I can’t stop feeling like what if a naked woman was in front of me?? Would I be turned on!? And I feel like the answer is like of course you would be! So I’m getting super anxious and I feel like my anxiety is trying to protect from the truth that I would want to hook up with a naked woman. I’m so anxious and upset over this thought, I can’t

I know, but I don’t want to be turned on by that. But my mind is like screaming “YOU KNOW YOU WOULD BE” but I don’t get turned on by naked guys so I’m so afraid this is proof. And it seems so loud and real and as though the ocd is just a shield I’m using to deny that I’m gay

@Yikes1000X if i see a naked pic of a guy, i’m not gonna get aroused. but if i see a naked pic of a woman, i will be. but i am still attracted to guys (im bisexual with a preference for guys). sexual attraction and romantic attraction can be separate. however, no matter how many times u tell ur self this, ocd will always twist it and use it as “proof”. just respond to the thoughts with “maybe this is proof that i’m a lesbian who cares” and then move on

@zoya ACAB I know, but the thing is I do find men physically attractive it’s just only a photo of a naked man isn’t enough for me and my ocd thinks that’s bad. I don’t know, you’re right it’s so upsetting to me. I don’t want my relationship with my bf to be doomed, I love him

@Yikes1000X And I don’t find women I meet to be physically attractive or get aroused by like a hot woman I meet, so I don’t think I’m bi but my ocd is going crazy just writing this

@Yikes1000X i know exactly how u feel. i used to struggle with hocd really hard but u just have to keep pushing. u got this!! don’t let ocd tell u what to do! u know u have a good relationship with a boy that u love. hold on to that!!

@zoya ACAB Thank you. I just wish I knew if I was suppressing being bi or gay. The worst part is sex is really hard for me with my bf and I hate it

@Yikes1000X I know you wouldn’t know, but does it sound like I’m bi? I’m really worried I am now.

@Yikes1000X I want to be clear: not that that is a bad thing, I know this is ocd

@Yikes1000X this sounds a lot like reassurance to me and i don’t want to make ur ocd worse so i’m just gonna tell u that i don’t know :(( even if this wasn’t ocd, i wouldn’t be able to give u an accurate answer because sexuality is a very personal and fluctuating thing. aside from ocd, it takes a long time to become comfortable with who u r sometimes and that’s okay! right now, u have to treat it as ocd. trying to figure out if ur bisexual or not is not gonna help u. even if u get a straight up answer ur ocd will only come back because it doesn’t work on logic

@zoya ACAB I know? did you come to the conclusion you were bi through HOCD?

@zoya ACAB It’s not even in terms of HOCD, but it doesn’t help that I can be turned on by nude women in a sexual context but I don’t feel attracted to women I know? So I mean in like a very real way

@Yikes1000X I mean like, I’m not attracted to women I know or anything; could it be repression? Just asking from someone who went through thus

@Yikes1000X i came out as bi when i was fairly young. i was about 11 or 12. i’m 19 now. my hocd made me question if i was a lesbian. again like i said, u can be sexually attracted to women without being romantically attracted to them

@zoya ACAB I understand, I just don’t feel physical attraction either or sexual unless it’s like porn

@zoya ACAB And ps thank you, I understand I kind of went off the rails, I let my ocd take control and I’m so sorry for bothering you

@Yikes1000X u don’t have to apologize!! i know exactly how it feels when ur in a state of panic like that. ur gonna be okay!! just focus on ur partner and how much u love him and hold on to that. don’t let ocd take that away from u

@zoya ACAB Thank you, I am curious though, do you think my arousal by women in sexual situations I.e. porn means I’m bi? I don’t see myself with women at all or think about sex with them, I’m wondering if this sounds like your story

@Yikes1000X im not gonna say yes or no but i will say a lot of straight women get off to lesbian porn

@zoya ACAB Understandable. It’s funny, talking to you has made me realize that I myself do not think I’m bi but still need reassurance just because of ocd. Even typing this I’m second guessing. It just goes to show how strong ocd is I guess

@Yikes1000X Wdym you mean by physically attractive? Do you mean aesthetic attraction? I'm confused, sorry.

@stars For what? Men or women?

@Yikes1000X Like I find women pretty but nothing else? Does that mean something?

@stars No. I mean if I meet a pretty girl, I think she’s pretty or I feel jealous. If I meet a cute boy and start to talk to him, I might want him to touch me or to kiss him. Unless it’s porn or erotica or blatantly sexual, I do not find myself attracted to women the way I do men. Even then, I still want a man as a partner

@Yikes1000X It sounds like aesthetic appreciation to me

@Yikes1000X Me too! But it's telling me that I've always been attracted to women. I'm pretty sure I never liked them or had a crush one. And it scares me because what if i find them sexually attractive :/ It's so scary!!!

@Yikes1000X And what is physical attraction? sorry.

@stars I mean like I said above, I had the same fear. And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t aroused by women in sexual situations, however, as someone pointed out above, lesbian porn is a thing and it doesn’t always have to mean something. I have been spending all night wondering if I want to have sex with a woman and worrying and then I realized it’s weird to worry about bc I don’t have to do something I don’t want to

@stars Physical attraction to me is like sexual, like I feel drawn to men I meet

@Yikes1000X My thoughts tell me I will enjoy it though that's the thing!! I absolutely hate it and don't want to be involved in anything like that, but it feels like I desire it. Before this, I never thought about those things and it scares me because what if i am repressing it? ?

@stars From my own experience, this sounds like textbook ocd. My brain also tells me during an episode that I want to have sex with a woman even though I’ve never felt that attraction outside ocd. What you’re going through sucks, but I think it’s only going to stop if you treat your ocd

@Yikes1000X Like I've only ever been attracted to males, never women. However, I also get thoughts about society forcing this label onto me. It's confusing!!!!! Ik it's so hard :(

@stars I think you’re having really bad anxiety atm and letting ocd get the best of you. I too have only felt things for boys I met and fantasized about being with them as you described. So I know in my heart, ocd is causing me to lose it right now. It sounds to me like you may be experiencing the same feelings. Take deep breaths

@Yikes1000X Thank you!! I'm still young and don't want this disorder to get to the best of me. I fear that the aesthetic attraction is just a cover up for some reason :/ Anyways, I hope you will get better too?

@stars I have had recurring ocd since I was 16. I’m still with my boyfriend and have experienced recovery before. I’m confident you can too. If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to

@Yikes1000X I'm 14 and turning 15 soon. It's very hard but i'm pushing through!! :)

@stars I had a very hard time coming to terms with being turned on by women in porn, and that that had to mean I was gay, but I think that the more you begin to trust yourself the better you feel. And with therapy, of course

@Yikes1000X I think everyone ultimately gets turned on by any sexual concepts but you're right. Your thoughts say otherwise ?

@stars Oh yeah. But as someone who’s been down this road before, it doesn’t last forever. But please help yourself and seek therapy and support. Without therapy when I first went through this, I’m not sure if I would have gotten better as quickly as I did

@Yikes1000X Totally!!! Even writing the stuff I did made it feel like I was lying to myself hahaha ? mood

@stars Lol welcome to ocd. I also suffer from rocd and cheating ocd so it’s never quiet lol. I had suicidal ocd very badly as a kid but luckily that’s kind of been gone for a while

@Yikes1000X I'm so sorry!! I mainly suffer from HOCD, but I also suffer from some others including false memories and mild magical thinking.

@Yikes1000X Just keep fighting!! I believe in you <3

@stars I believe in you too!! Keep me updated on your journey❤️