- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Happened once, I imagined someone dying and a few weeks later they died randomly. I knew that if I thought too much about it it could turn into just that kind of magical thinking loop, even though I didn't know I had OCD. So I've deliberately not ever dwelled on it, I occasionally have a thought about it or remember that it was eerie, but I refuse to spend extra time obsessing, so the feelings of anxiety and responsibility never got big and are easy to not dwell on. Rationally I know that reality doesn't work that way. I can see how it would be harder if it happened multiple times. That's a really sucky set of coincidences to happen to someone who already has OCD. But you need to go against it, yeah? In fact, deliberately thinking those thoughts would be the best way to quickly show your brain that the link isn't real. I'd actually recommend starting with things which feel less probable and less personal like "the USA could get nuked by North Korea and everyone will die", and working up to specific things like "my sibling could be hit by a car" and "one of my friends could fall down the stairs". Weirdly although the first one seems worse, it would probably cause less anxiety, so it could be a good lower step on the hierarchy for you. You know rationally that your thoughts can't make things happen, and you CAN prove that to your feelings. Go for something big and vague to start with, preferably something immediate. "A comet could hit the international space station today". Something that causes genuine anxiety because you're thinking it deliberately, but not a huge amount because it's also a bit ridiculous. Then response prevention: don't argue with it, don't imagine ways you could escape the disaster, don't ruminate on it, don't pray, just let that idea be there in your mind, and carry on with your day. Look at some lists online first about mental compulsions so you can identify all the things you mustn't do and be able to direct your attention away from doing them if you notice them starting. Tomorrow, boom, nothing happened. Then keep going, working up a hierarchy. The great thing about ERP is you don't have to start with flooding and scripting things which give you top tier anxiety, you can start with much lower ideas and build up your confidence as you go.
- Date posted
- 5y
You could even start with imagining things happening which aren't that bad, just a small bummer, those could make good lower hierarchy steps too.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Scoggy Thank you for this. I'm going to try. I like your idea of working my way up to the things that cause the most anxiety and compulsions. my family doesn't get it nor understands how I feel so its helpful to talk with people that at least understand its something I cant shut off.
- Date posted
- 5y
Or, maybe think hard about how awful it would be to win a $10M lottery (family, friends, et al, would be begging for money, you would become a recluse to avoid these people, you would die in a crash involving your cherished Maserati, etc.) and see what happens. But, maybe nore seriously, write down the names of a family member or two and state that you hope that the person(s) die in the next two weeks and then let us know what happens on June 15. We want to hear more evidence of your special powers.
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't have special powers. This isn't a laughing matter. You have no idea how terrible I feel and how much this affects my life. I was asking if anyone has had this and knows how to stop it. I know it's not logical but the brain does what it wants. Call me crazy if you want.. I'm used to it. I just asked for advice on how to fix things. You my friend do not help my situation.
- Date posted
- 5y
@nikkilynne02 He was suggesting things for your ERP hierarchy and challenging your OCD belief, not mocking you.
- Date posted
- 5y
@nikkilynne02 Sorry, I didn't mean to come off as condescending. I was only trying to illustrate a point with examples. I probably need to be more careful the next time.
- Date posted
- 5y
Not your fault. I'm really on edge with everything. My OCD and anxiety are seriously debilitating at times. I wish I could shut it off. I dont know anyone that has this and nor does my family understand anything I'm going through so I feel isolated and alone to deal with this. I have a counselor but with this stupid virus we can only do zoom meetings and I feel I don't get the help I'm looking for when it's all virtual. I hate this and hate feeling so miserable all the time. I just wanna feel normal. I wouldn't long for such a feeling had I not known what that felt like but I do. My OCD was manageable when I was younger as it was just silly odd things separating colors,counting ect. But about a year ago I started having harm ocd and its terrifying to say the least
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you have an OCD therapist who uses ERP?
- Date posted
- 5y
No. I have a regular counselor. I dont even know where to begin to look for one that specializes in ocd or erp
- Date posted
- 5y
Have you tried the International OCD Foundation website?
