- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Please don't. Redditers are literal trolls. They'll tell you stuff you don't want to hear. Leave that app for now please. I have been on there and the things I have read have made me do anxious and fueled my OCD even more
- Date posted
- 5y
I know. It’s hard though because there’s stuff that could point to me being gay and it hurts
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah Reddit isn’t great for that. I’m subscribed to their OCD subreddit but it seems like if post something about how you’re improving there’s a lot of negativity like “oh that’s great for you I’m dealing with it 100x worse than you tho and nothing helps” sort of thing. I just stay for the memes.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Evelyn4416 I posted on a lesbian forum which might have been my first mistake
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X Not because they were rude or anything, but they probably assumed if I sought out the forum there was more to it than really severe OCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Same I feel you. I feel so terrible. I have no attraction anymore. I feel like I'm foricng myself to be straight but I genuinely don't want to be gay, never did.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m so scared I’ll never get a good sexual relationship with my boyfriend
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X Same except the thing is I never had one which scares me even more. I feel like I just like the idea sex but not the content irl with a guy. I remember before hocd I would be so into it, like I wanted it. But now my desires and attractions are all gone and I feel like I've turned gay :(
- Date posted
- 5y
I had to delete my Reddit. Even though I have a history of getting rid of social media as a compulsion, it is the only one I have never re-downloaded or made a new account for and I am so much better without it. Same with Instagram. I kept seeing family members who "cared" about me constantly posting on their IG stories, but ignoring my texts and messages. Now I don't have to sit there and watch them upload to Instagram every 30 minutes while they haven't responded to me in weeks.
- Date posted
- 5y
Sure, maybe you're bi. Nobody here or on Reddit can tell you. But I don't think it matters how much stuff you can dig up that "points towards" something. Ironically, there's gonna be just as much stuff which points away from it yet arguing with the idea using that stuff just makes the cycle worse. So even though your OCD is using confirmation bias to maximise the gay stuff and minimise the straight stuff when you ruminate over and look for evidence, the only way to get rid of the OCD and be able to see it in a more balanced way is to decide to stop trying to find out.
- Date posted
- 5y
Definitely valid! I have a great habit of feeding my ocd only information that fits the narrative
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X Well, things which seem to threaten us tend to feel a lot more real and present and vibrant. And things which go against that just seem weak and flimsy.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Scoggy Very true. Ironically the same person on Reddit then sent me a link about HOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X I don't think, even though you confessed everything to them, that it matters what opinion this person has. People who are gay or bi can develop HOCD if there are reasons which make it feel like a threat to their identity (homophobic family/community, religious or political identification, judgmental beliefs about gay people, etc), it's important to acknowledge that you have OCD symptoms (obsession plus compulsions) and focus on treating that. The only thing which brings a clear perspective is treatment but people really do avoid doing that out of fear of finding out things they can't cope with. That's a big reason why it's important to do stuff which improves your own sense of your coping ability for in your worst case scenarios. For example, a lot of people are able to draw the distinction that if they are gay or bi it doesn't mean they would be obliged to do sexual things they aren't interested in doing or leave a happy relationship or not have a straight marriage etc. Not feeling like your fear would bring your life to an end is a very good motivator for treating it and getting your life back.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Scoggy Very well put, I’ve been trying my best to say that I can still get married even if I’m gay. Hopefully the sex problems will heal once I get more into ERP
- Date posted
- 5y
@Scoggy I think my biggest thing is trying to get over the hurdle of I’ll never have a good sex life with my partner, but you’re absolutely right, it’s ocd I need to address if I want to get better
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X Mind you, don't argue with the thoughts by saying that. Just know that it's true, and let that motivate you to avoid all compulsions:)
- Date posted
- 5y
@Scoggy Sounds about right. I am definitely afraid of finding out I am gay if I get better, it feels weirdly comfortable to just be constantly upset and not get help. But I’m only putting strain on my relationship and feeding my fears
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 8w
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
- Date posted
- 28d
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
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