouldn’t be with your partner” go against what God would want for you and are shallow lies from the world disguised as truths. Challenge these beliefs you’ve heard/held about relationships that are sabotaging yours. Have you considered maybe God wants you to stay with a loving partner who is good to you and cares for you? (assuming your bf is.) And lastly, find a therapist who SPECIALIZES in ocd. I’ve tried therapists who didn’t know what it was and not only were they unable to support me in the way I needed it but they kept unknowingly feeding my doubts. You are not a bad person or bad partner for having these thoughts. If you have not physically acted on your distressing thoughts, this is an extremely good sign. The fact that you know it’s wrong is a very good thing. Keep trying, even if you lose hope. Best of luck

I’ve been really struggling lately with identifying whether I feel a certain way about a situation or people around me or if I’m having intrusive thoughts. Lately, I’ve noticed talking it out with a friend is my first line of defense, sometimes just verbalizing those thoughts can help me hear what I’m saying, and actually start to process how I feel. I do get caught up in making the right decision after that, and it weighs on me heavily, and this is when I struggle to take action or become distant with others that’re in said situation. I try to do more grounding techniques and things that make me happy, I tend to try to focus on something like work or household chores and then relax with a good Gordon Ramsey show hehehe, but I still sit with that confusion of whether this is how I feel? What if it’s just an intrusive thought? What if I’m making the wrong decision or what if I don’t have grounds to feel the way I think I am feeling. This is when talking it out helps for me, but I still always have that inkling that I’m making the wrong decision regardless of what I choose. Does anyone have any coping skills suggestions to aid in this sort of struggle? I feel like it can be quite common to be stuck in those mental gymnastics with your ocd and I’m really curious what you guys do to help process these feelings yourself. I tend to spend time with my pets, watch a show, call a friend, but I’m curious if maybe there’s a recommendation that would work for me that I haven’t tried : ) thank you all for listening!! This is my first community post hehehe