I feel like I'm the only one on this app who struggles with alcohol. It's literally the only thing that stops my intrusive HOCD thoughts. How do u all cope with this disorder in a sober way. I'd love to hear ur responses because I truly want to live a happy sober life I just have no idea how to. I've been self medicating with alcohol everyday for the past 6 years.

Does anyone else use substances to escape your OCD spiral? A few years ago I never would have dreamed of it, until my OCD flared up during 2020. Now I use cannabis to calm my brain down which is dangerous for me as its 50/50 it'll calm me down or make me panic or will push me down the existential rabbit hole. Alcohol is a big one for me, too. Was asked to admit I was an alcoholic this year. Unfortunately, also a symptom of my OCD. When the guilt and paranoia is this extreme, I'd rather take the 50/50 chance than still in this deadly cycle. I might delete this if it causes me too much paranoia, but this is my first post here and I'm happy to meet all of you.

As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.

I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?