i don’t see this as a sign of my ocd bc it doesn’t cause me any anxiety, but sometimes i wonder if it’s possible that i have autism? i know i can’t self diagnose and i won’t, but i sometimes entertain the possibility. i also just wanted to find somewhere to put it out there bc i don’t feel i can’t talk to anyone in my offline life about it. i somewhat identify with some of the associated behaviors (NOTE- i got this from a google search. they might not be accurate, or representative of how people actually experience autism. i admit i don’t fully understand the realities of autism) like stimming. my interests vary, but i usually maintain one interest at a time and put all of my energy into that interest. sometimes i’m overstimulated by sound. the most recent examples i have- anytime i’m in the silent study room at my university and people are whispering, or tapping their foot (or similar repetitive behaviors) or eating something (and i can hear chewing, etc.) i can’t focus and i get really frustrated to the point where i have to leave the room because it stressed me out to the point of crying and having to call my mom to vent. this past weekend, i went with some family to visit other relatives. my cousin took us out for the day and when we got back, the adults were having a small get-together with drinking and loud music and it went on for over an hour. i had to sleep on the couch due to the amount of people in the house (didn’t care tbh), but couldn’t until people left and they turned the music off. i wasn’t all that tired (i stayed up for hours after people did finally leave), but i was so frustrated and upset and after pacing circles and circles in the living room, i ended up crying in the bathroom upstairs calling my mom. in both the study room situations and in the latest situation, i had to cover my ears as best i could). these incidences may be related as well (but can’t really say, as i was like 4), but i also remember in pre school, my teacher was trying to teach us to draw shapes. she made a layer of shaving cream on the desk (not sure why she used this method). i remember crying and getting very upset over this (again could just be four year old things) because i didn’t wanna touch it at all, but she grabbed my hand and made me (fun- not). i don’t have any present issues with touching shaving cream. (this is something that might not be at all applicable to this discussion, but emotionally i’ve developed somewhat slower than my peers. i played and enjoyed playing with dolls until around 14.5 yrs old.) and my parents have told me i used to bang my head on the wall- which i do believe i have a memory of doing- and that people in our family thought i might have autism. and i’ve always felt like a bit of an alien when it comes to interacting with people my age. like, i don’t share their interests. i often don’t know how to respond or talk to people when they text me, i feel utterly and horribly awkward in how i hold myself and do things like eat, i miss social cues sometimes, and i generally feel that i don’t know how to act or speak or really get to know people. i recognize that i’ve essentially made a list of reasons why i could be autistic instead of a comparative list of reasons why i might not have autism. i am not attempting to self diagnose, but i’m wondering if i should consider talking to a specialist. i also apologize sincerely if i have said anything that could or does cause harm to people with autism, if i have misrepresented what people with autism deal with or how they feel, and vow to remove this post the second that i am made aware of any potential damage.