- Date posted
- 5y
No, never heard of it. I'll check it out. Hopefully it's something I can utilize
- Date posted
- 5y
You can search the IOCDF website for therapists located in the bigger cities in your state that have indicated that they specialize in OCD treatment using ERP.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi! Just got this app. I don't have an OCD diagnosis, but I have some traits, such as a constant obsession over a topic that causes me distress. Like, fears. It's been pedophilia, racism, global warming, death, secrets I've kept, suicide... Basically everything I don't like the idea of. Now, it's the obsession of my dad passing away. I've come to the realization that if my dad died right now - I'd have to move in with my mom, 2,000 miles away from home. Not only would I lose my district scholarship, which would ruin my plans of going to college, but the room at my mom's house would not be big enough to house all of my belongings, so I'd have to get rid of most my stuff. All of my dad's belongings (books, video games, clothes) wouldn't fit either. Not that my mom would be pleased with me showing up with all of my dad's stuff (they're divorced and not on speaking terms.) I try to counteract these thoughts with things like "dad is not under an active threat" or "even if dad died, I'd figure it out." But I'm still plagued with little jabs from my brain about it. Yesterday, my dad expressed his excitement for this year. He's gotten a new job, we're making more money, we're happy - having the last few years be ruined by my mom running away and other fun things along those lines; we deserve to be excited about this new opportunity. But then he said: "I think this year is gonna be our year." As his daughter, I should be thinking "yeah!" or "right on!", but the only thing that came to my mind was in season 4 of Stranger Things when Eddie Munson says "It's my year, '86, baby!" Before getting eaten by demobats in the upside down. This morning, while driving to school, my dad expressed his happiness about the VaultBoy bobblehead on the dash standing up (there's a magnet on the dashboard that helps him stand, and in our old car, it always fell over.) I just said normal things like "yeah, that's cool, I'm glad." But my mind told me "if dad died right now, would you have time to grab the bobblehead to keep to remember him?" which led to "if dad died right now, would you have time to say goodbye?" I try to push the thoughts away because I tell myself I'm gonna jinx it, and thinking about it manifests it. I try journaling and justifying why none of this would happen, but the thing is; if my dad died, I really would have to move in with my mom, wether I like it or not. I would lose my scholarship, wether I like it or not. Another thought process I have is: "I'd never expect it if my dad died, because in all the stories, it happens when you least expect it." It's like I'm playing a game with my brain, just waiting for the timing of circumstances to lead my dad to his death. I think about it - I manifest it, I don't think about it - it's gonna happen because I'm not prepared. How can I cope with this?
- Date posted
- 18w
I kind of doubt this is intrusive thoughts. I hope it is, but I somewhat doubt it. I have a prayer obsession that has been driving me CRAZY. I have spent like 10+ hours a day thinking about this, and there seems like no end in sight. I believe I’ve prayed for some bad things and meant it, partly as a result of this, so I’m stuck in this cycle and can’t accept uncertainty with it. When I was incredibly desperate during one of my classes and suicidal, the one thing stopping me from doing it, was that my parents would be devastated. I almost, I believe had the genuine urge to pray that they would die in a way that wasn’t my fault. I’m not even talking about intrusive thoughts. Unfortunately, the ocd did play one factor. It somewhat neutralized it, to say that in the conditions of the prayer, I could not be morally responsible at all for praying for it or the outcome. So this was something at that moment I somewhat wanted. I resisted, but came very close, which is disturbing. At the moment it happened and had that urge, I was so bad off that I felt like there was no hope (I wanted to do it when I got back from class, although I didn’t cause it’s scary), and I needed an escape. Unfortunately, this was the escape my mind presented. It also presented another escape that I believe has actually become something that I now view as an escape. I was worried about making a racist prayer in the beginning of the prayer obsession. My mind presented to me the scenario: “if all people of color suddenly died, you would feel so guilty, you would attempt suicide.” My mind also neutralized it to say if it happened, it could happen in a way that I wouldn’t be morally responsible at all for, including the prayer (which makes no sense). I believe I have thought of this so much, that not only has it become something I’ve started to see as an escape, but the worry about praying for it has actually made that particular situation something that stands out as an escape. The more I worry about it, the more guilty I’d feel if something like that happened (which obviously never will), so when thinking of escapes, that and the thing about my parents are in the forefront of my mind. I believe possibly my mind has driven me crazy to the point where I am actually capable of praying for these things. I have also had the urge to pray for things like world war 3 as an escape. I know it wouldn’t normally happen beyond ocd driving me crazy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.
- Date posted
- 16w
im scared. I keep compulsively praying for bad things or death on the people I love. I don’t understand why. It doesn’t make anything better. I’m scared that these prayers count. I seal them as I do with most of my prayers in Jesus name and with a double amen. I’m scared God will want to teach me a lesson and make something come true. I’m scared I mean these prayers, I’m petrified. If something happened, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself :( I don’t know where to go from here
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