- Date posted
- 7y
- Date posted
- 7y
I have hocd you I’m sure you know what it is but somethings that helped me was stay away from the internet not in general just stay away from looking up articles and stories because that never helped me and also don’t test yourself what I would do to test my self was see if I could get an erection from gay thoughts and even gay porn never got an erection to either but my mind always still makes me question and one more thing is just live with uncertainty and go to a therapist for erp
- Date posted
- 7y
I’m bi & worry if I really care about my male partner because I’m actually a repressed lesbian, so I can relate a little. It seems like ERP could be the way to go with this! I’ve heard it responds well to it.
- Date posted
- 7y
(Comment died) and worry about similar stuff! It seems like ERP is the way to go with this, since theorizing yourself out of it is just a compulsion most of the time.
- Date posted
- 7y
I wanna add that sometimes people act like comp het is something to cure or realize your way out of, but it’s not: like homophobia, it’s a social force that always exists.
- Date posted
- 7y
So like, never feel bad about struggling with it, just like you wouldn’t judge yourself for struggling with homophobia or sexism!
- Date posted
- 7y
Know the feeling ...
- Date posted
- 7y
It’s called sexual orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 7y
Also hocd will never be rational I even started to push away straight thoughts and feelings when ever I would find a girl attractive my mind would say what if you’re not really attracted to her then i would get discouraged and would push the feeling of attraction away so I don’t get the thoughts but whenever I would test my self and not get an erection my mind would go to it’s cause you’re supressing it gay thoughts to me is like thinking of a chair it doesn’t do anything to me
- Date posted
- 7y
The book Pure by Rose Brotecher is extremely helpful for feeling less alone! The author writes about her experience with this.
- Date posted
- 7y
Spencer, it’s a memoir of Rose about her childhood path into adulthood trying to figure out if she is straight or attracted to women and how she accepted that type of OCD. She is funny, relatable, and provides good insight. It’s nice to read because A. It makes it very clear that she’s sick and her responses help solidify that your thoughts are purely Obsessive so you feel less alone and B. Helps give advice for how to cope. Her Instagram is Rose Cartwright!
- Date posted
- 7y
I have ocd around being gay when I’m not. So I understand what you’re going through and I’m sorry. Just know there’s tons of lgbt people with it too that I’ve seen so you’re not alone. Erp will totally help you with thus
- Date posted
- 7y
@kdot what does the book talk about?
- Date posted
- 7y
Is her book online for free?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 11w
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
- OCD newbies
- Transgender OCD
- False Memory OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Students with OCD
- Date posted
- 8w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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