How can I do ERP with real event OCD? I feel like it doesn't work to say "it could happen" because it already happened! Any suggestions?

Honestly I wish that was the problem I had in my real event. Like you've done nothing wrong I'm saying that in a good way Your OCD has seriously blown that event out of proportion and made it 1000x worse than it even is Everyone fantasises . Your fine

The feeling of leacing an important thing behind or ignoring someone is a great discription. I think you're talking about the feeling of no closure- without reassurance you just feel exposed and kinda raw, like you can't move on because there's more to be done. It's this very uncomfortable spot that you can do the ERP treatment. Relax and let the feelings be. The job of ERP isn't to convince yourself of anything nor is it to agree with your thoughts, it's to let your thoughts be until they aren't there any longer.

You stop analyzing it and stop confessing it. The exposure would be the initial remembering and the pang of guilt. The respinse prevention would be to sit with it without judging how bad it was, reasoning with it, telling someone about it, ect. Just sitting with it.

I am so sorry...It must feel horrible. And I can imagine that you are giving yourself a really hard time. I can't solve your problem but I think I can say the same thing to you that you said to me. Whatever you do, good or bad or grey, you still have this inner child in you. Watch pictures of yourself when you were little. This little girl is still inside you. She makes mistakes, she grows, she evolves but deep inside there is still this little girl and even though you did some things that don't accord to your values, you can't beat this inner child up forever. You gotta care for yourself amd you deserve it. You are not a bad person just because you made a mistake ❤️

The fact that it feels extremely difficult to let it be is the difference. That's OCD. Normal questions aren't obsessive. And they don't have a backup question the second you get it off your mind. And I know how you feel. I just did my compulsion. :/ I told my husband what was on my mind because I was scared that "he deserved to know" and "what if he gets mad? If he gets mad then he definitely deserves to know" although I feel better it just fueled, "okay, so that was good and he wanted to know so that means confessing is the right thing to do and you need to find other things to confess, keeping secrets is very wrong." And now I'm trying really hard not to start searching for other things to confess. It's no good, no good at all. Best to just sit with the feelings until they are no longer.

Maybe saying “it could happen AGAIN” would help?

No not really...

But thanks for your response!!

I remembered that I masturbated to the father of my boyfriend one time and it is killing me and I really won't ever do it again. I don't fancy him at all, it was just a fantasy but I made a mistake in my relationship a while ago and since then I can't stop feeling horribly guilty for everything, like ever thinking of other people. It os my first boyfriend, I love him to the moon and my mother cheated on my father which led to a horrbile divorce so I am extremely scared of messing this up. I never been this happy all my life and struggled with harm ocd before, but when I made this mistake I suddenly started to feel anxious about finding other people attractibe or fantasizing about other people...i even feared that I could have cheated on my boyfriend without noticing it

I looked into his phone, I didn't cheat on him, i would never. But I remembered this and I thought it was okay, it's just a fantasy and I really have no interest whatsoever in his father but it is HAUNTING ME

That was the mistake i made

Thank you so much! And @b2192 I think that it is common for every one with real event ocd to think that yours is the worst. I read that when i searched for real event ocd in this app. I also feel that it was bad because I did it a few times and not only once, like three times maybe? I also recommens the ocd stories via spotify, they have a podcast regarding real event ocd

So not only did I fantasize, I did it like three times on purpose...

Yeah it is common I honestly think your being hard on yourself though My real event grabs a hold of so many things. One being similar to yours, i cheated in the past and even when I wasnt with him I still felt like I had to confess to things he didnt need to know about. I think you just have to accept what's done is gone now and you have learnt and are still learning how to be the best you can be

All this reassurance is just going to fuel your real life OCD. This theme might feel better but the next one will come on and you'll need more reassurance. You need to sit with the feelings and stop ruminating.