canigetawitness
- Date posted
- 5y
catmomcatmom
- Date posted
- 5y
Sometimes triggers can just be a intrusive thought itself. Do you mind me asking what kind of OCD you have so I can give you an example of an exposure? It’s totally okay if you don’t feel comfortable sharing!
canigetawitnesscanigetawitness
- Date posted
- 5y
Sure, I don't mind sharing. I actually have the description saved from where I tired to explain to my Mom. Here it is: I went to get cloth to clean visible fingerprints off TV. Before wetting cloth, my mind said "You need to pump soap on that cloth and rub it on your TV screen for a theraputic exposure." I thought, "That's a weird thought. I'll just use water. Soap isn't meant to be rubbed on TV screens." Then, after wiping fingerprints off TV my mind says "Did I actually pump soap onto that cloth and rub it on the screen? I can't remember." The following is the cycle: Now, what do I do? Do I need to rub soap on my TV or leave it alone? If there's soap on my TV, shouldn't I get a cloth to remove it? Do I need to rub soap on my TV or leave it alone? If there's soap on my TV, shouldn't I get a cloth to remove it? If I'm not putting soap on my TV, I'm not following correct ERP. Because you wouldn't want soap left on your TV, you need to do that. If you don't, you're a bad person. I need to follow the therapy. If there's soap on my TV, shouldn't I get a cloth to remove it? Do I need to put soap on my TV or leave it alone? ^ These thoughts are intertwined like Twizzlers, tieing the knots so tight, confusing & hard to make sense of what's going on. My keeps saying "if it makes you uncomfortable/you don't like it/don't want it that way, you have to do it", so I feel like my mind is taking exposure very literally and extreme and I get very confused about what to do/what I am doing. I'm sorry if that was a lot, it's the best way I can describe the internal tanglement.
catmomcatmom
- Date posted
- 5y
Exposure can definitely be a lot! I think you were on the right track though! So in this case, the trigger was just the “I can’t remember?” Then you obsessed over what you should do, whether you put soap or not, what does that say about you as a person, etc. A proper exposure would have been: “Did I put soap into the TV & rub it in? I can’t remember. Oh there’s my ocd! Maybe I did put the soap on the TV, maybe I didn’t. I’ll live with the uncertainty that I might have & move on.” and then don’t make any attempt to reclean the soap (if there was any) off of the tv, otherwise your brain will reinforce that the compulsion of ruminating was useful & will do it again. Feel the uncertainty that not engaging with the thought brings you & continue on with your day. Hope this is helpful!!
canigetawitnesscanigetawitness
- Date posted
- 5y
@catmom That did help, thanks. It's almost like I can see where I'm getting stuck, but OCD puts "exposure assignments and you need to do this and that" in the mix, which makes things confusing. I guess like you said, the answer is to let those thoughts be and try not to do compulsions.
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