Does forgiving mean forgetting what somebody did/said to you? It’s hard to forget the things people said to you when it had a big part of who you are today.

gitoutmeswamp

Date posted: 5y

I personally think that forgiving is letting yourself release the hurt that the one specific event or interaction caused you, but that doesn't mean that they automatically have earned the benefit of the doubt. They still have to somewhat prove that they aren't going to hurt you. I think it is okay to be guarded but not to the extent where it prevents you from having relationships. That's a hard one because I tend to "forgive and forget" only to get hurt again by the same person. I feel like forgiving is honestly more for yourself than it is for the other person. It is kind of like saying, "They did X thing and it made me feel Y. But I am not going to let Y feeling stop me from continuing to grow." It is an extremely hard line to walk, especially with OCD.

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

Yeah that thing ^ Forgiving is recognising that they're a fallible person and people make mistakes, it tends to go hand in hand with self forgiveness and acceptance. It doesn't mean you should treat it like they never did something and it doesn't mean that you're never going to think about it and be hurt. Set appropriate boundaries so it doesn't happen again and allow people to earn your trust with actions not words. I know how you feel because I've been in that situation of making excuses for someone and deciding to put it behind me but doing nothing to make sure it doesn't repeat. If you want to work on 'forgetting' in the sense of really moving on from it and healing the negative ways it has impacted how you think or live your life, therapy can help. "To understand is to forgive". You can't make yourself forget it but you can take away its power over you and get a different perspective on it.

dee012

Date posted: 22w

taboo theme ocd and childhood trauma

i need some kind words or maybe some advice? basically i went through trauma as a kid including sexual, and acted out in disturbing ways. I’ve done things i regret. even as an early teenager i did also. the only weird things ive done recently were compulsions and weird ocd driven stuff… but besides that ive found it easy to forgive myself for a lot of stuff because i know myself and my intentions and also talking to people helps. but one thing that’s hard is when im intimate with others or in a relationship. i feel so gross and undeserving like if they knew everything ive done in my life they would hate me. I don’t tell everyone everything, i think i only did that with therapists and like one family member. I feel like if I don’t tell someone everything I’ve done that I regret and see if they forgive me for it, then that means im “hiding” something about me and being malicious. anything helps :(

IHopeWeWin

Date posted: 14w

How do I deal with genuinely horrible real events?

I need to know how to deal with unforgivable real events. The type that would have most people hate you if they knew what they’re were. I can barely get over the guilt of the things I’ve done and struggle to move past them. Some days I get closer to moving on and other days it all hits me in one big wave and makes me spiral. It’s terrible because they were genuinely bad things that I don’t think I can forgive myself. I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore.

Mitu_001

Date posted: 12w

How can I forgive myself?

It was a really serious situation.I didn't help a kid in danger years ago.Now I just keep thinking what happened and feel like a monster.And I am scared honestly.That I am like that person who hurt them.And I am scared I will be blamed.I am scared that I don't care and just don't want to be blamed.I just keep thinking what happened and how difficult it must been for them.They told me and I didn't help.I can't imagine.I am so mad .And I am afraid I dont care and even agree( it makes me sick when I think that).I wish I can do something..anything..but it might be too late.Apologise but I don't wanna make them remember.I feel responsible

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Does forgiving mean forgetting what somebody did/said to you? It’s hard to forget the things people said to you when it had a big part of who you are today.

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community