Does forgiving mean forgetting what somebody did/said to you? It’s hard to forget the things people said to you when it had a big part of who you are today.

I personally think that forgiving is letting yourself release the hurt that the one specific event or interaction caused you, but that doesn't mean that they automatically have earned the benefit of the doubt. They still have to somewhat prove that they aren't going to hurt you. I think it is okay to be guarded but not to the extent where it prevents you from having relationships. That's a hard one because I tend to "forgive and forget" only to get hurt again by the same person. I feel like forgiving is honestly more for yourself than it is for the other person. It is kind of like saying, "They did X thing and it made me feel Y. But I am not going to let Y feeling stop me from continuing to grow." It is an extremely hard line to walk, especially with OCD.

Yeah that thing ^ Forgiving is recognising that they're a fallible person and people make mistakes, it tends to go hand in hand with self forgiveness and acceptance. It doesn't mean you should treat it like they never did something and it doesn't mean that you're never going to think about it and be hurt. Set appropriate boundaries so it doesn't happen again and allow people to earn your trust with actions not words. I know how you feel because I've been in that situation of making excuses for someone and deciding to put it behind me but doing nothing to make sure it doesn't repeat. If you want to work on 'forgetting' in the sense of really moving on from it and healing the negative ways it has impacted how you think or live your life, therapy can help. "To understand is to forgive". You can't make yourself forget it but you can take away its power over you and get a different perspective on it.