When you've given it your all, tried therapy many times & taken meds, but find no relief, what are the next steps? I'm tired of time passing me by while I'm in a tremendous amount of physical/emotional pain on a daily basis. Part of me wants to take to the streets screaming for my life, as dramatic as that may sound, it's what I'm feeling inside.

Thanks, I'll try this. It also does the same thing in the shower. Like the initial worry was "What if I've left soap lathered on me and don't know?" And then my mind jumped to "Okay, now you have to lather yourself in soap, never rinse it off each time you shower." So it's almost like it's shifted to now when I take a shower I'm worried I'm just lathering myself in soap and don't know it because my mind said I need to do it for therapy. When I think sitting with the thought "Maybe I'm lathered in soap, maybe not" like the original obsession was and not doing the compulsion should be enough. Sorry if I'm rambling. OCD is getting really tricky and it's hard to see what's going on sometimes.

@canigetawitness No need for apologizing. I have been there so many times and I kniw how twisted it can be. Sometimes I just stare the fear in the eyes and make the statement "I decide what to do! Not you!" Dont make it too complicated, to analyze the tools to much. Dont let OCD drive the bus so to speak. It can tell you whatever but you are in the drivers seat. Something that helps me a lot is to make a plan and a decision forehand. For example "tomorrow when I take a shower I kniw I will get stuoid messages from my OCD to leave a lot of soap on my body, I will just notice that thought, but I will not obey and I will not argue, just allow it to be there.

@Estrid Thank you. That's a good idea, being prepared for it to come & knowing how to respond ahead of time. I do get caught up in the tools, how much to use them, how far I need to go to make myself uncomfortable, etc. Im going to try and work on just allowing the thoughts for now. Thank you & Katie for your support.

@canigetawitness Wish you the best. And dont hesitate to serach for therapy again. Or discuss medication with a dr. There is hope.

I think erp is complicated if you veiw it as a set of unconnected exercises. It quickly gets confusing. However, if you have a working understanding of the concept of ERP, it becomes a tool you can adapt to your specific situation.

@NOCD Advocate - Katie One of my obsessions is "What if I smeared soap all over my TV screen & don't know I've done that?" And my compulsion is to look and see, sometimes get a damp cloth with water to wipe it down. I'm confused on how ERP would be applied here.

@canigetawitness Can you explain to me how you understand ERP to work? If we start there, it will help you see how to get to the specific practices

@NOCD Advocate - Katie From a basic standpoint, I think ERP is supposed to be about allowing yourself to experience an obsession & then not doing the compulsion. I also know it's about creating on purpose situations to make you anxious. I guess to be exposed to your fear and then wait until it naturally lessens without doing anything, proving to yourself you can handle the exposure assignment.

@canigetawitness Yes, you've got the gist. Exposure is intentionally triggering an obsession. Doing exposure creates opportunity for Response Prevention, which is where we actually rewire our brains. Response Prevention is when we choose not to engage in compulsions. It allows us to feel our emotions as they rise and fall naturally. We can learn a few different lessons through ERP: that we can handle uncomfortable feelings and be ok, that uncomfortable feelings fade, that we overestimate how uncomfortable a task will be, and (sometimes) that the outcome we fear doesn't happen

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Thank you, that makes sense. I'm having trouble learning how to apply it to my specific obsessions and compulsions. For example, one my intrusive thoughts/obsessions is "you need to rub a moderate amount of soap into your TV". And I think that's a weird thought, and my compulsion is to figure out if I've done that. So I'm trying to figure out if I rub soap into my TV or just let the original thought/obsession be and not do the compulsion.

@canigetawitness I don't think you need to actually rub the TV with soap. Exposure tasks could be things like touching the screen after quickly washing your hands, putting a sign with a question mark next to the screen, or setting a bar of soap next to the TV. Response Prevention is not checking or figuring it out. So when the "what if" thought comes up, responding with "yeah, maybe I put soap on the screy. Oh well"

@NOCD Advocate - Katie That makes sense. Yeah, I think sitting with the thought and not doing the compulsion could count as ERP. A part of my mind also tells me that it's not enough ERP and that just sitting with the original obsession & not doing the compulsion is wrong.