- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi. You’re not alone, I have a lot of the same thoughts. You’re not crazy either; it’s the OCD making you feel like that. It’s worse at night for me too. I know it can be really hard to relax when you have intrusive thoughts. I don’t know what might help you, but for me I sometimes listen to podcasts or mediations and sometimes it makes the thoughts calm down a little. I hope maybe it will help you too. I want you to know that you’re not alone, and it won’t always be like this. Be well.
- Date posted
- 5y
I've never been so open about this and I'm literally crying because I thought that I'm the only one. This means so much. It's a really great idea. I've noticed that I become more calm when I listen or watch something. I guess I just feel more stressed when I'm alone.
- Date posted
- 5y
I totally understand you I'm just like you when I was younger I was scared of ghosts or something like that and like you as long as I remember myself I'm always scared of somethings but I'm not afraid of roller coasters or somethings like that for example now I'm scared of what if I became psychopath or schizophrenic or something like that so don't think that you're alone in this I hope you will get better soon
- Date posted
- 5y
I have a friend who I believe has OCD but isn't diagnosed, she's exactly the same and can't stand being left alone or being in the dark, she also gets feelings that she's being watched if she is alone and gets hyper aware of her own behaviour. I'm very confident that with exposure to the stuff that scares you and finding that you can survive all of it, you can become a really confident and flexible person. Remember, courage isn't the absence of fear, it's doing what's best in spite of the fear. You don't have to feel stupid or ashamed.
- Date posted
- 5y
I still suffer with the same theme. I currently have hocd on the front of my mind, but from like 11 on I stopped being able to comfortably sleep alone because I was afraid that I would wake up and see something standing over me. Creepy shit DID happen in my house, but nothing ever, ever, ever happened that should have made me react like that. I still hate sleeping alone it fucking terrifies me. As a teenager I would call my friend at like 1:00 AM to come get me so that I didn't have to sleep in a room alone. Now I live with my boyfriend and when he gets up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night I always wake up and have to cover my head with the blanket because I get scared. From the ages 11 to only like a year ago I alway used to have to sleep with my head covered with my blanket. If I sleep at my parent house I still have to. It's weird If I go literally anywhere other than my parents house that sleeping with the blanket over my head ritual goes away. It was really bad because I would get so hot under the blanket that I'd always wake up in a pool of sweat.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know exactly how you feel. I'm also scared to go to sleep. Sometimes I'm so so tired but I just dont try to fall asleep because I dont want to close my eyes. Sometimes i just see some messed up images in my head and I leave a light on because it makes me not that scared. I go to sleep like at 4 o'clock because then there is morning light outside, so I feel more comfortable.
- Date posted
- 5y
@LaBeta When I lived with my parents and that theme was really bad I used to stay up late because I would get caught up watching videos on my phone and stuff like that. If I realized that I wanted to go to sleep and it was too close to 3:00 AM I would force myself to stay awake until daylight broke as a compulsion.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im really scared of ghosts and feel paranoid at times :( I’m 21
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So I know I've talked about my fear of being hacked/watched without my knowledge and at the same time that same fear has also made me scared that i've said incriminating things or confessed to a crime I didn't commit out loud without realizing and that this person (who probably doesn't even exist) is going to use it against me in the future and ruin my life. To the point where I've covered all my device cameras. Yeah, I know. Incredibly outlandish. Anyways. The past few months it's just been my brain convincing me that my life is over or that it's going to end and not just end, but like I'm going to lose everyone that I love because of said "incriminating things" though I know I haven't done anything wrong. Of course, there's a part of me that realises that this is really unlikely because I'm not that important of a person for someone to lie in wait for decades and decide to ruin my life just because though I don't doubt that there are people like that out there (i really hope they're few and far between). However, there's another part of me that also really believes that this is all true. And sometimes I wonder if I'm going insane. Coupled with what I believe are false memories, the anxiety has been taxing every day. And I find it hard to sit with uncertainty because this worst case scenario terrifies me. I'm scared of being unloved and abandoned and also deathly afraid of being perceived as a bad person. And of course, also scared of being a bad person and my brain is convinced that I must be. Anyways. Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. I wanted to share because I know that OCD or I guess any kind of mental illness (whatever it is I'm suffering from if it isn't OCD) likes to convince us that our fears are too niche and that this worry wouldn't be present if it wasn't real. OCD likes to use that as proof. I've learnt though that there are many people like me on this app, and even though it's still scary, it makes me feel less alone. It can be very tiring and honestly sometimes I ask myself how I'm still here even though it's been a few months and some people on here have experienced episodes like this for years or even decades. I keep hoping I'll wake up one day and it will be like this never happened. If you've taken the time to read this incredibly long waffle session of mine that's more like a drawn-pit diary entry, thank you. And if you feel comfortable with sharing, please do :)
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
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- Real Events OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 23w
I am so scared of everything .Of my thoughts.If I am a good person.Years ago I didnt help a kid who was in danger.Since then I started to have terrible thoughts :( i am so terrified.I still have these thoughts and I am scared it means something about me .I really dont want to hurt anyone and I want to help that kid now but idk how I can now.Also I am scared I betray everyone.I still have terrible thoughts and when I am with someone I care is worse...idk why.For example I started to talk with a collegue and he is really nice to me.I told him some things abt me( not the intrusive thoughts) and he was supportive.I have no idea if I will tell anyone abt my thoughts..and bcs of that I feel like I lie to them and betray them.I really want to enjoy my life and be happy and support people( especially because I didnt help that kid then).I want to live up to my morals now but I feel like I lie and manipulate people bcs I am a monster.Is this normal? To feel this way? What can I do? What if I am my worst fear and just cant accept it?!
- Date posted
- 21w
I am trying to see if there are others like me. For the past 12 years, I’ve had crippling Anxiety that leads to intense panic attacks. I’ve been in and out of Ambulances and ER rooms and have called 911 several times. The panic is that intense. I can be just driving down the road and out of no where, BOOM! Hit by the anxiety bus. Most of the time it leads to me panicking, thinking I’m going to die or something is fatally wrong with me. The fear is so intense that I can only find a fraction of calmness by consistently checking my blood pressure, putting on a pulsometer and even checking my blood sugar until it passes. I’m not even a diabetic. I’m always having intrusive thoughts that doctors can’t even fix me. I’ve never met anyone else like me. I feel so scared sometimes that I’m going to loose my mind and that I’m going crazy and will end up in a straight jacket. Then I get another attack just thinking about that as well. Starting new medications freak me out too. If I experience ANY minor side effect, I immediately panic and freak out. I’m being so held back by this . This is a constant obsession that I can’t shake. It’s like I walk hand in hand with Anxiety and panic. Anyone else ever had these issues?
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