Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm getting through thisI'm getting ...
- Date posted
- 5y
I try to but I just looked up stories about people who realized they were gay later in life. I'm disappointed in myself those always trigger me. I can always find something no matter how small to relate to and end up thinking I'm gay.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
My new plan of attack is to delete YouTube/Reddit until I’ve got therapy under wraps enough to try exposure
starry duckstarry duck
- Date posted
- 5y
i get so scared that i literally can't because i'm scared that ill relate to them
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@stars I have some reasons why I fear I would be and it honestly tears me apart. Seeing those is enough to ruin me
starry duckstarry duck
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X Me too! I'm young and never dated anyone, but fell in love, had a few crushes (i think idk at this point), and i'm currently crushing on someone. However, OCD made it feel like I never liked them in the first place. I also recommend avoiding the sub-reddit, but use other forums like HOCD or OCD union.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@stars I’m not turned on by naked guys, But I’m turned on by naked women in porn This makes me so so so upset. This is the biggest hurdle I’ve faced to treatment
starry duckstarry duck
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X I might be too :( I'm not sure at this point, here's a helpful resource: https://jackieleasommers.com/2013/10/20/interview-with-a-former-hocd-sufferer/amp/
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@stars I love this resource!! It’s helped me a lot. I was reallllly little when I found porn and it was of course my dad’s stuff so.
starry duckstarry duck
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X I recommend avoiding any pornography during this time. Not trying to reassure you, women's bodies have been sexualized for centuries so it's common for people to be more "turned on." (As i'm writing this, I feel like I'm using this as an excuse lol)
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@stars Hahaha welcome to ocd. I am going to try. I think I need to commit to stop looking for reassurance. I think it’s only making it easier to find evidence that I’m gay or whatever. So, tomorrow I’m going to try so hard.
starry duckstarry duck
- Date posted
- 5y
@Yikes1000X Ikr!! Whenever I type about how I'm feeling, what's concerning me, and my OCD, the thoughts come in and I feel like all of this is an excuse ???
I'm getting through thisI'm getting ...
- Date posted
- 5y
@stars This blog helped and guided me to this app!!
I'm getting through thisI'm getting ...
- Date posted
- 5y
I found out about that and it devastated me! I thought all of my past crushes and attraction to men were all fake and forced. It totally made me feel like sh*t.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh yeah. I use when I first met my boyfriend to ground me when things get very upsetting, but reading that ruined everything
starry duckstarry duck
- Date posted
- 5y
I still have thoughts about society forcing me to like guys too :/ it has made me rethink all of my crushes. i get thoughts about this too :(( like "what if before you got HOCD, you've been in comphet"
starry duckstarry duck
- Date posted
- 5y
I now avoid those things
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
It ruined my entire day. Then I gave in to compulsions and was basically begging people online to tell me I can be with my boyfruend
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
I think you should write out a script about this, read it every day without performing compulsions, and see how you feel about material like this in 2-3 weeks. Finding a trigger doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You’ve discovered a great topic for exposure therapy.
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