alwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm struggling so much at the moment with my past event I was about 23 when I let my dog lick me down below I'm a mother ! I feel so ashamed of my self I remember I used to do these sort of things as a child aswel. I feel like I'm a terrible person
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
you are not alone. this seems to be something many people have done. please seek a therapist to talk about this. fellow people on this app have experienced this too. it’s just not talked about as much as other things. please, forgive yourself, practice compassion. if you knew better then, you wouldn’t have done it. everyone makes mistakes, we are all human. you’ve got this.
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
@AlwaysHere Yeah I've spoke to someone else about it and I feel like I dont judge others but I do to myself I think it's because most of the others were young where as I was an adult so I feel like had I of been caught I would have been arrested. The thought terrifies me
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
@b2192 yes, i was around 12-13 when i did stuff like that. but it’s okay, as long as you realize you were wrong now. you are okay.
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I'm in a waiting list for a therapist but been waiting a while. I only started to feel like this 2 month ago. I never ruminate about it befor. I've had to confess to my partner and family and I wish I could have just kept it to myself and not have OCD
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
what did they say? did they forgive you? we all feel that way.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Im glad I’m not the only one that thinks keeping it to myself would of been better
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
@rosie240 What makes you say this ? x
Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 5y
"You did the best you could with what you had." I like that one too.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
thank you so much.
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
of course.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
we all make mistakes :) you know now that it’s not right and that’s the most important thing.
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
exactly! hoping one day I will find someone who believes this just as much as I do when I fall in love. :)
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm just so scared I feel like everyone is just trying to make me feel better by saying I can forgive my self but I feel like a paedophile, like I feel like how could he consent to that like I abused him its killing me
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
i understand, please seek a therapist. a sex positive one at that! things will get better dear.
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
I know, I guess I just feel like I need another perspective
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
i understand, if you ever feel like you can’t handle things, you can always call a hotline, or use the free nocd call. just know, you are not alone. seriously though, if you have the money & time, invest in a therapist. a lot of people on this app cant get one due to certain circumstances. if you have it, use the privilege you have to get one.
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah they all said it was natural to experiment and my sister said her freind done it My partener was a bit taken back at first but he says it doesnt bother him yet I still cant get it out of my head Like I feel so guilty especially on my children that there own mother would do something like that. We have the same dog and it kills me knowing I did that
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
i’m so sorry. atleast they were all forgiving. things will get better. i promise. just keep your head up. you aren’t a terrible mother, your children don’t have to know. nobody has to know. you made the choice to tell the people you love, you didn’t have to though. confessing is a compulsion. don’t worry, try petting the dog and spending time with it. don’t stay away from it. don’t fear it. this will make your anxiety worse.
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
Thankyou Yeah I still look after him and spend time with him, just sometimes it's harder when my thoughts are worse. Like I feel so much guilt. I know a dog is nothing like a child but my mind keeps telling me that and it makes me feel terrible, and then I see people write on social media etc that there dog is there baby or like a child and I just think omg what does that make me doing things like that
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
i understand, that’s good. practice compassion with yourself. we all feel guilt. seems like yours has turned into shame. which is much worse. don’t think about your children and dog as the same. this will make you have POCD. don’t focus on your children. this isn’t about them. this is about your dog. just stay strong. you have people who care about you. just wait for the therapist, and take a break from things for awhile if you have to.
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I do have the pocd thoughts aswel, but manage them better as I know they aren't true. I think because I know this happened that it's harder to deal with I try to figure out dates and times and did I remember it exactly the same and I know I shouldnt do this but it infuriates me that I done this I sometimes feel like I wasnt even aware I was doing it, like I'm watching someone else
b2192b2192
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you think it is the same as a paedophile?
alwaysherealwayshere
- Date posted
- 5y
I am not answering this. I will only be reassuring you. I am not supposed to do that, it will only make things worse. PLEASE, get professional help.
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