- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Honestly I wish that was the problem I had in my real event. Like you've done nothing wrong I'm saying that in a good way Your OCD has seriously blown that event out of proportion and made it 1000x worse than it even is Everyone fantasises . Your fine
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The feeling of leacing an important thing behind or ignoring someone is a great discription. I think you're talking about the feeling of no closure- without reassurance you just feel exposed and kinda raw, like you can't move on because there's more to be done. It's this very uncomfortable spot that you can do the ERP treatment. Relax and let the feelings be. The job of ERP isn't to convince yourself of anything nor is it to agree with your thoughts, it's to let your thoughts be until they aren't there any longer.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You stop analyzing it and stop confessing it. The exposure would be the initial remembering and the pang of guilt. The respinse prevention would be to sit with it without judging how bad it was, reasoning with it, telling someone about it, ect. Just sitting with it.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I am so sorry...It must feel horrible. And I can imagine that you are giving yourself a really hard time. I can't solve your problem but I think I can say the same thing to you that you said to me. Whatever you do, good or bad or grey, you still have this inner child in you. Watch pictures of yourself when you were little. This little girl is still inside you. She makes mistakes, she grows, she evolves but deep inside there is still this little girl and even though you did some things that don't accord to your values, you can't beat this inner child up forever. You gotta care for yourself amd you deserve it. You are not a bad person just because you made a mistake ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The fact that it feels extremely difficult to let it be is the difference. That's OCD. Normal questions aren't obsessive. And they don't have a backup question the second you get it off your mind. And I know how you feel. I just did my compulsion. :/ I told my husband what was on my mind because I was scared that "he deserved to know" and "what if he gets mad? If he gets mad then he definitely deserves to know" although I feel better it just fueled, "okay, so that was good and he wanted to know so that means confessing is the right thing to do and you need to find other things to confess, keeping secrets is very wrong." And now I'm trying really hard not to start searching for other things to confess. It's no good, no good at all. Best to just sit with the feelings until they are no longer.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You just described EXACTLY how I feel!!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@SoMi1907 Hey, at least we aren't alone!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Maybe saying “it could happen AGAIN” would help?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
No not really...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
But thanks for your response!!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I remembered that I masturbated to the father of my boyfriend one time and it is killing me and I really won't ever do it again. I don't fancy him at all, it was just a fantasy but I made a mistake in my relationship a while ago and since then I can't stop feeling horribly guilty for everything, like ever thinking of other people. It os my first boyfriend, I love him to the moon and my mother cheated on my father which led to a horrbile divorce so I am extremely scared of messing this up. I never been this happy all my life and struggled with harm ocd before, but when I made this mistake I suddenly started to feel anxious about finding other people attractibe or fantasizing about other people...i even feared that I could have cheated on my boyfriend without noticing it
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I looked into his phone, I didn't cheat on him, i would never. But I remembered this and I thought it was okay, it's just a fantasy and I really have no interest whatsoever in his father but it is HAUNTING ME
- Date posted
- 4y ago
That was the mistake i made
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you so much! And @b2192 I think that it is common for every one with real event ocd to think that yours is the worst. I read that when i searched for real event ocd in this app. I also feel that it was bad because I did it a few times and not only once, like three times maybe? I also recommens the ocd stories via spotify, they have a podcast regarding real event ocd
- Date posted
- 4y ago
So not only did I fantasize, I did it like three times on purpose...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah it is common I honestly think your being hard on yourself though My real event grabs a hold of so many things. One being similar to yours, i cheated in the past and even when I wasnt with him I still felt like I had to confess to things he didnt need to know about. I think you just have to accept what's done is gone now and you have learnt and are still learning how to be the best you can be
- Date posted
- 4y ago
All this reassurance is just going to fuel your real life OCD. This theme might feel better but the next one will come on and you'll need more reassurance. You need to sit with the feelings and stop ruminating.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You are right, I wasn't sure about that since I was not really sure it was real event OCD and wanted to know if it really was it but it turned out to be reassurance.. Is it reassurance when I ask if it is real event ocd or not?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@SoMi1907 Yep. That's one of the hardest things about real life OCD is you don't know if you should be feeling crappy about it or not, don't know if you should confess it or not.... ect. I'm dealing with one of those thoughts right now. Think of it sorta like an alcoholic though: for a normal person 1 beer isn't a big deal. For an alcoholic 1 beer is the start of a 2 day drinking binge. If your reassurance seeking constantly causes, "okay, but...." "well, actually..." or other thoughts to pop right up, it's best to just eliminate the obsession completely.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@christinejg94 Whoa.. Thanks for the help. I find it very tricky to distinguish between reassurance seeking and "normal" asking. It feels extremely difficult to just let it be, I always feel like I leave an important thing behind which I haven't really figured out and I feel like I ignore something important...
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w ago
i don’t think i can, i can’t stomach the possibility of these things, or maybe i can (because they might be true and deep down i know that) and just don’t want to and want to pretend it isn’t there. i can’t do ERP, i just want to pretend it isnt there and won’t happen to clarify, i know i have to do ERP, i know it’s necessary; i don’t need to be told this, this is just how i am feeling currently
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I have contamination OCD that causes me to excessively wash my hands/clean items with disinfectant wipes. I know I just need to start with small exposures but how do I do that without spiraling? I tried a while back by just touching the outside of my dishwasher and not washing my hands after and it led to me being unable to even exist in my house. I basically lived on my couch for three weeks as it was the only 'safe' space that I had not touched with my dirty hands. I had to take a week off work to clean my house to make it somewhat liveable. I still haven't got round to cleaning everything though so things like my kitchen are still no-go zones that I don't enter. I just don't know how to start ERP without it making everything worse. Any advice would be appreciated. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment due to financial constraints.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
What ERP or other techniques do you use to combat fear of cancelation? Especially curious about those with taboo thoughts, false memory ocd and event ocd based off of real events where the fear of cancellation may actually hold some validity. I once did my own ERP not under a therapist but just on my own I decided to create an anonymous account on Twitter and defend a friend who was receiving online criticism. I knew that this would be semi-controversial so I was expecting backlash and when I recieved troll replies it actually seemed to be a really helpful low-stakes exposure activity. Is this something that others have done? Low stakes online posts etc. that you know will recieve negative responses? I have had severe OCD as a kid as pretty much every subtype under the sun, and as an adult I pretty much have all the types under control except for this real event and false memory and taboo thought OCD. It seems like a different beast since it's somewhat realistic in the camcellation culture today, and it's confusing to address. Ive shut down almost all social accounts and it's keeping me from progressing in a career where I need to have an online presence :/
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