I've been told by a few people they think I have Real Event OCD..but before I go to speak to someone about it (I'm still anxious about doing so and don't know if I have OCD) I have a question. Can you have real event ocd if you did said events more than once? And its more than one event??? Or am I just a horrible person??? ( Sorry if my spelling or grammarIs bad!)

You were a child though, children do very strange things. It's completely normal for children to be curious and experiment. Under your circumstances aswel being sexually abused you were exposed to these things at a young age so you thought this was normal. I have a memory of trying to touch my niece down below because I was curious. I always wonder wether IIt was real or I imagined it But it still makes me feel terrible. OcD likes to eexaggerate a situation making it worse than what it is also memories are never exactly like we remember but trying to figure it all out or trying to self sabotage wont change what happened You and I know this isnt who you are now Everyday you wake up tell yourself you accept that you did bad thingst, even if this makes you anxious, accept it. Only by accepting it will you get better. I'm still battling with the same thing but by doing this I get a little bit better each day. Any time you need to talk just message me on here and I will talk to you, so dont hesitate. Another thing dont look ononline and compare yourself or look to see if otherothers have done the same thing. It will only fuel the OCD and people online are like trolls they like saying nasty things so this can make you feel worse x

Yeah well it's good you are stil close and he obviously hasnt been effected by it. Yeah well like I said I'm the same with the thing that happened with the dog it will always make me feel ashamed but it's not something I do now and neither do you. The thing is with porn it is so easy to watch, you didnt act on any of them now it's just something you watched, it's not like you have hurt a child or anything else.

You want to talk about it? I have the same problem

Yes that’s classic real event ! I can be a hole period of your life or anything. Ocd can attacks anything

Whole

Hi so I just want to let you know i have a similar experience with the dog I started letting my dog dry hump me when I was young. I'm not sure if I was abused or anything as I feel like my memory was vanished. Anyway fast forward to my early twenties I remember getting my dog to lick me down there while masturbating, I watched porn once too. I'm now 28 and honestly because I cant remember exactly wwhen I last done this my mind keeps trying to figure it all out. I know it was roughly 5/6 year ago but I still cant To this day understand why I thought it was normal as an adult to carry on doing something like that. So believe me when I say I totally know how you feel But I also believe when you say that is not who you are anymore because I know that's not what I want anymore it disgusts me. You just have to find it in your heart to accept that you thought it was right at the time and it just took you some time to figure out it was wrong. I havent had any therapy yet but I will when this lockdown shifts and I really think you should too as it will help you alot

How old are you now ?

Glad you feel a bit better and thankyou, like I say I feel even worse because I'm an adult so i felt I should have known better. Thankyou x

Thanks sweetheart. You sound like your feeling alot better today which is great x

Yeah ofcourse x

I know what you are going through, I do the same thing. I absoloutly hate peadophiles however recently since my mind tells me I'm like a peadophile because of what I did i somehow understand them.more Which I get really mad at because I dont want tto feel that way I want to be how I used to be when I would feel angry at them not feel like I relate to them. I think its it's because we feel like we ar one so we try and make our self feel better by saying what they did was redeemable. However we are nothing like them. They acted out on a child knowing it was wrong and most of them enjoy doing it and get a kick out of it. I also do the same thing feeling like every good or funny character on the telly is better than me like how can I be as good as them when I did these bad things, Like I put myself into a bad category but that's what OCD is trying to do. Non of us actually know if these so called "good" people havent done bad things its it's probably a case of they havent had OCD take over so havehavent felt the need to tell anyone about what they did. If my OCD hadn't of kicked in I would have never felt as bad about my situation or ever confessed itits it's only because it grabbed a hold of a memory i had always known about and amplified it and made it a problem x

I know I feel the same way but we cant change what's been done that's why we need to just accept it and give our self some compassion . We are changed people with a lit of love to give. How is your relationship now with your brother, you mentioned you and him were sexual when younger, have you spoke about this to him ?