can you be against something now, that you used to be okay with?

i have too but it’s like my ocd is trying to tell me i cant ://

@ocdsvcks Why? X

@loola TW// INCEST it’s a long story. i used to have sexual thoughts about my mom and they would arouse me. i used to not think anything of it because this was before i had ocd so i knew that i wasn’t attracted to my mom, i just responded to a sexual stimulus. so i didn’t really care that they aroused me. but now that i have ocd, old memories of these things and the thoughts i used to have are popping back up like when i sat outside my mom’s exam room and pictured her getting a vaginal exam and i got aroused. or when i was a child and i actually did go into the exam room with her and watched her while the doctor did her thing, later on it aroused me too. it makes me disgusted that i would have these thoughts and be okay with them. now, i’m COMPLETELY NOT OKAY with them at all. i never EVER had the urge to commit incest AT ALL. i want to make that clear that my arousal was not based on attraction. i read up on it, and it said that your body reacts to sexual things regardless of whether u want it or not. but my ocd is making it seem like this means i’m attracted to her and that i wanna commit incest even though that’s completely against my morals. i never once thought of having sexual relations with my mom ever but my ocd is trying to convince me that i’m okay with incest. i hate it

@ocdsvcks I don’t think this is a case of your morals and thoughts changing, I think you’ve always been against this and the OCD telling you differently has just gotten stronger. I agree, sexual stimulus can trigger reactions without actually being attracted to the person for sure.

@loola i guess u are right. i think before, i was just more naive and didn’t think twice about being aroused by it. like i always knew it was wrong but i was kinda like “it’s whatever i don’t really care”. i didn’t fight it. but yeah i agree that u can be sexually aroused by something without being attracted to it. thank you!

@loola HAHAHHAHA yes! plus all of these things happened before i got into my first relationship that i’m in rn and i had never had sex before so it was just my hormones going crazy i guess

@ocdsvcks Oh yeah you’d just be so weirded out about bodies at that age that anything you don’t normally see seems super XRATED & new etc, your reactions might of been nothing but nerves tbh!

@loola exactly! cause looking at it now absolutely horrifies me and disgusts me lol!!! like why would i ever do that! i know any normal person would just push it away and move on, knowing their true values and morals but i hate that ocd twists things and makes everything more complicated than it already is

@ocdsvcks That’s one of ocd’s trademarks! It will attach to and twist just about any situation to put a negative spin on it. This is something I’ve learned time and time again but still catches me out

@loola We’re you able to talk to family about this?

@Anonymous About what sorry?