- Username
- SamanthaSarah
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Oh my goodness that sounds awefulll... I’m so sorry its so hard for you... if your not in contact with a certified therapist for ocd, i strongly recommend you get in contact with one- and you can do that through this platform if you need too. I totally understand your experience i have experienced the same in the past... its really hard... and awefull... but i have come a great long way since i started thank God... and you can see succes as well and I’m confident you will. It sounds like the issues your dealing with may be a little too icy to be addressed by posts on this chat, but we are with you every step of the way. Be brave. Hold on. Be strong. Don’t be afraid of talking this
*not icy- big*
One thing which can be helpful, just for now at least is, search up meditation for panic attacks by gentle soul on YouTube, hes very calming, and helpful wether you’re currently feeling like a mess or not
Thank you.... I will try. But here's the thing... I have a serious case of Bronchitis. That's real. My anxiety... Isn't. When I have compulsions, they stop me from breathing & something like meditation turns into a panic attack & I feel like I'm going to die. I struggle to breathe and get dizzy. But I will try. I have to.
Don’t give up! It took me several tries and years to find a helpful therapist. I was so straightforward with my current one on our first phone consult. Make a list of what worked and what didn’t and share that with therapists when you call them up. I’ve had therapists tell me they couldn’t help me, too. I’m grateful for their honesty, but it hurts. I’m sorry you feel abandoned.
Thank you, hon. That was useful advice.
Do you have a pet? Pets can really come in handy when you have depression or anxiety. And it gives you something to put your mind on because you have to take care of it. That’s my advice. Get something to take your mind off of your obsessions. Could be reading/writing a book, yoga, talking walks, dancing, or just whatever you love to do. I know this isn’t the best advice but it’s what helped me whenever I’m depressed. Just wanna let you know that you are welcomed in this community. We all have problems here but that’s what makes us a community. Ima put you in my morning prayer today. God bless.
Thank you so much for that. It really means a lot to me.
@SamanthaSarah No problem. Just wanted to let you know that you are loved. Every human has flaws and insecurities but that is what makes us human. No human is perfect. Even Lele Pons, a famous comedian, has OCD. We can make it and get through this. There is always a way. There’s a song I recommend called ‘Orange Juice’ by Melanie Martinez:)
@sillybilly Thank you so much. Yeah, I'll check it out. I watched the video Lele put out and it was such a trigger - the accuracy. I'll be watching the rest of the series. She's done a good job with it.
Have you reached out to any professional in the past?
I have... I was in therapy but my therapist was afraid of me. Others just gave up hope. Everyone I've ever considered close, abandoned me or got pushed away. It reached a point where I wouldn't shower. I couldn't leave my bedroom. I couldn't go to work. Leftover food was rotting in my room. Nothing made me function, let lone happy. People that tried to help, I treated so badly & I didn't mean to & I'm guilty to this day about it. What triggered this out of proportion is when my ex cheated on me with my best friend & started to raise hands on me. I already come from a family of domestic violence. My mind is racing so fast. I obsess over absolutely everything. Then I clean... Non stop. I clean for hours. I mop the floor thrice per room. I keep changing the water after every room. I hate bad handwriting. I hate dog ear folds on pages. I hate loud noises or people yelling at me. I'm afraid to be alone. I'm afraid to be around people. I need someone to talk to. I don't want to die... But I don't want to live either. Thank you for showing me kindness.
@SamanthaSarah Would you consider a residential treatment program for anxiety and depression? You may know all of the techniques but having that 24/7 support can be hugely important.
@Fear Strikes Out What country do you reside?
@Fear Strikes Out Unfortunately, India. If there's anything worse than the actual treatment process, its the stigma.
If not it is crucial that you do.
I've studied Psychology back in school and college and have covered Abnormal and Clinical psychology. The worst part? I know what a therapist is going to say and what counselling techniques they'll recommend. Which makes matters worse. It's so difficult with me because there is so much opposition for every type of solution you could think of. I'm a mess.
