I recently broke up with a friend of mine...and even though it’s been hard I’m ready to get over it but I keep obsessing over it. I keep trying to find things to do but my mind just won’t give me a break and it’s getting really annoying. I’ve talked out my feelings, wrote it out and much more but it’s not good enough I’ve been praying for DAYS...literal days begging God to make the thoughts stop and...clearly judging by this post my prayers haven’t been answered Emotionally I am okay about it and I’m ready to get over it but mentall my OCd is not budging...ugghhhh.

Both I think...I had a thought last night to send her one last message and I did and this morning I felt bad about it so I just blocked her and deleted the message before she could even see it

but mostly obsessing about it

@ocdgirl$ummer If your thoughts sound like the paragraph below, those are ruminating compulsions, not obsessions Ruminating on the fear of cutting off your hand would sound like "arghh!!! I hate that thought. I'd never do that... Would I? Remember that time as a kid at camp when I burned myself on a smore, maybe that was intentional and I've just tricked myself into believing it was an accident. How can I know for sure? I'd better think some more. I had that dream about my arms falling off, maybe that's a sign. But I hate gory movies... How could I want to chop my hand off if blood disgusts me. That's good, I probably won't do it. NO I WONT do it!.... But maybe I should hide the knives just in case. My therapist says this is OCD. She's really knowledgeable, but I still have a niggling doubt. Better start googling to see if people have similar symptoms. How horrible would it be if I did ERP and then actually DID cut my hand off. Has anyone's OCD fear actually come true? Let's ask people.... I'm going to imagine it again to see if I was really scared. OH GOD!!! MY HEART DIDN'T RACE THIS TIME! that must mean it doesn't scare me. I'm gonna do it, I just know it! But I don't want to! I'll let my husband do all the cooking from now on. And do some more googling to see if the fear comes true...."

@NOCD Advocate - Katie okay so last night it was a ruminating compulsion then and then the rest of the time it was just obsessions. ...last night I said a prayer asking God to give me a sign and I texted my other close friend telling her that I wanted to send my other friend one last text just to apologize even though we didn’t do anything wrong but I felt like I needed to apologize. So I had a thought that said, God is telling you to text her one last time. So I believed it and I did it and this morning the anxiety of her answering or of her not answering was getting so intense that I just hid our messages and blocked her so I wouldn’t have to see it. And after getting it off my chest I’ve been able to move on from one part but the bad thing is...I keep feeling guilty that I even sent the message last night and I just feel dumb, not so much embarrassed cause it is what it is. But I just wish I didn’t do it

@ocdgirl$ummer You're regretting your choice. It's difficult because we can't rewind time and undo things. You're forced to sit with the feeling