My HOCD is insisting that I have gay sex and that I'll like it, however I've previously always been disturbed at the thought of engaging in it. Idk wtf to do anymore. I'm so over it.

Think it’s done it to me, when I first saw it it’s made me sick, the more I checked the more real it now feels

Agreed, however gay porn can be good for erp if you can watch it and let the anxiety just Be there and not try to get rid of it. Also too, you say that you “previously been disturbed” by it. That’s a sounds like rumination. You have to stop ruminating about it

@cam332179 Thing is tho like it’s not disgusting anymore

@frghtfdfh Honestly in a way that’s like reverse erp. Like think about it this way, when people get married, they’re in the honeymoon lovey-dovey phase. But does that phase last forever? Of course not! That doesn’t mean they hate each other or they want to divorce or that their wedding was a sham. It actually doesn’t mean anything. Simply they’re just not in that phase of marriage anymore. Not being disgusted just means you’re just over exposed and your mind is still numb to porn. The problem is that you think there’s a problem and you need certainty to solve it. Just remember there’s no problem. Sexuality is just sexuality. You have to embrace the uncertainty of not knowing

I’ve never came over a man

What do u mean

@frghtfdfh Krkrk sorry my english isnt perfect. I mean that when somebody is gay they dont question it by checking again and again. So with ocd and the need of checking again and again to see if ur attracted it shows that the real problem is more about dealing with certainty than sexuality. Idk if im clear omg

@jj19 ^^!! exactly. it’s not a sexuality problem, it’s an ocd problem and to get rid of this, u need to stop checking ur arousal levels everytime ur faced with a trigger. watch gay porn as the exposure but the response prevention part would be to not check ur attraction

@SteelersFan1998 It’s not a bad idea if you’re able to do it not as a compulsion. Gay porn is just gay porn, it’s your perspective and reasoning for watching it that makes the difference

@SteelersFan1998 I can agree with that, but if you can watch porn while catching yourself when you start to wonder then worry, then you’re essentially doing erp. The trick is staying present and not following the what if train

@SteelersFan1998 most ocd specialist dont suggests watching porn for erp

@zoya ACAB Yeah, but what you did in the past can be evidence or signs according to OCD so I'm scared

@pure093 Nooo, gross!! Sorry what you said kinda trigger me a bit. I don't want to do ANYTHING with the same-sex. I used to watch weird things throughout my childhood and I'm scared that it must be a sign or something. I've only ever liked boys but my OCD tells me that I never liked guys. I'm so lost and confused .....