hi! I really need someone to help out right now. I would appreciate it so much. Thanks:) I know this is kind of long, but please help me out and read it. please help confirm for me that the symptoms im experiencing are just extreme existential OCD, depersonalization, and anxiety. it would make me feel a lot better. 7-8 months ago a traumatic event led me to experience severe depersonalization. ive had OCD for as long as i can remember basically, but it’s become a lot worse from this. i am a very big overthinker, so i tend to over analyze a lot of the things going on around me, my perception of everything, my thoughts, etc. it’s gotten so bad because of the depersonalization that i at times really can’t function anymore. one day, all i’ll be able to think about is the irrational fear that i somehow am going to die and there’s something terribly wrong with my brain, like cancer or something. then the next, i’ll be freaking out, worrying that im gonna go crazy. like this is some kind of early onset schizophrenia. i start doing research and i start obsessing over each and every thought i have, everything i see, etc. then i’ll be paranoid about my family, worrying that none of them are real and they’re imposters or something. i know it’s irrational. i recognize that and don’t genuinely believe it. but the fact that this thought worries me concerns me even more because it leads me to believe im going crazy. i am having existential crises regularly. like, all the time. it’s actually ridiculous. i’ll be reading a book and i start contemplating the English language and how it came to be, and then language altogether, and then how humans were able to create and understand language, and then how they were able to sound it out, how sound exists altogether, and so on. lol. like what the hell? a few days ago i was looking out of my bedroom window, and all the sudden had the intrusive thought come into my head, “what if this is just a simulation and what you see outside of your window is merely a two dimensional image?” and then i almost had a full on panic attack. anyways, those are some examples. i’m so worried. i feel like i have no control over what freaks me out anymore. i feel like i have no control of my brain altogether. i don’t want to go crazy. i don’t want to feel like im stuck in a dream anymore. im so scared. somebody please help me. i live my life in fear, worrying about everything i perceive. im exhausted. i can’t tell anyone because i don’t want them to worry, or think that im going crazy. that’ll only reinforce my fears.
Hello everyone! I have been through a whirlwind of mental health struggles but OCD feels like it might be “running the show” and I didn’t know if anyone else could relate The first time I got told I was struggling with ocd was by a therapist only a few months ago who said I “fall under the cloud of harm ocd” This lead me to a downward spiral because I had never had a mental health diagnosis before and I was so scared right away that nobody would believe me or help me. I feel like my life has been so out of control over the last few months. I’m dealing with some other things such as big life changes and identity crisis (fresh out of college, no longer a student athlete, came out to my family). I had to leave my first job as an icu nurse for the immense distress it caused me as i was working day/night rotating shifts and being triggered unknowingly to some trauma that I didn’t even know I was holding onto. I now experience heavy mood swings and dissociation at times related to ptsd and I feel like life just isn’t the same. I’m in such a tough spot because I seem to have a fear of being misdiagnosed/improperly treated, a fear of taking meds, a fear of unintentionally harming myself, and my needs for safety reassurance are so strong that I’m back home with my parents and scared to do anything. I’m a nurse as well so I know way too much about the meds and side effects. At the end of the day, the logical part of my brain wants meds to help me , but the fear or starting meds, the side effects, and the trial and error of them not knowing what will work leaves me stuck and feeling hopeless. I always end up thinking that I could just feel better if I jumped back into my normal busy life, but when I do so and get triggered (ocd or ptsd) I am left hopeless and begging my parents to get me on meds. Each appointment though leads to significant anxiety and like I have to say every single detail , which ends in me getting frustrated and confused not wanting to take meds after all because i don’t think they have the full picture. I had a bad experience with Zoloft bringing out manic symptoms when I first started it. It was terrifying. I’ve been switching provider to provider trying to find someone I trust, but in the mean time my anxiety is worsening and I feel more confused of what my symptoms really are in the first place. I have Xanax that I can take 3x daily but I don’t like feeling like I’m going to get addicted to it if I keep taking it and avoid getting on long term meds. I don’t trust any doctors and I feel the need to tell them every single little detail which I feel like leads to further frustration and maybe even impaired treatment plans. I’m sorry if this is a lot but I’m really struggling and needing some support and guidance 😭
Hii, this is my first time posting on here. I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was at least 14, and I didn’t get diagnosed til a few weeks ago, I’m 25 now. I’ve had all types of obsessions. My first big was of getting tapeworms, I became a vegetarian yo avoid em(I’m still one but I don’t fear tapeworms anymore). I thought I had schizophrenia shortly after that, that’s one that comes back here and there. I feared the end of the world, I had a big religious obsession, that lead me to being agnostic And right now I’m dealing with what I think is somatic or existential ocd. This started in early 2021, one night I was in bed watching a movie and I became very aware of myself. I looked up derealization, cause what I thought it was, and I spent the next couple months checking myself and my surroundings to see if that’s what I was experiencing. It was a very miserable time for me, but luckily it ended, I don’t remember exactly when. I was fine for most of last year, but then a toward the end of year I went driving at night with my mom and sister. I saw a tweet online about how some ppl disassociate while driving and I got scared that would happen to me. It was dark and there were lots of cars and lights, I couldn’t shake the thought. Now I’m here, still not to able to. The few times I’m able to I feel fine. But as I realize I haven’t been thinking about it it comes back. I got on lexapro shortly after cause I figured it might help but I can’t tell if it is. My anxiety is reduced but yeah. I’m so scared I won’t feel like I did before. Like I know I’m not losing my mind but it’s hard not to feel like I am sometimes. I hope someone can relate to this.
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