ever since this morning I’ve literally been going insane. I’m black and I’m worried that if my mom gets pulled over at anytime she’ll get killed or we both get killed or I’d get killed. I’ve talked to people about this and I’ve been told “the police wouldn’t get me and my mom because we look mixed” or “we don’t look that black and we look hispanic so they won’t get us” or “you’re not black men so you won’t get shot.” Those things I’ve been told aren’t necessarily the best things to say to any black person. maybe it is true, maybe it isn’t, I don’t know, but I’ve been worried about it all day and idk how I’m gonna go to sleep tonight or even let this go. My mom has never had any problems with white cops, they’ve been relatively good to me and my mom and my brother so I’m not that worried. But what if we meet the wrong cop one day, idk.... I keep having thoughts telling me “we’re gonna die” and “I’m gonna get shot” it’s bugging me out. Ocd won’t let me get any sleep tonight, I know that. It’s all I can think about, and tik tok is no help whatsoever. All I see on my fyp is stuff about Minneapolis and burning buildings and people just talking about this whole situation. I’m very upset about it too, but judging from the anxiety I’m feeling, that’s the last thing I really need to hear about now. I could just get off tiktok but I’m gonna get anxious cause I’m not on it so I really don’t have a way out either way so...?✌?

I came across a video that was talking about a theory and it was something me and my friend were talking about 2 years ago and were tweaking about and i was explaining it to my girlfriend just now and them i started to get anxiety about stuff not being real and my world isn’t what it seems to be and that there stuff out there and then i started to have religious OCD and then it went to how Im scared of the world being fake or suffering from a mental illness like schizophrenia or something and stuff and I’ve been having OCD about my girlfriend being a government agent or that government agents are watching me cause I’m scared of schizophrenia and thinking like them i don’t think i actually think it i kinda just go to my girlfriend isn’t a government agent which scares me into thinking i was thinking she was or gonna think she is or idk if i just saying that to bot seem insane or something but like idk if i truly believe that i doubt it i don’t believe it any other time and then i started getting stress i might hurt or maybe kill her and it scares me cause shes my everything and I’m scared of losing her idk guys I’m getting stressed hella and I’m scared of myself and my OCD I’m genuinely tired of it like anyone can ask my girlfriend and she’ll say i cant go 5 mins without ticcing (from ocd) or asking for reassurance like that life is real and thats shes real and I’m real and nothings wrongs and stuff, i probably sounds crazy lmaoo maybe and the sucky thing is i don’t have a therapist or a thingy going on for me cause i don’t have a job and or insurance let alone.

Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!

I have been nervous about flying since I am going on a trip tomorrow and the thought of turbulence has unnerved me but I have been doing ok with that thought and slowly getting used to it. I have been looking at videos and articles explaining turbulence and what it is and why it happens and I have been feeling better about it. I go to bed and I am definitely tired. I am at that stage where I am falling asleep but still awake and all of a sudden I get a random anxiety hit feeling and a accompanying thought of "I wanna die!". I immediately wake up like I was just fighting for my life and I keep repeating the thoughts over and over wondering if that's what I want or something. I sort of calm down and try to sleep but now I am getting random thoughts from tv shows, music lyrics, and scenes from said shows playing in a random order. Feels like I am losing it and I can't focus. I am afraid I am having some psychosis or something which increases my anxiety. Any help or insight would be appreciated. I have had Suicidal OCD thoughts before but this one sort of hit different since I was partially asleep.