So I just learned about romantic and physical bisexuality and I’m a little worried. I like guys and always have (though I doubt it a lot) and would prefer to have sex with one. I’d want to marry one too. But I find women sexually attractive. I just don’t wanna have sex with them. I don’t think I’ve ever found one romantically attractive either. My TOCD plays into this a lot too saying if I were a guy, I would want to have sex with a woman, which is hard. Like, I don’t want to have sex with a woman as a female, but I would as a guy? Idk, I think too much! I just worry I have internalised biphobia and I’m afraid to come out. I’d be worried my friends would think of me differently. But at the same time, I don’t even know if I am bi so why would I have to come out? It’s just weird because OCD is playing into it but I’m worried it’s also partly not OCD.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 5y

Comment deleted by user

garden

Date posted: 5y

I think I genuinely do and kinda always have. When I was a kid I was so curious about women’s bodies and boobs especially (sorry maybe TMI!!). And my friends did too so I always thought it was normal. But then as I grew up and began to watch porn and stuff I realised I genuinely do think I get aroused by big boobs. And I’ve read in places that that’s not abnormal but idk I feel like I’m making excuses for myself.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@garden Hey I have HOCD and can relate to what you’ve said. Like you, I don’t want to have sex with women, it’s basically just porn. I am in a loving relationship and am nearing my wedding date. I would focus on how you feel with men you’re with. I’m in love and try to use that to ground me rather than spend days obsessing about what I could be

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@Yikes1000X Also - I would get off this app if you feel the need to get reassurance!

garden

Date posted: 5y

@Yikes1000X Congrats on your (soon) wedding!! Yes you’re right. I should stay grounded. And this app is deffo a place I try to get reassurance from so thanks for calling me out on that! I often try to hide it

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I do struggle a lot with intimacy. I’m constantly on guard, like what if I’m not turned on enough, will a woman pop into my head, and if I get intrusive thoughts about women we stop all together. Im pretty terrified of sex bc of ocd but I’m trying to get over it! And @garden, I wouldn’t worry. We have anxiety. Normal people have these thoughts too but since they’re like I only want to date and have sex with men who cares. And thats what I try to think about. I have 3 sisters and they’ve helped me a lot. Try mindfulness and if you can, do your best to starve your ocd of reassurance

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@ta I think your ocd is really testing you right now. I would try to stop seeking reassurance and if you can, read about CBT and ERP. It sucks so much, but even if you’ve never thought about women like that, ocd will not let you off the hook. It doesn’t listen to logic. You’ve got to be aggressive in therapy

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@ta I’ve been dealing with it since I started dating my SO. It sucks, but it can’t possibly last forever. If it causes you pain and hinders your ability to live, it’s probably ocd

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@ta Same here. It’s going to be okay

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