Can I post how I feel on hear to get advice about what’s going on in my head ?

Ok thank you so like absolutely everything no matter how bizarre

Of course you can! This is a safe place to get help ?

I want to say my story but might be long so is that ok ?

Will u answer me later cause just doing something at the minute ?

Thank you

Well I’ll start now it’s a long story but I think it’ll help and u can tell me what I should do I remember when I was younger not sure how old only like 2-3 years ago ( I’m 17) I remember having thoughts and questioning if I was gay on holiday and it definitely ruined that holiday and I got home and never botherd me at all. This is really wrong and weird but I remember when I was 13 and my brother was 10 neither of us kissed a girl and we was worried that we didn’t know what we was doing so we tried it to see what it was like and I remember I didn’t like it at all and we never did it again. This year at the start I was watching inbetweeners and a scene came on with pedo Kennedy and the thing with my brother popped into my head and some reason I was like am I a pedo and the same question was on my mind and I felt depressed really depressed, I have three younger brothers and I felt weird around them and all children I saw I didn’t get thoughts as such but I got anxiety seeing a child and after that I had some thoughts but not many but I still felt like a really bad person and I felt shit for weeks on end I finally told my mum and I felt better and forgot about it completely, but now lockdown has come it has all come back I dktm feel as down but still feel really bad at times like I saw a kid like 13 On the other side like house from looking out my window and didn’t have any thought but feel weird like is this the pocd like do I have ocd in a mild way is that possible? But I’ve never had it before like I’ve always been obsessed with girls, like I’ve been close to this girl and when I’m with her I feel happy and don’t have any other thoughts and I think I like her but as soon as I’m on my own or at home these other thoughts come back and idk what to do it’s just really scary like does this make me a bad person ? It’s ruining my life I am a good footballer and had a future in football a Chance to be pro but since all this ocd or whatever it is I haven’t done anything to do with football and each day is so hard, I’m sorry for the long story just don’t knkw what to do at the minute so hopefully you people can help me and if anyone has had similar but I appreciate anyone who will help thank you

Like last year I wasn’t like this is just some reason something flipped in my brain is this well normal with ocd or am I just really messed up ?

Completely normal with OCD. I suffer from HOCD and it didn’t pop up until I was 19. I’m 27 now and still struggle with it. Used to think I was really fucked up for a while and still think that on occasion

Can you still have happy relationships like I like this girl but I don’t want to push her away because I can’t sort my mind out and obviously I dktm want to tell her what it is because it’s so weird

And does it ever get better ?

Like when I’m with her I like her and I’m myself but when I’m left to my own thoughts I feel Guilty like I don’t actually like her and I’m leading her on

That’s ocd aswell ?

OCD has got to be the worst thing ever like battling my own brain, is mild ocd a thing ?